The Cheerleader

Performed by adam sandler and steve koren





[sound of pom-poms]

Cheerleader: [with annoying feminine voice] "ok you guys, let's hear some spirit!"

[performing cheer]

Cheerleader: "united, we are united.. we'll be 'cause we're the tigers, we're out for vic-tor-y - yeah!"

[no response]

Cheerleader: "come on you guys! i wanna hear you!"

[still no response]

Cheerleader: "come on! the girls volleyball team's got a big game tonight! and we're gonna win 'cause we're the -"

Guy in crowd: "sit down!"

Cheerleader: "you guys are assholes!" [whining] "you think this is easy being a cheerleader!? let's see you come down here and try it!"

Guy: "shut up!"

Cheerleader: "you're the one who should be shutting up! this is my senior year of cheerleading and you're ruining it! i paid for my pom-poms with my own money." [half-crying]

Guy: "you suck!"

Cheerleader: [hurt] "i was gonna do a split for you guys, but now i'm not gonna cuz you guys don't appreciate anything."

[something hurled and hit cheerleader]

Cheerleader: "owwww! who threw that!? i'm gonna get a bruise now! i hate my school!" [whining]

[crowd cheering softly in background]

Guy: "we're sorry."

[pause]

Guy: "just kidding, you suck!"

Cheerleader: [half-crying] "ahhaw..no..."


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