unknown

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Ike willis (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Ray white (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Bobby martin (keyboards, vocals)
Alan zavod (keyboards)
Scott thunes (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)

"hi-ho silver!"
Way!

Keep it greasey
So it'll go down easy
Keep it greasey
So it'll go down easy
Keep it greasey
So it'll go down easy

Roll it over 'n
Grease it down
I'll drive you through
The heart of town

Keep it greasey
So it'll go down easy
Keep it greasey
So it'll go down easy
Keep it greasey
So it'll go down easy

Roll it over 'n
Grease it down
I'll drive you through
The heart of town
"hi-ho silver!"

Hey, the good women,
They sure has it tough
The good men, well
There just ain't enough
All the good girls are
Lookin' all the time
Good silver 's
Something that
They can't find
'cause if they
Find one miraculously
They try to be lovin'
As they can be
'cause if they find
One and let him go
Chances are they
Might not never find
One no mo'

So they
Keep it greasey
So it'll go down easy
Way!
Keep it greasey
So it'll go down easy
Keep it greasey
So it'll go down easy

Roll it over 'n
Grease it down
I'll drive you through
The heart of town

A good lovin' man
Is hardest to find
A good woman needs
To ease her mind
And i know a few that
Need to ease it behind
All y'gotta do is
Grease it down
'n everything is fine

Keep it greasey
So it'll go down easy
Keep it greasey
So it'll go down easy
Keep it greasey
So it'll go down easy

Roll it over 'n grease
It down
I'll drive you through
The heart of town

A girl don't need
No fancy grease
To get herself
Some rump release
Any kind
Of lube 'll do
Maybe from another
Part of you
Lube from the north
Lube from the south
Take a little slobber
"hi-ho silver!"
From the side of
Your mouth
From your mouth
From your mouth
From your mouth
From your mouth
...
Grease it down
Here come that crazy
Screamin' sound...

"hi-ho silver!"
"thank you, masked man!"
"hi-ho silver!"
...

Ok: everybody!
"hi-ho silver!"

Keep it greasey
So it'll go down easy
Keep it greasey
So it'll go down easy
Keep it greasey
So it'll go down easy
Roll it over 'n grease it
Down, down, down
Grease it down...
Oh no no no! here comes
That screamin' sound
Again...

Captain beefheart (vocals)

I'm a band leader. not only can i drink a whole lot, but i play 23 different instruments , too and i don't even know how to read music. self-taught, you know. couldnt tell it, though, to hear me play. when i play and sway in rhythm to the catchy little tunes that i know for five miles around get hot pants for me, hotcha!

Last night was pretty good for a wednesday. we got ten requests for, we got bill bailey, and we played them all and we got seven people came up for the twist contest. i gave away a box with two small bottles of champagne imported from europe (heh) and kissed the girl who won and shook hands with the guy she was with. he didnt mind when i kissed her because i'm important.

We have a new routine. been working on it for three weeks or more. i pretend i'm a queer and the sax player pretends he's a queer, too, and later on in the show, (thisll kill ya) we kiss each other so that it looks to the audience like we kiss each other on the mouth. (heh). when we go... into a fast number, god, the people love it! wait... till... we... get to las vegas!

(ha-heh-heh)

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Lowell george (guitar, vocals)
Roy estrada (bass, vocals)
Don preston (keyboards, electronics)
Buzz gardner (trumpet)
Ian underwood (alto saxophone)
Bunk gardner (tenor saxophone)
Motorhead sherwood (baritone saxophone)
Jimmy carl black (drums)
Arthur tripp (drums)

The mothers of invention!

Sweet leilani!
In a
Just pretend it was thirty years ago
And this is the first song of the night
For the kind of a band
That your mother and your father used to go and cream over

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Napoleon murphy brock (saxophone, vocals)
George duke (keyboards, vocals)
Ruth underwood (percussion)
Tom fowler (bass)
Chester thompson (drums)

Hallo! hello!
Hello!
Is this room service?
Hello?

Hallo?

Is this room service at the hotel leningrad?

Oh, oh, oh, jawohl!
What would you like...?
Yeas, this is room service

Look here, buddy

Yeas, what would you like?

Oh, i'm so hungry!
You know, when you're a tourist and everything
And you travel around, you know
Going to all the neat little shops

Ten marks, costs you ten marks

I'm so hungry!

This call is going to cost you ten marks
You got to understand that in the fo..., in the front

Look here

Everything costs ten marks

Ivan, listen

Ivan, that's me
Jawohl

Look
You're going to sleep
You're going to sleep
I am so hungry
Can you bring me something to eat right away?

Bouillia... bouilliabai?

No bouilliabai

Bouilliabai?

No boogie-a-bay

How's about boogie-the-bay?

No boogie-woogie-the-bay

How's about a fishie with the eye fallin' out?

Fish with...? hey, that sounds delicious!
Send me some fish with the eyes falling out

How about a little sand over it?
That'll make it...

Sand on the fish, yes, a sand-fish

That be ten marks

Do you have a sand-fish here?

Sand-fishie?
The eye's ten marks
The fishie is forty

Hey!
Hey, listen!

Jawohl!

The people in your country certainly are charming
You know where i can get some pussy?

Ah...

Never mind, look

This is very, this is very respectable hotel, you understand

Just send me up...

You tell to bring pussy in here?
We spray you with lace!

Oh, well...

Right in the face!

Oh, well...

You don't bring no pussy in this hotel!

Ahhah, okay...

Who do you think we are anyway?

Well, i guess you told me...

Are you a christian?

Am i... yeah, i'm a christian, sure!

Isn't everyone?
Ah, okay, you can bring...
Well you can bring some pussy in here if you're a christian
That's a difference...

Sure, if i'm a christian that means i get some pussy, right?

That's right, that's cool, if you're a christian

Okay

You also get bouilliabai with it

Yeah, hey, great!
Look...

And the fish with the eye fallin' out

I want you to send me some pussy

One pussy

Some fish with the eyes falling out

One fish with the eye falling out

Some bouilliabai

Some bouilliabai

And a bible

And a what?

And a giddeon bible

And a giddeon bible?
Okay, we also bring you the finnian bible

The phoenician bible?

No, the finnian bible, to go with the giddeon bible

The finnian bible

The finnian and the giddeon go together here

This is a terrible connection,
I can hardly hear you
But look, buddy,
Can you please get that stuff up to my room in a hurry?
I'm so hungry

We shall send it up by the southern pacific railroad

Fast ah?

That is very fast
So fast you can never know
..........
Cape cape cape kansas
Cape cape cape kansas
Cape cape cape kansas
Cape cape cape kansas

You will also like to have a little visit

Hello, hello, hello
Room service?

Hallo?

Hey buddy!

You did not get your order?

No, listen, it's a...

You were not pleased with the pussy?

You don't like americans very much here, do you?

Oh, you american! that'll be twenty marks!

Yeah, twenty... right
Well, i don't care how much it costs, you know,
Just get it up to my room in a hurry because i'm so hungry

Well, you have to understand
If we didn't bring it up there too fast
It's probably because of the... the long summer that we had here,
You see

You had a long summer and that's why...?

We had a very long summer, about that fast

Heh heh

That's how long it was, like that

Now listen!

Wait a minute!

You get that food to my room right away

Room number?

Or i'm gonna call the american embassy

What?

You mean what am i going to call them?

Why?

I'm going to call them a barrel of motherfuckers
That's what i'm gonna call them

Well i know who's gonna bring it up to you right away

Mart, mart, mart perellis
Mart, mart, mart perellis
Mart, mart, mart perellis
Mart, mart, mart perellis

Ronnie williams (vocals)
Frank zappa (guitar)

Ronnie:
We lived in a little room, man. it was, it was probably a fourth as big as, as your livin' room, frank. (cough) and uh, everytime we picked a booger we'd flip it on this one winduh, or wipe it there if we couldn't flip it there, y'know. and uh, i guess dwight stayed with me for about....'bout seven months, wasn't it? six months? and uh, every night we'd contribute, y'know, two or three or four boogers, y'know. and when he left, uh my mom knew what was goin' on all the time but we thought we had her hoodwinked. y'see, she was smarter than we, what, than what we were. an' she made us clean 'em off, y'know? we used ajax and we couldn't get them things...we had to use a... had to use a putty knife, man, to get them damn things off the winduh. you couldn't even see out the winduh with all them boogers, man. i'm not kiddin' you (sniff). an' it was big ones too, an little, and there was some goober ones that weren't even hard man, you'd just smear 'em, young ones. it's like fro-you've seen f
rosted glasses. that wind
Uh was just like a frosted glass with spots all over it, y'know? and uh, (sniff) it was- it was no good. although, th-that was the good ol' days, though.

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Ray white (guitar, vocals)
Steve vai (guitar)
Tommy mars (keyboards)
Bobby martin (keyboards, saxophone, vocals)
Ed mann (percussion)
Scott thunes (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)

I signed on the line
For seven long years
They said i'd be a big star
They said i'd get a big car
All the coke i could tube
All the dope i could shoot
All the smoke i could smoke
But now i'm bein' off 'n broke

They said i oughta re-record
The tracks of my tears
They said: "hey! this is it!
It's gonna be a big hit"
With my name up in lights
And some custom-made tights
All the girls call my name
(massimo!)
But it was all just a game

Nigger biznis
Nigger biznis
Well, nigger biznis all the time
Well, nigger biznis has brought disaster
On top of this here heart of mine

(well, now's the time to play the blues!)

Well, one day that contract will expire
One day i will be free
From that nig-ger, nig-gig-gig-ger, nigger biznis
All this nigger biznis
All this repressing me nigger biznis
Nigger biznis
Oh, nigger biznis all the time, all along
Well, nigger biznis has brought destruction
Which is why you're here in this song

The next piece that we're going to play...

(audience laughter)

Maybe i should tell you what we were doing.

(more audience laughter)

The, the signals that we are giving i'll explain to you very simply. this means 'free improvisation' and finger symbols told the performers which of the fragments they were to uh, play at any given moment. anyway, the next piece that we're going to play is in standard notation, and it's actually pretty tame compared to the other five. it's called the collage two, and it was written last thursday.

(audience laughter)

Ronnie williams (vocals)
Frank zappa (guitar)

(cough)
Fz: what key do you wanna do it in?
Ronnie: try maybe, uh, d flat.
Uh, do it in c, do it in c!
Uh, do it, do it slop.
Do-do-dat-dat, do-do (clap-clap)
(snork)
Yeah, that's pretty good. ba-ba-ba-bump,
Ba-ba-ba-bah-bahdily-bum-bow.
Bo-do-do-diddly-dow,
Bung-bow-do-bom-bom.
(laugh)
Bo-do-dung-dow-dodee-do-do-do-do-do
Do-do-do-dodn-dada
Doo-doo-da-da,
Dadn-dadn-da-da
Da-dadl-da-da-da
Dadn-diddly-dadn-diddly-dung-
De-dong-bong-bom-de-diddly dung dung
Ba-badn-boooo,
Rum-pum-badn-rum-pum-bung-bung-bung

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Ike willis (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Ray white (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Bobby martin (keyboards, vocals)
Alan zavod (keyboards)
Scott thunes (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)

No more credit from the liquor store
My suit is all dirty boy, my shoes is all wore
I'm tired and lonely, my heart is all sore
Advance romance, i can't stand it no more
No more...

She told me she loved me, i believed what she said
She took me for a sucker boy, all corn-fed
The next thing i knew she had a bolt on the door
Advance romance, i can't use it no more
No more...

She took ike's watch like they always do
(it was a timex too).
Ahoo ahoo...
And a shame on you, yeah
No more money boy, i-i-i-i shoulda knew
Nennen hennin henninah...
Won't somebody go sit on ah...
Nennen hennin henninah...
Yes! he sure looks magic!
Hi-ho silver!
Tinsel chair!
The big jaws...
The way she do me boy
She might do you too!
Awfully big jaws, now!
The way she do me boy
She might do you too!
Shake up the...
I'll tumble for ya!
Oh no!
The way she do me boy
She might do you too!
You remember utah...
You know what happened...
Jaws!

Advance romance
People i am through
I'm through...

Potato-head bobby was a friend of mine
He opened three of his eyes in the food stamp line
He opened four of his eyes in the food stamp line
He opened five of his eyes in the food stamp line
He opened six of his eyes in the food stamp line
He said she might be the devil
Well, i don't know...
But she sure was fine...
Advance romance
He wanna try it one time
Just one time...
Later that night he drop on by
He told her all he wanna do is come up and say 'hi'
(hi-hi-hi...)
Half an hour later she had frenched his fry
Everybody:
Yodeloo yodeloo yodeloo oh
Frenched his fry
(isn't that amazing?)
Advance romance
Bobby say goodbye-ye-ye-yiee-i-ee-i-ee-i-ee-i

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Napoleon murphy brock (saxophone, vocals)
George duke (keyboards, vocals)
Ruth underwood (percussion)
Tom fowler (bass)
Chester thompson (drums)

Everybody gotta say: "heh heh heh"

Oh yeah!

It's a, it, it,
It's about all the sunshine here in fin... fin... finland
And all that kinda stuff that makes you wanna have a little...

Tush tush tush

And then i told,
I said why don't you and me get together goin' up to my...

Wait a minute!
What's that you pullin' outa your mush?

But she, she said...

Wait a minute, i said what?

Heh heh heh

Napoleon says he don't use them things and he ain't...

What's wrong with you anyway?
But why would you use that for anyway?
I've never seen one like that in my life

What do you think i was ... like a little video?

Tush tush tush

Except when i laid in ah, wherever it was...
And ah...

Hey, wait a minute...

No, i ain't done much
She gave everybody in the group about twelve of them
Son-of-a-guns
And i said a black one, a pink one and a...

Heh heh heh

I said i could use them, so

I told i could use 'em either but she gave 'em

I owned 'em for about six months and then i could ...

But she said... ha, ha, ha!

Y'all is great!

It was nice and pretty though

Heh heh heh

But ruth said she wouldn't go give up
Unless you all use some of them kfmr...

And she said after the show, brian
All you have to do is come in to ring the bell and draw a
Three-hole

Heh heh heh ha ha ha

Oh yeah
Oh yeah

I must say that you guys are gonna take some cheese outta that
Restaurant

Tush tush tush

That's what i was tryin' to do last night
When that m... wouldn't let me in the god... pickin'

It's the protein and the energy and the...

Bafflin' to get me in her room...
Wouldn't let me in the hotel...

Wait a minute

Oh, i got a key to the...

Heh heh heh

Ladies and gentlemen!
Welcome to our program tonight
Which features ruth underwood on percussion,
Napoleon murphy brock on tush tush tush
Chester thompson on drums
Tom fowler on bass
And george duke on keyboards

And the name of the very first song that we're going to play
Tonight
Is stink-foot

(squeak squeak squeak)

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Mark volman (vocals)
Howard kaylan (vocals)
Jim pons (bass, vocals)
Don preston (keyboards, electronics)
Ian underwood (keyboards, alto saxophone)
Aynsley dunbar (drums)

Once upon a time
Way back a long time ago,
When the universe consisted of nothing more elaborate than
Mark bolman

Oh, thank you frank
And don't misspell it,
That's not marc bolan
That's mark volman

Hiya friends
I wanna welcome each and everyone of you
I wanna say to you tonight
I feel great
I mean, i feel great
Everywhere i go people are always comin' up to me
And they say mark, mark, mark

Mark are you kiddin'
Lemme tell you this friends:
I am not kiddin'
I mean, i am portly and i am maroon
Well, how many people here tonight can guess what i am?

Aaaah
I can't guess what you are

Well, then i'll give you some clues
And the first clue is
I am portly
Does that help?

Not much
No, i don't know who you are

Okay, i got one
Clue number two:
I am double knit

Does that help?

No, not much
Whaddya mean?

Well, then i've to give you one more clue
I know this is gonna give it away
And i hate like damn to tell you this
But clue number three:

Ich bin maroon!

Ahhhhhhhh you're a sofa!

Once upon a time
Way back a long time ago,
When the universe consisted of nothing more elaborate than
Mark volman ...

Thank you, frank

... trying to convince each and every member
Of this extremely hip audience here tonight,
That he was nothing more, nothing less
Than a fat maroon sofa,
Suspended in the midst of a great emptiness
A light shined down from heaven (* twinkling sounds *)

And there he was ladies and gentleman, the good lord
And he took, he took a look at the sofa,
And he said to himself
"quite an attractive sofa"
"this sofa could be commercial"

With a few more margaritas and the right company

However, i digress
"what this sofa needs" said the big 'g'

"is a bit of flooring underneath of it"
And so in order to make this construction project possible,
He summoned the assistance of the celestial corp of engineers,
And, by means of a cute little song in the german language
(which is the way he talks whenever it's heavy business)
The good lord went something like this:
(take it away jim pons!)

Gib zu mir etwas fussbodenbelag
Unter diesen fetten fliessenden sofa

Everybody!

Gib zu mir etwas fussbodenbelag
Unter diesen fetten fliessenden sofa

And of course ladies and gentlemen that means:
"give unto me a bit of flooring under this fat floating sofa"
And sure enough boards of oak appeared throughout the emptiness
As far as vision permits,
Stretching all the way from belfast to bogner regis
And the lord put aside his huge cigar
And proceeded to deliver unto the charming maroonish sofa
The bulk of his message
With the assistance of a small electric clarinet
And it went something like this...

Take it away jim pons!

Gib zu mir etwas fussbodenbelag
Unter diesen fetten fliessenden sofa

Everybody!

Gib zu mir etwas fussbodenbelag
Unter diesen fetten fliessenden sofa

And of course ladies and gentlemen, that means:
Give unto me a bit of flooring under this fat floating sofa

And sure enough boards of oak appeared throughout the emptiness as far as vision permits, stretching all the way from belfast to bagner regious and the lord put aside his huge cigar and proceeded to deliver unto the charming maroonish sofa the bulk of his message with the assistance of a small electric clarinet and he went something like... this:

Frank zappa (guitar)
Tommy mars (keyboards, vocals)
Arthur barrow (bass)
Vinnie colaiuta (drums)
Terry bozzio (vocals)
Dale bozzio (vocals)
Ray white (vocals)
Ike willis (vocals)

Hello, anybody home?...special delivery!
Oh no!
Registered mail, you're gonna hafta sign fer this, buddy
Oh no!
Cmon, i know youre in there
Oh no!
(weep, weep, weep)

I don't wanna get drafted
I don't wanna go
I don't wanna get drafted
(weep)

I don't wanna get drafted
I don't wanna go
I don't wanna get drafted
No-oh-woh-oh-woh...

Roller skates 'n disco
Is a lot of fun
I'm too young 'n stupid
To operate a gun

I don't wanna get drafted
I don't wanna get drafted
I don't wanna get drafted
I don't wanna get drafted

My-y-y sister don't wanna get drafted
She don't wanna go
My sister don't wanna get drafted
My-y-y sister don't wanna get drafted
She don't wanna go
My sister don't wanna get drafted
No-oh-woh-oh-woh...

Wars are really ugly
They're dirty and they're cold
I don't want nobody
To shoot her in the fox hole, fox hole

I don't wanna get drafted
I don't wanna get drafted
I don't wanna get drafted
I don't wanna get drafted

Wars are really ugly
They're dirty and they're cold
I don't want nobody
To shoot me in the fox hole, fox hole

Aiieeeeeeeee...shot in the fox hole
Shot in the fox hole, shot in the fox hole
Shot in the fox hole, shot in the fox hole
Aiieeeeeeeee...shot in the fox hole
Shot in the fox hole, shot in the fox hole
Shot in the fox hole, shot in the fox hole
Aiieeeeeeeee...shot in the fox hole
Shot in the fox hole, shot in the fox hole
Shot in the fox hole, shot in the fox hole
Aiieeeeeeeee...shot in the fox hole
Shot in the fox hole, shot in the fox hole
Shot in the fox hole, shot in the fox hole

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Ike willis (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Ray white (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Bobby martin (keyboards, vocals)
Alan zavod (keyboards)
Scott thunes (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)

Ride my face to chicago
Ride it all night long
Ride my face to chicago
Ride it all night long

Say oo-wee-oo-oo
Oo-wee-oo-oo
You can say that!
Oo-wee-oo-oo
One more time!
Oo-wee-oo-oo
Oh, well

Ride my...
Ride my face to chicago
Ride it all night long
Ride my face to chicago
Ride it all night long

On board!
Oo-wee-oo-oo
The plane is leaving soon
Oo-wee-oo-oo
You must be on board for the ticket
Oo-wee-oo-oo
Will that be an isle or a window?

Ride my...
Ride my face
Ride my face
Ride my face

Ride my face to chicago
Ride it all night long
Ride my face to chicago
Ride it all night long
Say oo-wee-oo-wee-oo-wee-wee
Oo-wee-oo-oo
Oo-wee-wee-oo-wee-wee-oo-wee-wee
Oo-wee-oo-oo
Tell 'em what they're winning, aha!
Oo-wee-oo-oo

Ride my...
Ride my face
Ride my face
Barking fishermen
Ride my face
Ride my face
Fishermen
Ride my face
Ride my face
Ride my face
Ride by!

Dick:
I started out in florida, uh producing a record at a studio, and i got friendly with the engineer, and got interested in engineering. next thing i knew, i was listening to an album called 'freak out!' by the mothers of invention. i became very interested in their concept of music, their concept of, of uh, society in general, and their concept of humor, which i thought was very good, and uh enjoyed, because uh, they were saying a lot- whole lotta bunch of stuff that i wanted to say and i agreed with and thought was true. then one day i decided, 'i'll move to new york' because the air is clean, and the people are friendly, and everybody's in love. so i went to new york, and i got this job at this incredible twelve track studio. well, i didn't know from twelve track, i thought four track was really hot stuff. so i went in there and they said, 'here's the board. learn it.' he go, 'your first client's coming in in five minutes.' well, my first client was frank zappa,

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Napoleon murphy brock (saxophone, vocals)
George duke (keyboards, vocals)
Ruth underwood (percussion)
Tom fowler (bass)
Chester thompson (drums)

Whipping post!

Say that again please

Whipping post!

Whipping post? ok, just a second

(do you know that?)
Oh sorry, we don't know that one
Anything else?

Hum me a few bars of it...please
Just show me how it goes, please
Just sing, sing me whipping post
And then maybe we'll play it with you

Ooh-ooh-ooh

Thank you very much
And now...

Judging from the way you sang it,
It must be a john cage composition, right?

Here we go...montana

One two, one two three four

I might be movin' to...

Hold it! hold it!
We can't possibly start the song off like that!
Good god!!!
That's inexcusable!

What happened to you last night?

(george has a tape of it)

George has a tape of it?
Ok, we'll use that in the second show
Ready? montana...

Wait a minute...whipping post
No...montana
One two, one two three four

It's too fast for you!

One two, one two three four

I might be moving to helsinki soon
Just to raise me up a crop of
Dental floss

Raisin' it up
Waxen it down
Tying it to the whipping post
In the middle of town

But by myself i wouldn't
Have no boss,
Cause i'd be raisin' my lonely
Whipping post
Raisin' my lonely
Whipping post
Raisin' my lonely
Whipping post

Well i just might grow me some thongs
But i'd leave the hippy stuff
To somebody else...how 'bout chester?
And then i would

Get a person
Tie him up
To the whipping post
And beat the living shit out of him
So that guy in the audience was satisfied

But by myself i wouldn't
Have no boss,
'cause i'd be raisin' my lonely
Whipping post-floss

Movin' to montana soon
Gonna be a dental floss tycoon (how unique!)
Movin' to montana soon
Gonna be a mennil-toss flykune
(yes, it's such a ballad at this tempo)

Little booger-bear
Boogers everywhere

And now for the thrilling conclusion to that song...

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Ike willis (guitar, vocals)
Denny walley (slide guitar, vocals)
Warren cucurullo (guitar)
Tommy mars (keyboards, vocals)
Peter wolf (keyboards)
Ed mann (percussion)
Arthur barrow (bass)
Vinnie colaiuta (drums)

Hiya folks!

Alright, here's the deal,
This is our last show here in london
Gee, it's gonna be tough!
Got a few...a few of the boys are sick tonight
But they're still gonna...give you their all
I want to introduce you to the members of the rockin' teen-age
Combo and tell you which ones are sick and what they've got

Denny walley on slide and vocals
He has, he has an aluminum finger
And we're gonna have that removed
A little bit later in this show^lthis is ike willis
Ike has a...now ike, ike is our lead vocalist,
Our dynamic male vocalist
He's got a soar throat
And all sorts of other things are wrong with him
He'll never be able to get through this show
The only thing he's got to take care of is his knitted hat

And of course tommy mars,
Who also has stomach-flu, on keyboards
Do you have any other diseases tommy?
No? he's available! ok!

Ed mann on percussion
Ed is still healthy
Except, and he told me this backstage,
Except for his mental health
You have to expect these things in this kind of a group

And peter wolf on keyboards
There's, there...apparently there's nothing wrong with peter yet

(he's got stomach-flu too)

You have stomach-flu too?
Ooh, my goodness!
The circle is closing in

Okay, vince colaiuta on drums
Now, as you can see from looking at vince,
There's absolutely nothing wrong with him

(malnutrition)

Arthur barrow, our bass player has got a ...
He's having a lotta trouble
He's been very sick all day
Missed the soundcheck and everything
But he's gonna try
He's gonna try really hard

And of course: sophia warren on guitar

Frank zappa (lead guitar, synthesizer, vocals)
Ike willis (rhythm guitar, synthesizer, vocals)
Mike keneally (rhythm guitar, synthesizer, vocals)
Bobby martin (keyboards, vocals)
Ed mann (vibes, marimba, electronic percussion)
Walt fowler (trumpet, flugel horn, synthesizer)
Bruce fowler (trombone)
Paul carman (alto saxophone, soprano saxophone, baritone saxophone)
Albert wing (tenor saxophone)
Kurt mcgettrick (baritone saxophone, bass saxophone, contrabass clarinet)
Scott thunes (electric bass, mini-moog)
Chad wackerman (drums, electronic percussion)

[this is spoken with the style and accent of an evangelist preacher from the southern united states.]

Thank you very much, mr. zappa.

Ah, i'm very pleased to be here on behalf of the administration-- the most powerful government in the world. and, uh, mr. fitzwater invited me to come here tonight to create some balance, because there has been some things done by mr. zappa that i think are unfair to our country.

I think, from the beginning, to say that this is going to be balanced, when he has this *lingerie* up here, and makin' fun of *children's toys*, as a beginning, if this is what he has in mind, i think he's wrong.

It's people like mr. frank zappa that kept the senate from being able to send arms to the democratic freedom fighters in nicaragua! and i, for one, am headin' down there myself, as soon as i finish up here tonight.

And i want the elected official, mr. charlie sanders the democrat, to remember that "democrat" begins with a "d", just like demon! and we'll remember you, friend, when it comes votin' time. and margaret boyd[?] and carmen belacord[?], despite ...[?] habit, did some help to back things up.

Friends, these forms cost money. and this money could be going towards a more powerful military; this money could be going towards driving out the illegal aliens. instead, mr. zappa wants to have a bunch of young, uninformed 18 to 21-year-olds votin' here, and spendin' your money.

And i just want you to know that tonight, i *love* him anyway. because i've got love in my heart, and i'm not afraid of the fact that he turned this into some kind of zoo up here.

Sunday--that's not fair, mr. zappa--sunday night used to be a night in which americans would get together. they'd go to their place of worship, and they would share. and i don't know why, on this night which is supposed to be valentine's night, there aren't more people that have a heart that have a love affair with america. but instead, they're here on sunday night, worshipping this man who's demon-possessed!

I ask you, mr. frank zappa, what kind of man can name a child moon unit? what kind of man can name a child weasel? what kind of man can name a child ohman? to me, it defies the logic.

And i'm comin' here tonight because i want to share with him, just the same way we're going to give spirit power to the democratic freedom fighters down there, our brothers that wanna have the freedom to be able to have a man like pat robertson. to have a man like mr. dole. restore, america!

And i'm gonna ask the power and the joy and the power of the living king of kings, and a lot of you here, you smut-minded, musical people say, "king of kings, that must be elvis". no, i'm gonna ask for the power and ask for the glory. i'm gonna now, i'm gonna tell you a story. i'm gonna drive out the demons, friends. i'm gonna ask you to help this badness end. come on frank, let's have a story. come on now share the glory. do you feel the power? come on, put out the negativity...

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Ike willis (guitar, rhythm guitar, vocals)
Ray white (guitar, vocals)
Bobby martin (keyboards, saxophone, vocals)
Alan zavod (keyboards)
Scott thunes (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)
Steve vai (guitar)
Tommy mars (keyboards)
Ed mann (percussion)

There's a ship arriving too late
To save a drowning witch
She was swimmin' along
Tryin' to keep a date
With a merchant marine
Who told her he was really rich
But it doesn't matter no more...
She's on the ocean floor
'n the water's all green down there
'n it's not very clean down there
'n water snakes
'n rusty wrecks
Is all that she can see
As the light goes dim
And she's tryin' to swim
Will she make it?
(boy, we sure hope so...)

Not even a witch oughta be caught
On the bottom of america's spew-infested
Ho-ho-ho, hey-hey...
She could get radiation all over her
She could mutate insanely... (aie-ee-aie)
She could mutate insanely... (earth wall)
Then you know
She could go on the freeway and grow up to be 15 feet tall
And very very scary-lookin'
And then...
Cars could crash all over the place
As a result of people with hawaiian shirts on...
Lookin' up to hear her go "ha ha ha..."
Sardines in her eyebrows...
Lobsters up 'n down her pudenda
All of them horribly large from graduation...
And smelling very bad
And dangerous!

Maybe a submarine could save her,
That's right! yes, that's true!
And bring her back just like a mud-shark...
Tell 'em what they win, bob!
Well, therefore ladies:
A full week's supply of gartenion's onion rings,
Bronco's new bondage-in-a-bottle!
It won't crack, it won't stake, it won't beat, it won't budge,
It won't bite the old fate...
And of course a brand new, absolutely brand new,
New, new, and of course, but also a new car!

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Ike willis (guitar, vocals)
Ray white (guitar, vocals)
Bobby martin (keyboards, saxophone, vocals)
Alan zavod (keyboards)
Scott thunes (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)

Frank zappa:
Massimo, come here

Frank zappa:
Bring the band on down behind me, boys

Massimo bassoli:
Ragazzi per favore,
(please guys,)

Zappa vorrebbe dirvi di stare calmi,
(zappa would tell you to be calm,)

Di non gettare niente nello stadio
(to not throw anything into the stadium,)

E di non ... avere problemi con la polizia.
(and to not ... have troubles with the police.)

Cercate di stare calmi.
(try to be calm.)

Non sappiamo esattamente cosa sta succedendo
(we don't know exactly what is happening)

Pero' cercate di mantenere la calma
(but try to keep calm)

Cosi' si puo' andare avanti con lo spettacolo.
(so that the show can go on )

Frank zappa:
Seduti per favore
(please seat down)

Guy1:
Ma che e'?
(what's up?)

Guy2:
Hanno rotto, hanno rotto sta porta qui no ...
(they have broken, they have broken this door)

Hanno rotto sta porta qui
(they have broken this door)

Perche' veniva in campo
(because opens to the field)

Allora siccome la polizia si e'...
(then since the police is ...)

Con la porta aperta
(with the door opened)

Non voleva entrasse tutta la gente. capito?
(they didn't want all people in. understand?)