Memoirs Of A Housewife

I have a secret obsession

It's totally tupperware

My own science project

Defying wear and tear

I'm jealous of shopping carts

And all of their brand new things

I want to fondle their labels

In hopes one'll rub off on me



'cause everybody wants to feel brand new

Like they do



I spend my days indoors

Doing like ding-dongs do

Perfectly preserving

Myself for you



I take things out of their boxes

Take out my note pad and pen

Study carefully



'cause everybody wants to feel brand new

Like they do



So tell me you want me

Tell me you need me

Tell me i'll always be desirable

Especially to you



Make me feel brand new



Attractive!



Brand spanking clean

And desirable as homecoming queen



But if i were to bet

All of the frenchfries in the world

That you would say such things

I would surely be one very hungry girl



I approach china cautiously

If there's cracks i deny it

I ingest only perfect things

Into my visual diet



And at night i undress myself

In front of your favorite things

Your brand new hand-tied blue bass fishing lure

And in the corner your money clip sings



Everybody wants to feel brand new

Everybody wants to feel brand new

Like they do

As they do

I do too


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