Blow [live]

On the Vermont Transit Bus I leaned my arm into alittle chink of sun,
Going somewhere older than I was,
Strapped into something tight, keeping me small.
I dug into you like rock climbing;
Too scared of coming down,
Too scared of going up,
Too scared of rockface.
I should've split my sides or spilled my guts or hit you or something,
But I was good, and your father's little pancakes
So round and perfect and me sitting up too straight,
Laughing in wrong places, kissing you,
Kissing up, kissing too soon.

When the cock crows
When the morning comes where will I go ?
When the cock crows
When the love is gone where will I go ?

And when you got me pregnant I stopped the party and
I stopped the typewriter and I stopped your dumb ball game in the red barn and I
Stopped your father and bled instead.
And I felt the lie - something sticky on the inside,
A bitter wind in my throat,
Stopping me wanting,
In my stomach, in my head and you said

Sugar sugar, you couldn't come come
Sugar sugar, without your mother
Sugar sugar, you couldn't taste it
Sugar sugar, in my throat.

When the cock crows
When the morning comes where will I go ?
When the cock crows
When the love is gone where will I go ?

I got my daddy's eyes
But you gave me your double vision,
I got my daddy's stride
Now I'm walking blind with double vision.

And I can almost see your face now, in me.
And I can almost feel the weight you carried.

You had to break the skin
To put the blood between us,
You did the dirty work
To put the blood between us.

And I can almost see your face now, in me.
And I can almost feel the weight you carried.

Oooh rocking the seed in me
Oooh learning to speak the mothertongue.

Sometimes between the lines
I crashed, I could've killed you
I tried to go too fast
And I crashed, I could've killed you.

And I can almost see your face now, in me
And I can almost feel the weight you carried.

Oooh rocking the seed in me
Oooh learning to speak the mothertongue.

But I can almost see your face now, in me
And I can almost feel the weight you carried

The mothertongue, the mothertongue.

Oh I won't be your pretty baby,
I won't eat from your hand again.
And the man in the white says it's alright,
He says, come on girl give up the fight.
You'll go to sleep, there will be no pain.
Well I want to live with myself again.

Well, where we lived there was a lighthouse,
Throwing a white beam into our house,
Over my body when I was sleeping,
Over the secrets I was keeping,
I could tell myself there would be no pain,
But I have to live with myself again.

I'm digging up, I'm digging up,
I'm digging up, I'm digging up,
I'm digging up, I'm digging up,
I'm digging in the earth.

I'm looking for signs
And I'm shaking the dolls
And the fairy-tales lied
And somewhere, back there
I didn't understand,
Man and woman and woman and man.
And I'm shaking the dolls
I'm shaking the dolls.

Oooh, the dream isn't coming through,
I can't feel for you.

Well somewhere, back there
I didn't understand,
Man and woman and woman and man,
And I'm shaking the dolls
I'm shaking the dolls.
Oooh I have to live with myself again,
Oohh I want to be with my body again,
OoohYou can't make me hollow again.

Oooh, the dream isn't coming through
I can't feel for you.

Love, shooting up, through my veins,
I gotta get a hit again.