Champaign, Illinois

                                  The bottom line's been snorted

The bottom card's been dealt

No one knows like you know right now

How truly bad it felt



All your life you wasted

On dreamin' about the day,

Worker bees kill off their queen

and carry all her eggs away



Oh and if you die fearin' God

And painfully employed

You will not go to heaven,

You'll go to Champaign, Illinois



Up north in Chicago

Where booze makes no one blush

Memories come back to you

In a double bourbon rush



But memories aren't all bad

Yeah and neither, my friend, are you

there is an argument there must be some heaven left

for hearts that are half true



Oh and if you spend your whole life

Driving horses into Troy

You will not go to heaven

You'll go to Champaign, Illinois



No you will not go to heaven

You'll go to Champaign, Illinois



Roll on blacktop highway

In circles towards the sun

Springfield's in the distance,

and that's the last big one



After that comes judgment,

Yeah and judgment will be swift

You will be eliminated,

But here's a parting gift:



Oh and if you die fearing God

And painfully employed

No you will not go to heaven

You'll go to Champaign, Illinois



No you will not go to heaven

You'll go to Champaign, Illinois



No you will not go to heaven

You'll go to Champaign, Illinois