 Vol. 2-greatest Hits » The lyrics [+ Add +] |
1. _ Headline News
Once, there was this kid who
Took a trip to singapore and brought along his spray paint
And when he finally came back
He had cane marks all over his bottom
He said that it was from when
The warden whacked it so hard
Mmm mmm mmm mmm, mmm mmm mmm mmm
(*whip* sound) ahh
Once there was this girl who
Swore that one day she would be a figure skating champion
And when she finally made it
She saw some other girl who was better (*ding* sound)
And so she hired some guy to
Club her in the kneecap
Mmm mmm mmm mmm, mmm mmm mmm mmm
(*thwack* sound) ahh
Mmm mmm mmm mmm, mmm mmm mmm mmm
They got paid for their sound bites
And sold their tv movie rights
And then, there was this guy who
Made his wife so mad one night that she cut off his weiner
And when he finally came to
He found that mr. happy was missing
He couldn't quite explain it
It'd always just been there
Mmm mmm mmm mmm, mmm mmm mmm mmm
Mmm mmm mmm mmm, mmm mmm mmm mmm
Ahh ahh (there) ahh ahh (were), ahh ahh (there) ahh ahh (is)
Ahh ahh (there) ahh ahh (were), ahh ahh (there) ahh ahh (is)
Ahh ahh (there) ahh ahh (were), ahh ahh (there) ahh ahh (is)
Ahh ahh (there) ahh ahh (were), ahh ahh (there) ahh ahh (is)
(there were, there is)
(there were, there is)
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2. _ You Don't Love Me Anymore
We've been together for so very long
But now things are changing, oh i wonder what's wrong?
Seems you don't want me around
The passion is gone and the flame's died down
I guess i lost a little bit of self-esteem
That time that you made it with the whole hockey team
You used to think i was nice
Now you tell all your friends that i'm the antichrist
Oh, why did you disconnect the breaks in my car?
That kind of thing is hard to ignore
Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore
I knew that we were having problems when
You put those piranhas in my bathtub again
You're still the light of my life
Oh darling, i'm beggin', won't you put down that knife?
You know, i even think it's kinda cute the way
You poison my coffee just a little each day
I still remember the way that you laughed
When you pushed me down that elevator shaft
Oh, if you don't mind me asking, what's this poisonous cobra
Doing in my underwear drawer?
Sometime i get to thinking you don't love me any more
You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill
Now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will
You set my house on fire
You pulled out my chest hairs with an old pair of pliers
Oh, you think that i'm ugly and you say that i'm cheap
You shaved off my eyebrows while i was asleep
You drilled a hole in my head
Then you dumped me in a drainage ditch and left me for dead
Oh, you know this really isn't like you at all
You never acted this way before
Honey, something tells me you don't love me any more, oh no no
Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore
(approximately 10 minutes and 2 seconds of silence)
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3. _ Christmas At Ground Zero
It's christmas at ground zero
There's music in the air
The sleigh bells are ringing and the carolers are singing
While the air raid sirens blare
It's christmas at ground zero
The button has been pressed
The radio just let us know
That this is not a test
Everywhere the atom bombs are dropping
It's the end of all humanity
No more time for last-minute shopping
It's time to face your final destiny
It's christmas at ground zero
There's panic in the crowd
We can dodge debris while we trim the tree
Underneath the mushroom cloud
You might hear some reindeer on your rooftop
Or jack frost on your windowsill
But if someone's climbing down your chimney
You better load your gun and shoot to kill
It's christmas at ground zero
And if the radiation level's okay
I'll go out with you and see all the new
Mutations on new year's day
It's christmas at ground zero
Just seconds left to go
I'll duck and cover with my yuletide lover
Underneath the mistletoe
It's christmas at ground zero
Now the missiles are on their way
What a crazy fluke, we're gonna get nuked
On this jolly holiday
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4. _ Yoda
I met him in a swamp down in dagoba
Where it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated soda
S o d a, soda
I saw the little runt sitting there on a log
I asked him his name and in a raspy voice he said "yoda"
Y o d a, yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo yoda
Well, i've been around, but i ain't never seen
A guy who looks like a muppet, but he's wrinkled and green
Oh, my yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo yoda
Well, i'm not dumb, but i can't understand
How he can lift me in the air just by raising his hand
Oh, my yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda
Well, i left home just a week before
And i've never ever been a jedi before
But obi wan, he set me straight, of course
He said, "go to yoda and he'll show you the force"
Well i'm not the kind that would argue with ben
So it looks like i'm gonna start all over again
With my yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda
Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda
So i used the force
I picked up a box
I lifted some rocks
While i stood on my head
Well, i won't forget what yoda said
He said, "luke, stay away from the darker side
And if you start to go astray, let the force be your guide"
Oh, my yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo yoda
"i know darth vader's really got you annoyed
But remember, if you kill him, then you'll be unemployed"
Oh, my yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo yoda
Well, i heard my friends really got in a mess
So i'm gonna have to leave yoda, i guess
But i know that i'll be coming back some day
I'll be playing this part 'till i'm old and gray
The long-term contract that i had to sign
Says i'll be making these movies till the end of time
With my yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda
Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda
Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda
Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda
Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda
Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda
Yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda yo-yo-yo-yo yoda
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5. _ Uhf
Put down your remote control
Throw out your tv guide
Put away your jacket
There's no need to go outside
Don't you know that we control the horizontal
We control the verticle, too
We gonna make a couch potato out of you
That's what we gonna do now
Don't change the channel
Don't touch that dial
We got it all on uhf
Kick off your sneakers
Stick around for a while
We got it all on uhf
Don't worry 'bout your laundry
Forget about your job
Just crank up the volume
And yank off the knob
We got it all, we got it all, we got it all on uhf
Disconnect the phone and leave the dishes in the sink
You better put away your homework
Prime time ain't no time to think
All you do is make yourself a tv dinner
Press your face right up against the screen
We gonna show you thangs you ain't ever seen
If you know what i mean, now
Don't change the channel
Don't touch that dial
We got it all on uhf
Kick off your sneakers
Stick around for a while
We got it all on uhf
Don't worry 'bout your laundry
Forget about your job
Just crank up the volume
And yank off the knob
We got it all, we got it all, we got it all on uhf
You can watch us all day
You can watch us all night
You can watch us any time that you please
You can sit around and stare at the picture tube
'till your brain turns into cottage cheese
Well, now
Don't change the channel
Don't touch that dial
We got it all on uhf
Kick off your sneakers
Stick around for a while
We got it all on uhf
Don't worry 'bout your laundry
Forget about your job
Just crank up the volume
And yank off the knob
We got it all, we got it all, we got it all on uhf
We got it all on uhf (uhf)
We got it all on uhf (uhf)
We got it all on uhf (uhf)
We got it all on uhf (we got it all)
We got it all on uhf (uhf)
We got it all on uhf (uhf)
We got it all on uhf (uhf)
We got it all on uhf (we got it all)
We got it all (we got it all) on uhf (we got it)
(we got it) we got (we got it) it all (we got it) on uhf (we got it all)
We got it all on uhf (we got it all)
We got it all on uhf (uhf)
We got it all (we got it all) on uhf (on uhf)
We got it all on uhf
We got it all on uhf (uhf)
We got it all (we got it all) on uhf (we go it)
We got it all on uhf
We got it all on uhf
We got it all on uhf
We got it all on uhf (uhf)
We got it all on uhf (uhf)
We got it all on uhf
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6. _ Jurassic Park
I recall the time they found those fossilized mosquitoes
And before long, they were cloning dna
Now i'm being chased by some irate veloceraptors
Well, believe me... this has been one lousy day
Jurassic park is frightning in the dark
All the dinosaurs are running wild
Someone shut the fence off in the rain
I admit it's kinda eerie
But this proves my chaos theory
And i don't think i'll be coming back again
On no
I cannot approve of this attraction
'cause getting disemboweled always makes me kinda mad
A huge tyrannosaurus ate our lawer
Well, i suppose that proves... they're really not all bad
Jurassic park is frightning in the dark
All the dinosaurs are running wild
Someone let t. rex out of his pen
I'm afraid those things'll harm me
'cause they sure don't act like barney
And they think that i'm their dinner, not their friend
Oh no
Jurassic park is frightning in the dark
All the dinosaurs are running wild
What a crummy weekend this has been
Well, this sure ain't no e-ticket
Think i'll tell them where to stick it
'cause i'm never coming back this way again
Oh no... oh no
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7. _ Achy Breaky Song
You can torture me
With donnie & marie
You can play some barry manilow
Or you can play some schlock
Like new kids on the block
Or any village people song you know
Or play vanilla ice
Hey, you can play him twice
And you can play the bee gees any day
But mr. dj, please
I'm beggin' on my knees
I just can't take no more of billy ray
Don't play that song
That "achy breaky" song
The most annoying song i know
And if you play that song
That "achy breaky" song
I might blow up my radio, ooo...
You can clear the room
By playind debbie boon
Or crank your abba records until dawn
Oh, i can even hear
Slim whitman or zamfir
Don't mind a yoko ono marathon
Or play some tiffany
On 8-track or cd
Or scrape your fingernails across the board
Or tie me to a chair
And kick me down the stairs
Just please don't play that stupid song no more
Don't play that song
That "achy breaky" song
You know i hate that song a bunch
And if you play that song
That nauseating song
It might just make me lose my lunch, ooo...
Don't play that song
That "achy breaky" song
I think it's driving me insane
Oh, please don't play that song
That irritating song
I'd rather have a pitchfork in my brain...
Don't play that song
That "achy breaky" song
The most annoying song i know
And if you play that song
That "achy breaky" song
I might blow up my radio, ooo-woo...
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8. _ Smells Like Nirvana
What is this song all about?
Can't figure any lyrics out
How do the words to it go?
I wish you'd tell me, i don't know
Don't know, don't know, don't know, oh no
Don't know, don't know, don't know...
Now i'm mumblin' and i'm screamin'
And i don't know what i'm singin'
Crank the volume, ears are bleedin'
I still don't know what i'm singin'
We're so loud and incoherent
Boy, this oughta bug your parents
Yeah
It's unintel-ligible
I just can't get it through my skull
It's hard to bargle nawdle zouss(?)
With all these marbles in my mouth
Don't know, don't know, don't know, oh no
Don't know, don't know, don't know...
Well, we don't sound like madonna
Here we are now, we're nirvana
Sing distinctly? we don't wanna
Buy our album, we're nirvana
A garage band from seattle
Well, it sure beats raising cattle
Yeah
And i forgot the next verse
Oh well, i guess it pays to rehearse
The lyric sheet's so hard to find
What are the words? oh, nevermind
Don't know, don't know, don't know, oh no
Don't know, don't know, don't know...
Well, i'm yellin' and we're playin'
But i don't know what i'm sayin'
What's the message i'm conveyin'?
Can you tell me what i'm sayin'?
So have you got some idea?
Didn't think so -- well, i'll see ya
Sayonara, sayonara
Ayonawa, odinawa
Odinaya, yodinaya
Yaddayadda, yaaahyaaah
Ayaaaaaah!
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9. _ This Is The Life
I eat filet mignon seven times a day
My bathtub's filled with perrier
What can i say
This is the life
I buy a dozen cars when i'm in the mood
I hire somebody to chew my food
I'm an upwardly mobile dude
This is the life
They say that money corrupts you
But i can't really tell
I got the whole world at my feet
And i think it's pretty swell
I got women lined up outside my door
They've been waitin' there since the week before
Who could ask for more
This is the life
You're dead for a real long time
You just can't prevent it
So if money can't buy happiness
I guess i'll have to rent it
Yeah, every day i make the front page news
No time to pay my dues
I got a million pairs of shoes
This is the life
I got a solid gold cadillac
I make a fortune while i sleep
You can tell i'm a living legend
Not some ordinary creep
No way, i'm the boss, the big cheese
Yeah, i got this town on its knobby little knees
And i can do just what i please
This is the life
That's right, i'm the king, number one
I buy monographed kleenex by the ton
I pay the bills, i call the shots
I grease the palms, i buy the yachts
One thing i can guarantee
The best things in life, they sure ain't free
It's such a thrill just to be me
This is the life
Waah, this is the life
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10. _ Bedrock Anthem
Sometimes i feel
Like i need a vacation
Sometimes i feel
Like i wanna go
To the city of cavemen
The city of bedrock
I'd be a flinstone
Now i'll tell you why...
Well, i've got i've got a woman named wilma
Well, i've got i've got a baby named pebbles
Well, i've got i've got a doggy named dino
We do a little bowling and we drink a little vino
Well, i've got a little buddy, barney rubble
Got a neighbor by the name of barney rubble
He's a midget but he makes a lot of trouble
Doesn't like to shave, he got caveman stubble
Me and barney, loyal order water buffalo
Lodge brothers, loyal order water buffalo
There's a handshake everybody gotta know
How come grand poo-bah always gotta run the whole show?
Yabba dabba, yabba dabba dabba do now
Yabba dabba, yabba dabba dabba do now
Yabba dabba, yabba dabba dabba do now
I get by on all my prehistoric knowhow
Betty and barney got a baby named bamm-bamm
Little pebbles is his number one fan
He's the strongest toddler in the whole land
Tear your arm off if he shakes your hand
Got a car, gonna push it with my feel now
Gonna take my family out to eat now
Jumbo ribs at the drive-in can't be beat now
Made from brontosaurus, baby, not a moo-cow
Wanna chill with a sabretooth tiger
Wear a loincloth, natural fiber
Be the first rolling stone subscriber
Got a pterodactyl for a windshield wiper
Yabba dabba, yabba dabba dabba do now
Yabba dabba, yabba dabba dabba do now
Yabba dabba, yabba dabba dabba do now
Don't know what it means but i say it anyhow
Luck me, workin' down in the gravel put
Movin' rocks, on a big dinosaur i sit
Mr. slate gets mad and he throws a fit
Pull the birdie's tail, everybody knows it's time to quit
I realize i'm living in the stone age
No fax, no cellular phone-age
Pick my teeth with a dinosaur bone-age
Liftin' heavy boulders every day for my wage
Barney rubble, laughin' like a hyena
Barney rubble, what a little weiner
Where's wilma? anybody seen her?
Got a baby elephant vacuum cleaner
Yabba dabba, yabba dabba dabba do now
Yabba dabba, yabba dabba dabba do now
Yabba dabba, yabba dabba dabba do now
Yabba dabba, yabba dabba dabba do now
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11. _ Polka Your Eyes Out
Rock the cradle of love. rock the cradle of love
Yes, the cradle of love
Don't rock easy, it's true
Rock the cradle of love
I rocked the cradle of love
Yes, the cradle of love
Don't rock easy, it's true
Doo doo doo doo doo doodoo doo doo doo doo doo doo doodoo doo
(doo doo doo doo doo doodoo doo doo doo doo doo doo doodoo doo)
The love shack is a little old place where
We can get together
Love shack, baby
(love shack, baby, love shack)
Hey!
Pump up the jam (hey!). pump up the jam (hey!)
Pump up the jam, pump it up!
That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight, losing my religion
Trying to keep a view
And i don't know if i can to it
Oh no, i've said too much
I haven't said enough
The things you say
Your purple prose just gives you away
The things you say
You're unbelieveable
(oh!)
Do me, baby. do me, baby
You can do me in the morning, you can do me in the night
You can do me when you wanna do me
Yodalodaladyhoo!
Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
Off to never never land
The humpty dance is your chance to do the hump
Do me, baby
Do the humpty hump, do the humpty hump
Do me, baby
Do the humpty hump, come on and do the humpty hump
She's my cherry pie
Put a smile on your face ten miles wide
Look so good, make a grown man cry
Sweet cherry pie-yi-yi
Woo!
Drum solo!
I miss you so much (m-o-i miss you so much)
I really miss you much (m-i-s-s you so much)
I miss you so much (m-o-i miss you so much)
I really miss you much
Hey, i don't want anybody else
When i think about you i touch myself
Oh, i don't want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no no no
He's the one they call dr. feelgood
He's the one that makes you fell all right
He's the one they call dr. feelgood
He's gonna be your frankenstein
Let's kick it!
If you got a problem, (yo!) i'll solve it
Check out the beat while the dj revolves it
Ice ice baby
Ice ice baby... word to your mother!
Ice ice baby
Ice ice baby forever
I'll be your ife... ice... baby!
Hey!
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12. _ Money For Nothing/beverly Hillbillies
Beverly
Beverly hillbillies
Huh, now lookie here people
Listen to my story
A little story 'bout a man named jed
You know something?
That poor mountaineer
They say he barely kept his family fed
Now, let me tell you
One day he was shootin'
Old jed was shootin' at some food
When all of a sudden right up from the ground, there
Well, there came a bubblin' crude
Oil that is well, maybe you call it black gold or texas tea
He gonna move next to mr. drysdale and be a beverly hillbilly...
Before you know it, all the kinfolk are-a-sayin'
Yeah, buddie, move away from there
That little clampet got his own cement pond
That little clampet, he's a millionaire
Now, everyone said californie
Is the place that you oughta be
We got to load up this here truck now
We got to move to beverly
Hills, that is
Swimming pools
Move-a-move-a-movie stars
Huh
Lookit that, lookit that
Beverly beverly beverly hillbillies
Y'all come back now, y'hear?
Beverly beverly beverly hillbillies
Beverly beverly beverly hillbillies
Beverly beverly beverly hillbillies
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