M.h.'s Jokes

[mes is the one swearing a lot]



Anyway, this guy goes "fuckin 'ell, you don' 'alf complain for an eleven year old do you?"



Ooooohhhh



-that machine is nice



-fuck off it took me ages to get that, yeah



-i want that machine



-yeah what yeah right,



-clean joke



-wuh



-if i tell a good clean joke, can i have that?



-no you fuckin can't



-i want it, honest



-you can't have it



-there's no vus coming up there at all. is it supposed to have vus on it?



-no, it's not. 's fuckin' my machine, that. keep your hands off it.



-it's your machine. it's a vu-less machine. sure it's recording, mark? better turn the volume up. ok, what d'you call a guy with a spade in his head? doug.



-jesus, that's pathetic.



-what d'you call a guy who's been dead and buried for 30,000 years? pete. (nervous laugh) come on, then, astound me with your wit, mark.



[cut]



-come on, rewind it, let's see what you had to say.



-erm, we've been through this before, haven't we?



-right i'll do it for the tape like all them other bands do, like we've done it once, but the cameras weren't rolling



-nah, i'm thinking of my joke actually.



-so i'm reading frank zappa, right, it's an au- it's a biography by frank zappa



-right [mes totally disinterested]



-and - errrr - it's 1988, i go tup to 1988 and the book is about how many things he released, when he released it



-hrrrrrrghhhhhm



-how many offshoots and all this shit, and all of a sudden i'm realising, errr



-more interested when you were talking about napoleon actually


more free lyrics