Apostrophe

Jim gordon (drums)
John guerin (drums)
Aynsley dunbar (drums)
Ralph humphrey (drums)
Jack bruce (bass)
Erroneous (bass)
Tom fowler (bass)
Frank zappa (bass, lead vocals, guitar)
George duke (keyboards, background vocals)
Don "sugar cane" harris (violin)
Jean-luc ponty (violin)
Ruth underwood (percussion)
Ian underwood (saxophone)
Napoleon murphy brock (saxophone, background vocals)
Sal marquez (trumpet)
Bruce fowler (trombone)
Ray collins (background vocals)
Kerry mcnabb (background vocals)
Susie glower (background vocals)
Debbie (background vocals)
Lynn (background vocals)
Ruben ladron de guevara (background vocals)
Robert camarena (background vocals)
Tony duran (rhythm guitar)

(instrumental)

Jim gordon (drums)
John guerin (drums)
Aynsley dunbar (drums)
Ralph humphrey (drums)
Jack bruce (bass)
Erroneous (bass)
Tom fowler (bass)
Frank zappa (bass, lead vocals, guitar)
George duke (keyboards, background vocals)
Don "sugar cane" harris (violin)
Jean-luc ponty (violin)
Ruth underwood (percussion)
Ian underwood (saxophone)
Napoleon murphy brock (saxophone, background vocals)
Sal marquez (trumpet)
Bruce fowler (trombone)
Ray collins (background vocals)
Kerry mcnabb (background vocals)
Susie glower (background vocals)
Debbie (background vocals)
Lynn (background vocals)
Ruben ladron de guevara (background vocals)
Robert camarena (background vocals)

(well, right about that time people
A fur-trapper (who was strictly from commercial)
Had the unmitigated audacity to jump up from behind my igloo (peekaboo) )
And he started into whippin' on my favorite baby seal
With a lead-filled snowshoe)

I said, with a
Lead-
Filled
With a lead filled snowshoe
He said, "peekaboo"
I said, with a
Lead-
Filled
With a lead filled snowshoe
He said, "peekaboo"
He went right upside the head of my favorite baby seal
He went "whap" with a lead-filled snowshoe, and
He hit him on the nose and hit him on the fin, and he
That got me just about as evil as an eskimo boy can be. so i bent down
And i reached down, and i scooped down and i gathered up a generous
Mitten-ful of the deadly yellow snow

The deadly yellow snow, from right there where the huskies go!

Whereupon i proceeded to take that mittenful of the deadly yellow snow
Crystals and rub it all into his beady little eyes with a vigorous
Circular motion hitherto unknown to the people of this area, but destined
To take the place of the mudshark in your mythology
Here it goes,the circular motion, now rub it!

(here fido)

And then
In a fit of anger
I pounced

And i pounced again

Great googly moogly!

I jumped up and down on the chest of the him

I injured
The fur trapper

Well he was very upset, as you can understand
And rightly so, because the
Deadly yellow snow crystals had
Deprived him of his
Sight

And he stood up, and he looked around, and he said

"i can't see"
"i can't see"
"oh, woe is me"
"i can't see"

"well.....you know
I can't see
Nothin'"

"he took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my right eye
He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my other eye
And the husky wee-wee
I mean the doggie wee-wee
Has blinded me
And i can't see
Temporarily"

Well, the fur-trapper stood there, with his arms outstretched across the
Frozen white wasteland, trying to figure out what he was going to do about
His deflicted eyes. and it was at that precise moment that he remembered
And ancient eskimo legend, wherein it is written (on whatever it is that
They write it on up there) that if anything bad ever happens to your eyes
As the result of some sort of conflict with anyone named
Nanook,
The only way you can get it fixed up is to go

Trudging across the tundra
Mile after mile
Trudging across the tundra

Right down to the parish of st. alphonzo

Jim gordon (drums)
John guerin (drums)
Aynsley dunbar (drums)
Ralph humphrey (drums)
Jack bruce (bass)
Erroneous (bass)
Tom fowler (bass)
Frank zappa (bass, lead vocals, guitar)
George duke (keyboards, background vocals)
Don "sugar cane" harris (violin)
Jean-luc ponty (violin)
Ruth underwood (percussion)
Ian underwood (saxophone)
Napoleon murphy brock (saxophone, background vocals)
Sal marquez (trumpet)
Bruce fowler (trombone)
Ray collins (background vocals)
Kerry mcnabb (background vocals)
Susie glower (background vocals)
Debbie (background vocals)
Lynn (background vocals)
Ruben ladron de guevara (background vocals)
Robert camarena (background vocals)

In the dark
Where all the fevers grow
Under the watah
Where the shark bubbles blow
In the morning
By your radio
Do the walls close in to suffocate, yah
You ain't got no friends
And all the others they hate, yah
Does the life you been leading gotta go? (hmmmm?)
(well let me straighten you out)
About a place i know
(get your shoes and socks on people, it's right around the corner)

Out through the night and the whispering breezes
To the place where they keep the imaginary diseases
Out through the night and the whispering breezes
To the place where they keep the imaginary diseases

(this has got to be the disease for you
Now scientists call this disease, brohm-a-drosis
But us regular folks, who might wear tennis shoes
Or an occasional python boot,
Know this exquisite little inconvenience by the name of
Stink-foot)

You know
My python boot is too tight
I couldn't get it off last night
A week went by
And now it's july
I finally got it off
And my girlfriend cried, you got stink-foot!
Stink-foot, darlin'

Your stink-foot
Puts a hurt on my nose
Stink-foot, stink-foot, i ain't lyin'
Can you rinse it off, do you suppose?
(here fido, fido, mpt, mpt, mpt, come here little puppy
Bring the slippers
Arf, arf, arf
(c-r-a-s-h)
Huhm, hah, hah, hah...hmhmhm)
Stink!

(well then fido got up off the floor, and he rolled over
And he looked me straight in the eye
And you know what he said?
"once upon a time, somebody say to me"
This is the dog talkin' now
"what is your, conceptual, continuity?"
"well i told 'em right then", fido said
"it should be easy to see
"the crux of the biscuit
Is the apostrophe"
Well you know, the man that was talking to the dog
Looked at the dog, and he said
Sort of staring in disbelief
"you can't say that"
He said
"it doesn't, and you can't, i won't, and it don't
It hasn't, it isn't, it even ain't, and it shouldn't
It couldn't"
He told him, "no, no, no"
I told him, "yes, yes, yes"
I said, "i do it all the time
Ain't this boogie a mess"?)

The poodle bites, the poodle chews it
(repeat + ad lib)

Jim gordon (drums)
John guerin (drums)
Aynsley dunbar (drums)
Ralph humphrey (drums)
Jack bruce (bass)
Erroneous (bass)
Tom fowler (bass)
Frank zappa (bass, lead vocals, guitar)
George duke (keyboards, background vocals)
Don "sugar cane" harris (violin)
Jean-luc ponty (violin)
Ruth underwood (percussion)
Ian underwood (saxophone)
Napoleon murphy brock (saxophone, background vocals)
Sal marquez (trumpet)
Bruce fowler (trombone)
Ray collins (background vocals)
Kerry mcnabb (background vocals)
Susie glower (background vocals)
Debbie (background vocals)
Lynn (background vocals)
Ruben ladron de guevara (background vocals)
Robert camarena (background vocals)

The mystery man came over
And he said "i'm outta sight!"
He said for a nominal service charge
I could reach nirvana tonight
If i was ready, willing and able
To pay him his regular fee
He would drop all the rest of
His pressing affairs and devote
His attention to me

But i said "look here brother
Who you jiving with that cosmik debris?
Now who you jiving with that cosmik debris?
Look here brother, don't waste your time on me"

The mystery man got nervous
And he fidget around a bit
He reached in the pocket of his mystery robe
And he whipped out a shaving kit
Now i thought it was a razor
And a can of foaming goo
But he told me right then when the top popped open
There was nothin' his box won't do
With the oil of aphrodite, and the dust of the grand wazoo
He said "you might not believe this, little fella
But it'll cure your asthma too"

And i said "look here brother
Who you jiving with that cosmik debris?
Now what kind of a guru are you, anyway?
Look here brother, don't waste your time on me"
(don't waste your time)

"i've got troubles of my own", i said
"and you can't help me out
So, take your meditations and your preparations
And ram it up your snout!"
"but i got the crystal ball", he said
And held it to the ligh
So i snatched it, all away from him
And i showed him how to do it right

I wrapped a newspaper 'round my head
So i looked like i was deep
I said some mumbo-jumbo, then
I told him he was going to sleep
I robbed his rings and pocketwatch
And everything else i found
I had that sucker hypnotized
He couldn't even make a sound
I proceeded to tell him his future, then
As long as he was hanging around
I said "the price of meat has just gone up
And your old lady has just gone down!"

And i said "look here brother-who you
Jiving with that cosmik debris?
Now is that a real poncho or is that a sears poncho?
Don't you know, you could make more money as a butcher?
So, don't waste your time on me"
Don't waste it, don't waste your time on me
(shanti)