The Kinks Present A Soap Opera

Who's the fool with the cross-eyed stare,
The turned up nose and moronic glare?
Who's that simpleton standing over there?
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.

Who's that dumb-looking freckle-faced runt?
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
He walks like his feet are on back to front,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.

When he waddles down the street he looks kind of queer,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce,
Because he's got two left feet and taxi-door ears,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.

And when we laugh at the clothes he wears,
Jack just smiles 'cos he don't care.
Who's that fool? who's that ninny?
Who's that twit? who's that chump?
The idiot dunce, the idiot dunce.

Who is always the bottom of the class?
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
Who's a fool? who's a boob?
Who's a kook and an ass?
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.

When we take examinations he never gets a pass,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
And we all put him down 'cos he can't think fast,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
We ridicule him and punch him around,
But jack just laughs and stands his ground,
The idiot dunce, the idiot dunce.

Yeah, he's so unco-ordinated.
Yeah, and so disorientated,
And when we have a high school hop
You ought to see that idiot bop
And his arms and his legs
Seem to have minds of their own,
And you don't need brains
To have educated muscles and bones.

Yeah, you ought to see him dance
He moves like he's in a trance,
And when we have a high school hop
You ought to see that idiot rock,
And he's finally proved
That you don't need a high i.q.
To make your body move.
Now he's created a dance that everybody's trying to do.
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.

Do the idiot dunce.
All right put your finger on your nose,
Now cross those eyes.
Put your hands on your hips,
Now wriggle your backside.
Now you've got the knack
To do the idiot jack
From your head to the tips of your toes.

Now the whole world's doing it and everybody knows,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.
He's a real cool cat and a real gone groove,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.

And the girls go crazy when he starts to move,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce
Now jack's a success he's got nothing to prove,
Jack, jack the idiot dunce.

Even though jack is dim
His mother is so proud of him.
Hey, who's that groovy looking dude
Dancing with all the chicks?
The idiot dunce, the idiot dunce.

If ever you think about the happiest days of your life
Cast back your mind for a while
And remember the time when you were a child.
Don't think of things that make you sad,
Just remember all the good times that you had.

Do you remember only happy days,
Full of flaming junes and summer holidays?
Or do you remember those stormy novembers
When we walked in the wind and the rain?
Schooldays were such happy days
Now they seem so far away,
I remember and i'll always treasure.
Schooldays were the happiest days of your life
But we never appreciate the good times we have
Until it's too late.

I miss all the acquaintances we made
And i'd go back if i could only find a way,
Schooldays were the happiest days
Though at the time they filled me with dismay.
We only remember what we choose to remember.
When i was a schoolboy i loathed regulations and rules
I hated my textbooks and my school uniform,
'cos it made me conform,
And teachers were always disobeyed,
But i'd go back if i could only find a way.

Schooldays were the happiest days,
Now they seem so far away.
I remember and i'll always treasure
Schooldays were the happiest days of your life
But we never appreciate the good times we have
Until it's too late.
Now i wish i hadn't strayed,
And i'd go back if i could only find a way.
Schooldays.

In a deep dark jungle long time ago
Lived a lonesome caveman
He was a solitary soul
And he spent his playtime
Chewing meat from bones.
He didn't know how to talk much
He only knew how to groan
Then he lifted up his hands and reached to the sky
Let out a yell and no one replied.
Frustration and torment tore him inside
Then he fell to the ground and he cried and he cried.
But then education saved the day.
He learned to speak and communicate
Education saved the day.
He thanked god for the friends he made.
'cos everybody needs an education
Everybody needs an education.
Black skin, red skin, yellow or white,
Everybody needs to read and write
Everybody needs an education.

Thank the day when that primitive man
Learned to talk with his brothers
And live off the land.
He left his cave and he moved far away
And he lived with his friends in a house that they'd made
He learned to think and to work with his brain
And he astounded his friends with all the knowledge he gained

He wrote it down on a rock that he found
And he showed all his friends and they passed it around
And then education came that day.
The day it came was a sacred day.
Education came that day
He thanked god for the friends he'd made.

Well man built a boat and he learned how to sail
And he travelled far and wide
Then he looked up above saw the stars in the sky
So he learned how to fly.
Thanks to all the mathematicians
And the inventors with their high i.q.s
And the professors in their colleges
Trying to feed me knowledge
That i know i'll never use.
Thank you sir for the millions of words
That you've handed me down and you've told me to learn

But i've got words in my ears and my eyes
I've got so many facts that i must memorize
Because education's doing me in
I want to stop but my head's in a swim
Education drives me insane
I can't recall all the facts on my brain.
Education came that day
The day it came was a sacred day
Education saved the day
He thanked god for all the friends he made.

Teacher, teach me how to read and write,
You can teach me about biology,
But you can't tell me what i am living for
'cos that's still a mystery.
Teacher, teach me about nuclear physics
And teach me about the structure of man,
But all your endless calculations
Can't tell me why i am.
No you can't tell me why i am,
No you can't tell me why i am.

Everybody needs education,
Open universities, education.
Every race every creed, education.
And every little half-breed, education.
Every nationality, education.
All the little people need education.
Eskimos and pygmies need
And even aborigines, education.

Well physics and geography, education.
Philosophy and history, education.
Science and biology, education,
Geometry and poetry, education.
Well, education, education, education, education

(repeat 'education' till end)

Boys like you were born to waste,
You never listen to a word i say
And if you think you're here to mess around,
You're making a big mistake,
'cos you're gonna find out the hard way,
You gonna find out the hard way.

No matter what i do or say,
You're much too dumb to educate.
One day life's going to turn around and slap you in the face,
Then you're gonna find out the hard way.
You'll take the hard way,
Gonna take the hard way.

Well, you'll do it your way and i'll do it my way,
And we'll see who's the one to survive.
You'll find that with no foundation
Or qualifications
There's no way that you can get by,
No, there's no way you can get by.

Why don't you take the easy way?
Why don't you co-operate?
Don't just sit there and vegetate.
Do you want to end up illiterate?
You think that life's a vacation
And you've no inclination
To dust away the cobwebs of your mind.
Now it's time for confrontation
And i'm tired of being patient,
So i've got to be cruel to be kind.

You've got to be cruel to be kind.
I'm wasting my vocation teaching you to write neat
When you're only fit to sweep the streets.
Your intellect is such
That it requires a killer's touch.

So i'm going to play it your way,
We'll take the hard way.
Going to take the hard way,
You can take the hard way.
Gonna take the hard way,
Gonna take the hard way.

Walking along a crowded street
I see thousands of faces before me.
Then i see a face that i used to know
Long ago in my life story.
It starts me thinking about the things you said
For your image is still inside me.
The past is gone but in my head
You're still walking along beside me.
Is it something playing tricks with my eyes
Or just an illusion deceiving me,
Or is it someone in a disguise
Or visions of things that used to be?

But lately i've been going to
All the places that we once knew,
And just when i think that i am free of you
I keep seeing the things that remind me of you,
And just when i think you're out of my head
I hear a song that you sang or see a book that you read.
Then you're in every bar, you're in every cafŽ,
You're driving every car, i see you everyday,
But you're not really there 'cos you belong to yesterday.

No more looking back,
No more living in the past,
Yesterday's gone and that's a fact,
Now there's no more looking back.
Got to be hard,
Yeah, look straight ahead.
That s the only way it's going to be,
Yesterday's gone and that's a fact,
Now there's no more looking back,
Perhaps someday i'll stop needing you,
Then maybe one day i'll be free of you.

But lately i've been going to
All the places that remind me of you.
And just when i think you're out of my head
I hear a record you played or see a book that you read.
Then you're in every bar, you're in every cafŽ,
You're driving every car, i see you everyday
But you're not really there 'cos you belong to yesterday.

No more looking back,
No more living in the past.
Yesterday's gone, that's a fact,
Now there's no more looking back.
No more looking back.
No more living in the past.
Yesterday's gone, that's a fact.
Now there's no more looking back.