Handjobs for Jesus

                                  I don't know what ends 

I don't know what makes me feel alive 

Cause all this time I've been alone 



The bible says it all 

But when they wrote that book, the earth was flat 

They needed hope, they needed faith 



I've spent all this time analyzing 

All this time scrutinizing 

All this time hypothesizing 

All this time philosophizing 

Is this life random and meaningless? 



They saw a burning bush 

If I would starve myself for ninety days, well, I'd have visions of my own 

Love your neighbor as yourself 

If I loved myself last night does that mean I need to jerk my neighbor off as well? 



I've spent all this time analyzing 

All this time scrutinizing 

(What's it worth?) 

All this time hypothesizing 

All this time philosophizing 

Is this life random and meaningless? 



Do I make this trouble? 

Do I make this complicated? 

Indeed, this is an answer for everyone 



What if I never heard of Jesus? 

What if I was born alone in a cell? 

(You would burn and burn in) 

Heaven will wait, heaven's too late 

I choose to find my heaven here on Earth 

So, all religion can go straight, straight to hell 



God has spoken 

God will smoke all the Earth 

God has spoken 

God will smoke all the Earth 



God has spoken, God has spoken 

(God has spoken, God has spoken) 

Spoken! 

Spoken!



Walking down life's highway 

I finally found my soul mate 

In Jesus 

Yeah, in Jesus 



He's a friend when I had none 

Handjobs for the homeless 

With Jesus 

Yeah, with Jesus 

(Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!) 



Come on, come on, come on 

Come on, come on, come on 

Handjobs for Jesus 

Handjobs for Jesus 



Come on, come on, come on 

Come on, come on, come on 

Handjobs for Jesus 

Handjobs for Jesus 

Handjobs for Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!