Mr. Bad Example

I started as an alter boy, working at the church

Learning all my holy moves, doing some research

Which led me to a cash box, labeled "Children's Fund"

I'd leave the change, and tuck the bills inside my cummerbund



I got a part-time job at my father's carpet store

Laying tackless stripping, and housewives by the score

I loaded up their furniture, and took it to Spokane

And auctioned off every last naugahyde divan



I'm very well aquainted with the seven deadly sins

I keep a busy schedule trying to fit them in

I'm proud to be a glutton, and I don't have time for sloth

I'm greedy, and I'm angry, and I don't care who I cross



I'm Mr. Bad Example, intruder in the dirt

I like to have a good time, and I don't care who gets hurt

I'm Mr. Bad Example, take a look at me

I'll live to be a hundred, and go down in infamy



Of course I went to law school and took a law degree

And counseled all my clients to plead insanity

Then worked in hair replacement, swindling the bald

Where very few are chosen, and fewer still are called



Then on to Monte Carlo to play chemin de fer

I threw away the fortune I made transplanting hair

I put my last few francs down on a prostitute

Who took me up to her room to perform the flag salute



Whereupon I stole her passport and her wig

And headed for the airport and the midnight flight, you dig?

And fourteen hours later I was down in Adelaide

Looking through the want ads sipping Fosters in the shade



I opened up an agency somewhere down the line

To hire aboriginals to work the opal mines

But I attached their wages and took a whopping cut

And whisked away their workman's comp and pauperized the lot



I'm Mr. Bad Example, intruder in the dirt

I like to have a good time, and I don't care who gets hurt

I'm Mr. Bad Example, take a look at me

I'll live to be a hundred and go down in infamy



I bought a first class ticket on Malaysian Air

And landed in Sri Lanka none the worse for wear

I'm thinking of retiring from all my dirty deals

I'll see you in the next life, wake me up for meals




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