Give Me Convenience Or Give Me Death

So you been to school
For a year or two
And you know you've seen it all
In daddy's car
Thinkin' you'll go far
Back east your type don't crawl

Play ethnicky jazz
To parade your snazz
On your five grand stereo
Braggin' that you know
How the niggers feel cold
And the slums got so much soul

It's time to taste what you most fear
Right guard will not help you here
Brace yourself, my dear

Went to a party
I danced all night
I drank 16 beers
And i started up a fight

But now i am jaded
You're out of luck
I'm rolling down the stairs
Too drunk to fuck

Too drunk to fuck
Too drunk to fuck
Too drunk, to fuck
I'm too drunk, too drunk, too drunk
To fuck

I like your stories
I love your gun
Shooting out truck tires
Sounds like loads and loads of fun

But in my room
Wish you were dead
You ball like the baby
In eraserhead

Too drunk to fuck
Too drunk to fuck
Too drunk, to fuck
It's all i need right now
Too drunk to fuck

Too drunk to fuck
Too drunk to fuck
Too drunk, to fuck
I'm sick soft gooey and cold
Too drunk to fuck

I'm about to drop
My head's a mess
The only salvation is
I'll never see you again

You give me head
It makes it worse
Take out your fuckin' retainer
Put it in your purse

I'm too drunk to fuck
You're to drunk to fuck
Too drunk to fuck
It's all i need right now oh baby
I'm melting like an ice cream bar
Oh baby

And now i got diarrhea
Too drunk to fuck
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Oooohhh

You used to be a partner in crime
Now you say you ain't got the time

Gotta get serious, gotta plan
Gotta pass those entrance exams
Oh my god
It's senior year
All you care about is your career

Chorus
It's a life sentence
It's a life sentence
It's a life sentence
It's a life sentence

You're squelching your emotions
All you talk about is old times
You don't do what you want to
But you do the same thing everyday

No sense of humor
But such good manners
Now you're an adult
You're boring

Chorus

The walls are closing in
You stayed too long in school
I'd rather stay a child
And keep my self-respect
If being an adult
Means being like you

Are you really you you you
You you you you you you
Are you really you?
No

You're a chained-up dog fenced in a yard
Don't see much, you can't go far
Pace and froth, you're getting sick
Run too fast and it'll snap your neck

You say you'll break out
But you never do
You're just another ant in the hill
That's your life sentence

I am governor jerry brown
My aura smiles
And never frowns
Soon i will be president

Carter power will soon go away
I will be fuhrer one day
I will command all of you
Your kids will meditate in school

California über alles
über alles california

Zen fascists will control you
100% natural
You will jog for the master race
And always wear the happy face

Close your eyes, can't happen here
Big bro' on white horse is near
The hippies won't come back you say
Mellow out or you will pay

California über alles
über alles california

Now it is 1984
Knock knock at your front door
It's the suede/denim secret police
They have come for your uncool neice

Come quitely to the camp
You'd look nice as a drawstring lamp
Don't you worry, it's only a shower
For your clothes here's a pretty flower

Die on organic poison gas
Serpent's egg's already hatched
You will crack, you little clown
When you mess with president brown

California über alles
über alles california

I am no one
But i'm well known
For i am the man with the dogs

I stare at you shopping
Watch while you're walking
Two dogs run around your toes

You turn around
Two eyes break you down
"now, who does that guy think he's starin' at?"

Stop in your tracks
You're being laughed at
You armored ego is nude

And i do and i do
Crack up 'cos i'm getting to you
I see you i see you
And you're pretty self-conscious too

Down to your church
I'm looking for victims
Spell of the man with the dogs

I'll haunt you
And follow you to work
That ghost is back again

Creep into you
I won't go away
You're taking yourself too seriously

I smile as you frown
And turn to walk away
Your habits for all to see

I see a shrew
I see you
And the rodent things you do
You see you i see you
And you're pretty self-conscious too

And i'm gonna crack your mask
Yeah and i'm gonna laugh
Open wide

There's a prefab building and a funny smell
Around the hill outside of town
Every now and then we wonder
But we shrug our shoulders
And get back to work

Ray's guitar broke. no, we won't play rawhide, won't play anything. we'll play the theme from the dinah shore show. who wants to be dinah shore? who's alter-ego is dinah shore? oh, his fists did
O up so quickly this time. yawn...yawn..yawn. put those headphones on, it's be-bop time.

I want to tell you a story about the last time i was in portland. the night before we played at the long goodbye. i was walking on the street about 10:30 at night. a lot of people go to bed arou
Re at 10:30 at night. and well, i was walking along when suddenly these jocks in this bright blue pickup drove up. it had kc lights, tractor tires, everything but the cb. it was a life-size hot
S car for some dumb rich kid, right. well, they drove up to me and they yelled what dumb rich kids usually yell, "hey, faggot," and showered me with some water.

So, i stood there thinking, what a bunch of fuckheads and picked up a rock. now, i waited, walked down about a block to where the kentucky fried chicken is, on burnside, and sure enough they dro
Ound again. they said, "hey, faggot, where's the nearest mcdonald's?" i said, "i don't know" and they squirted me again. so i threw the rock and put a nice-size dent in their
T hot wheels car.

They screached to a halt in the parking lot of some department store, who's name i don't remember, it's up the street from fred meyer, and they got out their clubs and they ran after me, yelling
Ot;we're gonna kill you, you god damn faggot, we're gonna kill you, you motherfucker." so i got in a phonebooth by the kentucky fried chicken on burnside, held my legs straight out like thi
They couldn't open the door to the phonebooth.

So they began charging the phonebooth, beating on it with their club, yelling, "we're gonna kill you, you motherfucker, we're gonna kill you, you god damn faggot." i just looked at the
, there was a crowd gathering by this time and these kids were standing nearby and they said, "oh, look at him, he's insane." i thought, ah-hah, here's my way out. i yelled at them, &q
Ake me to a mental hospital right away. i wanna be be put away. please put me away, c'mon, call the cops and put me away. please put me away now." they said, "alright, faggot, we're ca
The police."

So they called the police. the cop comes out and i go, ah, my savior, i'm away from these jocks. he opens up the door, "get out of there, you," throws me up against the car, frisks me,
Es me in the back. then he goes over to the jocks, "now what happened here? it looks like we're going have to take him to jail but we got to have the full story first" so the jocks, wh
An ace in the hole, ace in the hole [take down on the bass, a little bit down on the bass. yeah], ace in the hole, and they go, "well, goddammit, the motherfucker put a dent in my truck, a
0 truck, right, so i got my club, i went out and i wanted to kill him.

I want to kill him. let me kill him, goddammit. let me kill him." so the cop made them go home, and he drove me home, and he confiscated their club and my rock as further evidence. and i th
, so this is oregon, huh? tolerent oregon?

Ray, are you done with your guitar yet? he isn't done yet. so what else do you want to hear, i'm out of stories. that's a true story, too. just ask bruce loose.