Tv Weather Guy

My father was a lawyer, mom's at university

My brother and my sister, they both have their ph.d.

My grampa was a pilot shooting nazis from t he sky

But i am the most famous, i'm a tv weather guy



He smiles at the camera and tells a little joke

H e always says it's sunny if the telestrator's broke

Thinks a meteorologist knows what falls from the sky

But he's got a steady income as a tv weather guy



They said that i'm not qualified to be on the tv

Don't know celsius from fahrenheit so i just say degrees

I just read the temperatures and make up a bunch of lies

And end up being right more than the guy on channel five



He smiles at the camera and tells a little joke

He always says it's sunny if the telestrator's broke

Thinks cloud are made from cotton that have blown up to the sky

But he's got a steady income as a tv weather guy



On saturdays i must be out of bed by five a.m.

Put on a ton of make-up and then stare at the camera lens

Greeting all the viewers with a "hi-hi-hip-hello!"

'cause it's the day i have to host a kiddie cartoon show



He smiles at the camera then to his puppet sock

He raves about the crayon drawings of the family dog

Did a promo at the shopping mall and made the children cry

He's a lousy clown but a good tv weather guy



They said that i'm not cute enough to be an anchorman

Not tough enough for sports and for the arts i was too bland

But i know that some day i will reach my tv goal

When i guest star on baywatch or 90210



'til then i'll smile at the camera and tell a little joke

He always says it's sunny if the telestrator's broke

He wonders why big storms are always named for other guys

But he's got a steady income as a tv weather guy

He's got a steady income as a tv weather guy!


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