Even Worse

Your butt is wide, well mine is too
Just watch your mouth or i'll sit on you
The word is out, better treat me right
'cause i'm the king of cellulite
Ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat, all right

My zippers bust, my buckles break
I'm too much man for you to take
The pavement cracks when i fall down
I've got more chins than chinatown

Well, i've never used a phone booth
And i've never seen my toes
When i'm goin' to the movies
I take up seven rows

Because i'm fat, i'm fat, come on
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know i'm fat, i'm fat, you know it
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know i'm fat, i'm fat, come on you know
(fat, fat, really really fat)
Don'tcha call me pudgy, portly or stout
Just now tell me once again who's fat

When i walk out to get my mail
It measures on the richter scale
Down at the beach i'm a lucky man
I'm the only one who gets a tan
If i have one more pie a la mode
I'm gonna need my own zip code

When you're only having seconds
I'm having twenty-thirds
When i go to get my shoes shined
I gotta take their word

Because i'm fat, i'm fat, sha mone
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know i'm fat, i'm fat, you know it
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know i'm fat, i'm fat, you know it you know
(fat, fat, really really fat)
And my shadow weighs forty-two pounds
Lemme tell you once again who's fat

If you see me comin' your way
Better give me plenty space
If i tell you that i'm hungry
Then won't you feed my face

Because i'm fat, i'm fat, come on
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know i'm fat, i'm fat, you know it
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know i'm fat, i'm fat, you know it, you know
(fat, fat, really really fat)
Woo woo woo, when i sit around the house
I really sit around the house

You know i'm fat, i'm fat, come on
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know i'm fat, i'm fat, you know it, you know it
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know, you know, you know, come on
(fat, fat, really really fat)
And you know all by myself i'm a crowd
Lemme tell you once again

You know i'm huge, i'm fat, you know it
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know i'm fat, you know, hoo
(fat, fat, really really fat)
You know i'm fat, i'm fat, you know it, you know
(fat, fat, really really fat)
And the whole world knows i'm fat and i'm proud
Just tell me once again who's fat

You make me wanna slam my head against the wall
You make me do the limbo
You make me wanna buy a slurpee at the mall
You make me watch the gong show
There's really something kinda strange about you, baby, but i can't exactly seem to put my finger on it

You make me
You make me
You make me
That's what you do to me

You make me wanna hide a weasel in my shorts
You make me wanna phone home
You make me wanna write a dozen book reports
Then pack myself in styrofoam
Sometimes you make me want to build a model of the eiffel tower out of belgian waffles

You make me
You make me
You make me
That's what you do to me

(you make me) that's what you do
(you make me) that's what you do
(you make me) that's what, what you do to me

You make me wanna hang out in a trailer park
Then take my hamster to the beach
You make me wanna do my laundry in the dark
And use a recommended bleach
When i'm with you i don't know whether i should study neurosurgery or go to see the care bears movie

You make me
You make me
You make me
That's what you do to me

(you make me) that's what you do
(you make me) that's what you do
(you make me) that's what, what you do to me

That's what you do to me
That's what you do to me
That's what you do to me
You make me wanna break the laws of time and space
You make me wanna eat pork
You make me wanna staple bagels to my face
Then remove 'em with a pitchfork
You know there's something quite unusual about you but i can't exactly seem to put my finger on it

You make me
You make me
You make me
That's what you do to me

(you make me) that's what you do
(you make me) that's what you do
(you make me) that's what, what you do to me

(you make me) that's what you do
(you make me) that's what you do
(you make me) that's what you do-do-do-do-do to me

(you make me) that's what you do
(you make me) that's what you do
(you make me) that's what you do to me

Yeah
Well, well, milton bradley's got a def one
It's a twister (twister, twister, twister)
Yeah, all the girls and homeboys
Playin' twister (twister, twister, twister!)
Spin the spinner and call the shot
Twister ties you up in a knot
That's twister
Yeah, twister

Check it
Right foot blue (right foot blue)
Left hand red (left hand red)
Left, right, yellow, blue, green
Yeah, twister

Now, everybody's chillin'
With the twister (twister)
Wherever things are illin'
You'll find twister (twister, twister!)
That's twister
Yeah, twister

Yeah buddy
You gotta get it
Yeah twister
From mb

My life, it used to be incomplete
¡®till i saw what i was looking for at a drive-in swap meet
My life it won't be the same again
Now i'm proud to say the king lives on inside my den

Oh, it's all i live for, it's all i need
My velvet elvis
My velvet elvis
My velvet elvis means the world to me

Although he may not be worth much dough
He means much more to me than some old rembrandt or van gogh
Check out those sideburns, there's nothing greater
You can tell that he's no velvet elvis imitator

Oh, it's all i live for, it's all i need
My velvet elvis
My velvet elvis
My velvet elvis
Oh, now you can't you see
My velvet elvis
My velvet elvis
My velvet elvis means the world to me

In my own private graceland
In my own little shrine to the king
I don't want nothin' else
No, i don't need anything
Don't need no lava lamp
Don't need no soap on a rope
No pictures of mexican kids with those really big eyes
Or dogs playing poker

When i'm at home watching my tv
I know the king is always looking down on me
He looks so handsome, he stands so tall
So glad he's big enough to cover up that hole in the wall

(velvet elvis) he's so fuzzy
(velvet elvis) he's so great
(velvet elvis) never ages
(velvet elvis) never puts on weight
(velvet elvis) look at those rhinestones
(velvet elvis) he's just so fine
(velvet elvis) you can look but don't touch now
(velvet elvis) 'cause he's mine all mine

This song is just six words long
This song is just six words long
This song is just six words long
This song is just six words long

Couldn't think of any lyrics
No i never wrote the lyrics
So i'll just sing any old lyrics
That come to mind, child

You really need words
Whole lotta rhyming words
You gotta rhyme so many words, mm-mm
To do it, to do it, to do it, to do it
To do it, to do it right, child

This song is just six words long
This song is just six words long
This song is just six words long
This song is just six words long

I know that you're probably sore
'cause i didn't write any more
I just didn't get to complete it
So that's why i gotta repeat it

This song is just six words long (six words long)
This song is just six words long (six words long)

Oh i make a lotta money
They pay me a ton of money
They're payin' me plenty of money
To sing this song, child

I gotta fill time
Three minutes worth of time
Oh, how will i fill so much time, mm-mm
I'll throw in a solo, a solo, a solo
A solo, a solo here

This song is just six words long
This song is just six words long
This song is just six words long
This song is just six words long

This song's got nothin' to say
But i'm recording it anyway
I know if i put my mind to it
I know i could find a good rhyme here

Oh, you gotta have-a music
You need really catchy music
This song has got plenty of music
But just six words, child

And so i'll sing' em over
And over and over and over
And over and over and over, mm-mm
And over and over and over
And over and over and over again

Six words long, six words long
Six words long, six words long
Six words long, six words long

This song is just six words long
It's just six words long

Doctor, every night i have the strangest dreams
Doctor, listen to me, tell me what this means
First i'm goin' shoppin' in my underwear
Then all of sudden i'm floating in mid air
My lips fall off and everybody starts to stare
Donuts and hot dogs are flying everywhere

Now doctor, wait a minute, you ain't heard nothin' yet
Next comes the part that i won't ever forget
Now i'm bein' followed by these russian spies
They give me some velcro, and an order of fries
Suddenly i'm bowling on the starship enterprise
I fall down a hole and that's when i realize

I am stuck in a closet with vanna white
I'm stuck in a closet with vanna white
Night after night after night after night

All right!

Doctor, won't you tell me, am i going insane
Was it something i ate or something wrong with my brain
See, i'm naked in church when i meet a dinosaur
Try to run, but my feet have been nailed to the floor
Then a midget pushes me through a revolving door
And i'm back in the very same place i was before

Now i'm stuck in a closet with vanna white
I'm stuck in a closet with vanna white
Night after night after night after night

And i can't bust out and i can't break free
And it's gettin' just a little too stuffy here for me
And i can't go home and i can't get loose
And i try to escape but it's just no use

And i can't ever leave and i can't ever win
And we're runnin' outta air and the walls are closin' in
And i can't go back and i can't get through
But vanna since you're here, why don't you let me buy a vowel from you

Come on vanna, come on!

Ow, buhhh

Doctor, all those crazy dreams have started again
That's right, i even wake up screaming now and then
See, i'm coming home from work but i forgot my address
I'm half an hour late for my algebra test
Then some slimy alien jumps out of my chest
And i'm falling and falling and i guess you know the rest

I am stuck in a closet with vanna white
I'm stuck in a closet with vanna white
Night after night after night after night

I am stuck in a closet with vanna white
Stuck in a closet with vanna white
N-n-n-night after night after night night night

Then i'm stuck in a closet with vanna white (ya-ya ya-ya, ya-ya, ya, ya-ya)
I'm stuck in a closet with vanna white
Night after night after night after night

I am stuck in a closet with vanna white (ya-ya ya-ya ya-ya ya-ya)
I am stuck in a closet with vanna white