The Slim Shady LP

[G] Eminem as Susan (the girl)
[D] Eminem as Dave
[J] Eminem as John
[R] Eminem as Ron

Chorus: repeat 2X {Eminem singing}

I never meant to give you mushrooms girl
I never meant to bring you to my world
Now you sitting in the corner crying
And now it's my fault my fault

[Eminem]
I went to John's rave with Ron and Dave
And met a new wave blonde babe with half of her head shaved
A nurse aid who came to get laid and tied up
with first aid tape and raped on the first date
Susan -- an ex-heroin addict who just stopped usin
who love booze and alternative music (Whattup?)
Told me she was goin back into usin again (Nah!)
I said, "Wait, first try this hallucinogen
It's better than heroin, Henn, the booze or the gin
C'mere, let's go in here" *knocks on the door*
"Who's in the den?"
[R] "It's me and Kelly!"
"My bad, (sorry) let's try another room"
[G] I don't trust you!
"Shut up slut! Chew up this mushroom
This'll help you get in touch with your roots
We'll get barefoot, buttnaked, and run in the woods
[G] Oh hell, I might as well try em, this party is so drab
"Oh dag!!"
[G] What?
"I ain't mean for you to eat the whole bag!"
[G] Huh?!



more free lyrics

[Dina] Hmm-hmm-hmhmhmmhm.. ahhh, whooooo!! Shit
[Em] Yo, mic check
Testing one, two, um... twelve
(whattup whattup whattup.. Outsidaz)
[Em] This is my dance song (Outsidaz)
Can you hear me?
(Rah Digga, Pacewon, Young Zee)
[Em] Aight, ay turn my headphones up
(bust it bust it)

[Eminem]
My favoite color is red, like the blood shed
from Kurt Cobain's head, when he shot himself dead
Women all grabbin at my shishkabob
Bought Lauryn Hill's tape so her kids could starve
(I can't stand white people!)
You thought I was ill and now I'm even more so
Shit I got full blown AIDS and a sore throat
I got a wardrobe with an orange robe {*wolf whistle*}
I'm in the fourth row, signin autographs at your show
(Yo can you sign this right here?)
I just remembered that I'm absent minded
Wait, I mean I've lost my mind, I can't find it
I'm freestylin every verse that I spit
cause I don't even remember the words to my shit (umm, one two)
I told the doc I need a change in sickness
and gave a girl herpes in exchange for syphilis
Put my LP on your Christmas gift list
You wanna get high, here bitch just sniff this

[Chorus 8X: Eminem] + (Dina Rae)
Cum on everybody (get down tonight)

[Eminem]
Yo.. yo yo yo yo
I tried suicide once and I'll try it again
That's why I write songs where I die at the end
Cause I don't give a fuck, like my middle finger was stuck
and I was wavin it at everybody screamin, "I suck" (I SUCK!!!)
I go on stage in front of a sellout crowd
and yell out loud, "All y'all get the hell out now"
Fuck rap, I'm givin it up y'all, I'm sorry
(But Eminem this is your record release party!)
I'm bored out of my gourd -- so I took a hammer
and nailed my foot to the floorboard of my Ford
Guess I'm just a sick sick bastard
who's one sandwich short of a picnic basket (I ain't got it all)
One Excederin tablet short of a full medicine cabinet
I feel like my head has been shredded like lettuce and cabbage
(ohhhhhhh) And if you ever see a video for this shit
I'll probably be dressed up like a mummy with my wrists slit

[Chorus 8X: Eminem] + (Dina Rae)
Cum on everybody (get down tonight)

[Eminem]
Got bitches on my jock out in East Detroit
Cause they think that I'm a motherfuckin Beastie Boy {*wolf whistle*}
So I told em I was Mike D
They was like, "Gee I don't know, he might be!"
I told em, "Meet me at Kid Rock's next concert
I'll be standin by the Loch Ness Monster (okay) peace out (bye!!)"
Then I jetted to the weed house
Smoked out til I started bustin freestyles
Broke out then I dipped quick back to the crib, put on lipstick
Crushed up the Tylenol and ate it with a dipstick (*slurping*}
Made a couple of crank calls collect [*brrrrrrring, click*]
"Ken Kaniff from Connecticut, can you accept?"
I wanna make songs all the fellas dub
And murder every rich rapper that I'm jealous of
So just remember when I bomb your set
Yo, I only cuss to make your mom upset

[Chorus 20X: Eminem] + (Dina Rae)
Cum on everybody (get down tonight)


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[intro]

[Cowboy]
I reckon you ain't familiar with these here parts
You know, there's a story behind that there saloon
Twenty years ago, two outlaws took this whole town over
Sheriffs couldn't stop em
Quickest damn gun slingers I've ever seen
Got murdered in cold blood
That ol' saloon there was their lil' home away from home
They say the ghosts of Bad and Evil still live in that tavern
And on a quiet night
You can still hear the footsteps of Slim Shady and Royce Da Five-Nine

[Eminem]
I don't speak, I float in the air wrapped in a sheet
I'm not a real person, I'm a ghost trapped in a beat
I translate when my voice is read through a sismograph
And a noise is bred, picked up and transmitted through Royce's head (AAHHH)
Trapped him in his room, possessed him and hoist his bed
Till the evilness flows through his blood like poisonous lead
Told him each one of his boys is dead
I asked him to come to the dark side, he made a choice and said

[Royce]
Who hard? yo I done heard worse
We can get in two cars and accelerate at each other
To see which one'll swerve first
Two blind bandits panic, whose mental capacity holds
That of a globe on top of nine other planets
Kissed the cheek of the devil
Intelligence level is hell-ier than treble peakin on speakers in the ghetto
Dismissal, I'm not a fair man, disgraced the race of a atheist
Intercepting missles wit my bare hands like a patriot
One track sliced without swords, I buried the Christ corpse
In my past life when the Black Knight mounted the white horse
And stay over-worked, its like the Nazis in the nations
Collaborating, attemptin to take over the earth

[Eminem]
Cuz this is what happens when Bad Meets Evil
We hit the trees till we look like Vietnamese people
He's Evil, and I'm Bad like Steve Segal
Above the Law cuz I don't agree wit police either (shit, me neither)
We ain't eager to be legal
So please leave me wit the keys to your Jeep Eagle
I breathe ether in three amounts
When I stab myself in the knee with a diseased needle
Releasin rage on anybody in squeezing range
Cold enough to make the seasons change into freezing rain
(He's insane) No I'm not, I just want to shoot up and I'm pissed off
Cuz I can't find a decent vain

[Royce]
The disaster wit dreds
I'm Bad enough to commit suicide and survive long enough
To kill my soul after I'm dead
When in danger it's funny actually my flavor's similar to a waiter
Cuz I serve any stranger wit money
I spray a hundred, man until they joint chains
While slippin bullets at point blank range like they was punches
Piss on a flag and burn it, murder you then come to your funeral
Serve this lobbyist, strangle your body then confirm you
Whippin human ass, throwin blows crackin jaws
Wit my fists wrapped in gause, dipped in glue and glass
I'm blazin MC's, at the same time amazin MC's
Somehow MC's ain't that eye-brow raisin to me
>From all of angles of us, flash a mack loud enough to cast a avalanche
And bust till volcanoes errupt

[interlude]
*phone rings*
Hello? (Billy) Aiyyo what's up (we're comin to get you)
STOP, THEY KNOW IT'S US!!

[Eminem]
I used to be a loudmouth, remember me? (uh-ah)
I'm the one who burned your house down (oh)
Well I'm out now (shit), and this time I'm comin back to blow your house up
And I ain't gon leave you a window to jump out of
Give me two fat tabs and three shrooms
And you won't see me like fat people in steam rooms
And when I go to hell and I'm gettin ready to leave
I'ma put air in a bag and charge people to breathe

[Royce] (Eminem)
Cuz this is what happens when Bad Meets Evil
And we hit the trees till we look like Vietnamese people
He's Evil, and I'm Bad like Steve Segal
Against peaceful, see you in hell for the sequel
(We'll be waitin) See you in hell
Wall Street, Royce Da Five-Nine, Slim Shady
See you in hell for the sequel (bye bye)
Bad Meets Evil, what? (till next time)

[Cowboy]
And so that's the story when Bad Meets Evil
Two of the most wanted individuals in the county
Made Jesse James and Billy the Kid look like law-abiding citizens
It's too bad they had to go out the way they did
Got shot in the back comin out of that ol' saloon
But their spirits still live on till this day
Shhh...[spits] wait, did y'all hear that?
[Footsteps and windblowing]


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Aiyyo!
This song is dedicated - to all the happy people
All the happy people - who have real nice lives
And who have no idea what it's like, to be broke as fuck

[Verse One]
I feel like I'm walkin a tight rope, without a circus net
Poppin perkaset, I'm a nervous wreck
I deserve respect; but I work and sweat for this worthless check
I'm bout to burst this tech at somebody to reverse this debt
Minimum wage got my adrenaline caged
Full of venom and rage, 'specially when I'm engaged
and my daughter's down to her last diaper, it's got my ass hyper
I pray that God answers, maybe I'll ask nicer
Watchin ballers while they flossin in they Pathfinders
These overnight stars becomin autograph signers
We all long to blow up and leave the past behind us
Along with the small fry's and average half pinters
But playa haters turnin bitch like they have vaginas
Cause we see them dollar signs and let the cash blind us
Money'll brainwash you and leave yo' ass mindless
when snakes slither in the grass spineless

[Chorus: repeat 2X]
That's Rock Bottom - when this life makes you mad enough to kill
That's Rock Bottom - when you want somethin bad enough to steal
That's Rock Bottom - when you feel like you've had it up to here
Cause you mad enough to scream but you sad enough to tear

[Verse Two]
My life is full of empty promises and broken dreams
I'm hopin things look up; but there ain't no job openings
I feel discouraged, hungry and malnourished
Living in this house with no furnace, unfurnished
And I'm sick of workin dead end jobs with lame pay
And I'm tired of being hired and fired the same day
But fuck it, if you know the rules to the game play
Cause when we die we know we all going the same way
Cause it's cool to be player, but it sucks to be the fan
When all you need is bucks to be the man, plus a luxury sedan
I'm comfortable and roomy in a six
But they threw me in the mix with all these gloomy lunatics
who walk around depressed, and smoke a pound of sess a day
And yesterday went by so quick it seems like it was just today
My daughter wants to throw the ball but I'm too stressed to play
Live half my life and throw the rest away

[Chorus]

[Verse Three]
There's people that love me, and people that hate me
But it's the evil that made me this backstabbin deceitful and shady
I want the money, the women, the fortune and fame
if it means I end up burnin in hell scorchin in flames
if it means I'm stealin your checkbook and forgin your name
This lifetime bliss for eternal torture and pain
Cause right now, I feel like just hit the rock bottom
I got problems - now everybody on my blocks got 'em
I'm screamin like them two cops when Tupac shot 'em
Holdin two glocks, hope your doors got new locks on 'em
My daughter's feet ain't got no shoes or socks on 'em
And them rings you wearin look like they got a few rocks on 'em
And while you flauntin 'em I could be takin 'em to shops to pawn 'em
I got a couple of rings and a brand new watch, you want 'em?
Cause I ain't never went gold off one song
I'm runnin up on someone's lawn with guns drawn

[Chorus]


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[Eminem]
A lot of people ask me.. am I afraid of death..
Hell yeah I'm afraid of death
I don't want to die yet
A lot of people think.. that I worship the devil..
that I do all types of.. retarded shit
Look, I can't change the way I think
And I can't change the way I am
But if I offended you? Good
Cause I still don't give a fuck

I'm zonin off of one joint, stoppin a limo
Hopped in the window, shoppin a demo at gunpoint
A lyricist without a clue, what year is this?
Fuck a needle, here's a sword, bodypierce with this
Livin amuk, never givin a fuck
Gimme the keys I'm drunk, and I've never driven a truck
But I smoke dope in a cab
I'll stab you with the sharpest knife I can grab
Come back the next week and re-open your scab (YEAH!)
A killer instinct runs in the blood
Emptyin full clips and buryin guns in the mud
I've calmed down now -- I was heavy once into drugs
I could walk around straight for two months with a buzz
My brain's gone, my soul's worn and my spirit is torn
The rest of my body's still bein operated on
I'm ducked the fuck down while I'm writin this rhyme
Cause I'm probably gonna get struck with lightnin this time

Chorus:

For all the weed that I've smoked - yo thi


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[Doctor] Scalpel
[Nurse] Here
[Doctor] Sponge
[Nurse] Here
[Doctor] Wait.. he's convulsing, he's convulsing!
[Nurse] Ah!
[Doctor] We're gonna have to shock him!
[Nurse] Oh my! Oh my God!
[Doctor] We're gonna have to shock him!
[Nurse] Oh my God!

[Eminem]
These are the results of a thousand electric volts
A neck with bolts, "Nurse we're losin him, check the pulse!"
A kid who refused to respect adults
Wore spectacles with taped frames and a freckled nose
A corny lookin white boy, scrawny and always ornery
Cause I was always sick of brawny bullies pickin on me
And I might snap, one day just like that
I decided to strike back and flatten every tire on the bike rack
(Whosssssh) My first day in junior high, this kid said,
"It's you and I, three o'clock sharp this afternoon you die"
I looked at my watch it was one twenty
"I already gave you my lunch money what more do you want from me?!?"
He said, "Don't try to run from me, you'll just make it worse..."
My palms were sweaty, and I started to shake at first
Something told me, "Try to fake a stomach ache it works"
I screamed, "Owww! My appendix feels like they could burst!
Teacher, teacher, quick I need a naked nurse!"
[N] "What's the matter?"
[E] "I don't know, my leg, it hurts!"
[N] "Leg?!? I thought you said it was your tummy?!?"
[E] "Oh, I mean it is, but I also got a bum knee!"
[N] "Mr. Mathers, the fun and games are over.
And just for that stunt, you're gonna get some extra homework."
[E] "But don't you wanna give me after school detention?"
[N] "Nah, that bully wants to beat your ass and I'ma let him."

Chorus: repeat 2X

Brain damage, ever since the day I was born
Drugs is what they used to say I was on
They say I never knew which way I was goin
But everywhere I go they keep playin my song

[Eminem]
Brain damage..
Way before my baby daughter Hailey
I was harassed daily by this fat kid named D'Angelo Bailey
An eighth grader who acted obnoxious, cause his father boxes
so everyday he'd shove me in the lockers
One day he came in the bathroom while I was pissin
And had me in the position to beat me into submission
He banged my head against the urinal til he broke my nose,
Soaked my clothes in blood, grabbed me and choked my throat
I tried to plead and tell him, "We shouldn't beef"
But he just wouldn't leave, he kept chokin me and I couldn't breathe
He looked at me and said, "You gonna die honkey!"
The principal walked in (What's going on in here?)
and started helpin him stomp me
I made them think they beat me to death
Holdin my breath for like five minutes before they finally left
Then I got up and ran to the janitor's storage booth
Kicked the door hinge loose and ripped out the four inch screws
Grabbed some sharp objects, brooms, and foreign tools
"This is for every time you took my orange juice,
or stole my seat in the lunchroom and drank my chocolate milk.
Every time you tipped my tray and it dropped and spilt.
I'm gettin you back bully! Now once and for good."
I cocked the broomstick back and swung hard as I could
and beat him over the head with it til I broke the wood
Knocked him down, stood on his chest with one foot..
.. Made it home, later that same day
Started reading a comic, and suddenly everything became gray
I couldn't even see what I was tryin to read
I went deaf, and my left ear started to bleed
My mother started screamin, "What are you on, drugs?!?
Look at you, you're gettin blood all over my rug!" (Sorry!)
She beat me over the head with the remote control
opened a hole, and my whole brain fell out of my skull
I picked it up and screamed, "Look bitch, what have you done?!?"
[M] "Oh my God, I'm sorry son"
[E] "Shut up you cunt!" I said, "Fuck it!"
Took it and stuck it back up in my head
then I sewed it shut and put a couple of screws in my neck

Chorus

[Eminem]
Brain damage..
It's brain damage..
I got brain damage..
It's brain damage..
It's probably brain damage..
It's brain damage..
Brain damage..
I got brain damage..


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Just the two of us.. (8X)

[Eminem]
Baby your da-da loves you (hey)
And I'ma always be here for you (hey) no matter what happens
You're all I got in this world
I would never give you up for nothin
Nobody in this world is ever gonna keep you from me
I love you

C'mon Hai-Hai, we goin to the beach
Grab a couple of toys and let da-da strap you in the car seat
Oh where's mama? She's takin a little nap in the trunk
Oh that smell (whew!) da-da musta runned over a skunk
Now I know what you're thinkin - it's kind of late to go swimmin
But you know your mama, she's one of those type of women
that do crazy things, and if she don't get her way, she'll throw a fit
Don't play with da-da's toy knife, honey, let go of it (no!)
And don't look so upset, why you actin bashful?
Don't you wanna help da-da build a sand castle? (yeah!)
And mama said she wants to show how far she can float
And don't worry about that little boo-boo on her throat
It's just a little scratch - it don't hurt, her was eatin
dinner while you were sweepin and spilled ketchup on her shirt
Mama's messy isn't she? We'll let her wash off in the water
and me and you can pway by ourselves, can't we?

Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!

See honey.. there's a place called heaven and a place called hell
A place called prison and a place called jail
And da-da's probably on his way to all of em except one
Cause mama's got a new husband and a stepson
And you don't want a brother do ya? (Nah)
Maybe when you're old enough to understand a little better
I'll explain it to ya
But for now we'll just say mama was real real bad
She was bein mean to dad and made him real real mad
But I still feel sad that I put her on time-out
Sit back in your chair honey, quit tryin to climb out (WAHH!)
I told you it's okay HaiHai, wanna ba-ba?
Take a night-night? Nan-a-boo, goo-goo ga-ga?
Her make goo-goo ca-ca? Da-da change your dia-dee
Clean the baby up so her can take a nighty-nighty
Your dad'll wake her up as soon as we get to the water
Ninety-seven Bonnie and Clyde, me and my daughter

Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!

Wake up sweepy head we're here, before we pway
we're gonna take mama for a wittle walk along the pier
Baby, don't cry honey, don't get the wrong idea
Mama's too sweepy to hear you screamin in her ear (ma-maa!)
That's why you can't get her to wake, but don't worry
Da-da made a nice bed for mommy at the bottom of the lake
Here, you wanna help da-da tie a rope around this rock? (yeah!)
We'll tie it to her footsie then we'll roll her off the dock
Ready now, here we go, on the count of free..
One.. two.. free.. WHEEEEEE! (whoooooshhhhh)
There goes mama, spwashin in the wa-ta
No more fightin wit dad, no more restraining order
No more step-da-da, no more new brother
Blow her kisses bye-bye, tell mama you love her (mommy!)
Now we'll go play in the sand, build a castle and junk
But first, just help dad with two more things out the trunk

Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!

Just the two of us.. (4X)

[Eminem]
Just me and you baby
is all we need in this world
Just me and you
Your da-da will always be there for you
Your da-da's always gonna love you
Remember that
If you ever need me I will always be here for you
If you ever need anything, just ASK
Da-da will be right there
Your da-da loves you
I love you baby
Typed by: dj.flash@pobox.com

* this is the same lyrics as "Just the Two of Us" from his EP

Just the two of us.. (8X)

[Eminem]
Baby your da-da loves you (hey)
And I'ma always be here for you (hey) no matter what happens
You're all I got in this world
I would never give you up for nothin
Nobody in this world is ever gonna keep you from me
I love you

C'mon Hai-Hai, we goin to the beach
Grab a couple of toys and let da-da strap you in the car seat
Oh where's mama? She's takin a little nap in the trunk
Oh that smell (whew!) da-da musta runned over a skunk
Now I know what you're thinkin - it's kind of late to go swimmin
But you know your mama, she's one of those type of women
that do crazy things, and if she don't get her way, she'll throw a fit
Don't play with da-da's toy knife, honey, let go of it (no!)
And don't look so upset, why you actin bashful?
Don't you wanna help da-da build a sand castle? (yeah!)
And mama said she wants to show how far she can float
And don't worry about that little boo-boo on her throat
It's just a little scratch - it don't hurt, her was eatin
dinner while you were sweepin and spilled ketchup on her shirt
Mama's messy isn't she? We'll let her wash off in the water
and me and you can pway by ourselves, can't we?

Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!

See honey.. there's a place called heaven and a place called hell
A place called prison and a place called jail
And da-da's probably on his way to all of em except one
Cause mama's got a new husband and a stepson
And you don't want a brother do ya? (Nah)
Maybe when you're old enough to understand a little better
I'll explain it to ya
But for now we'll just say mama was real real bad
She was bein mean to dad and made him real real mad
But I still feel sad that I put her on time-out
Sit back in your chair honey, quit tryin to climb out (WAHH!)
I told you it's okay HaiHai, wanna ba-ba?
Take a night-night? Nan-a-boo, goo-goo ga-ga?
Her make goo-goo ca-ca? Da-da change your dia-dee
Clean the baby up so her can take a nighty-nighty
Your dad'll wake her up as soon as we get to the water
Ninety-seven Bonnie and Clyde, me and my daughter

Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!

Wake up sweepy head we're here, before we pway
we're gonna take mama for a wittle walk along the pier
Baby, don't cry honey, don't get the wrong idea
Mama's too sweepy to hear you screamin in her ear (ma-maa!)
That's why you can't get her to wake, but don't worry
Da-da made a nice bed for mommy at the bottom of the lake
Here, you wanna help da-da tie a rope around this rock? (yeah!)
We'll tie it to her footsie then we'll roll her off the dock
Ready now, here we go, on the count of free..
One.. two.. free.. WHEEEEEE! (whoooooshhhhh)
There goes mama, spwashin in the wa-ta
No more fightin wit dad, no more restraining order
No more step-da-da, no more new brother
Blow her kisses bye-bye, tell mama you love her (mommy!)
Now we'll go play in the sand, build a castle and junk
But first, just help dad with two more things out the trunk

Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
And when we ride!
Just the two of us.. (2X)
Just you and I!

Just the two of us.. (4X)

[Eminem]
Just me and you baby
is all we need in this world
Just me and you
Your da-da will always be there for you
Your da-da's always gonna love you
Remember that
If you ever need me I will always be here for you
If you ever need anything, just ASK
Da-da will be right there
Your da-da loves you
I love you baby


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