1. _ Bleeding
deep inside the darkest night
is drinking in the light
from pinholes pricked
holy needles knicked
in a canopy of white
i'm alone i'm alone
and i'm beating my soul to make it bleed a drop of hope
then i'll drink it up in a golden cup and let it grow inside
and i fear that you've gone away
but you must be somewhere near
the fire fades so the deepest shades
slowly trickle down the wall
in a room i hide will i come outside
and have some kind of fall
all my words all my words
they have lost all their worth
nothing's good enough for anyone
and the look on my face
leaves a subtle trace of the change
that is to come
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2. _ Disconnected
these things which i so often wonder
this need to create myself
frustration forgotten through slumber
it's there when i wake
defeated before i rise
i'd pull myself out of his mire
if i could collect my strength
or muster an ounce of desire
finding the words and making them mine
is there somewhere
i could seperate this feeling from memory
disconnect myself from me
desire inside to mistreat you
it pushes words out of my mouth
this cyclical pattern i feed you
the back and forth and up and down
but still here you are
behind this veil of pious revelation
i'll close my eyes and look for worth inside
i don't deserve you
relinquishing hope for the future
i try not to hate it so
but you are a bridge to those memories
i try to forget if you only knew
is there somewhere to occupy emotion
a room to keep my rage away from you
just tell me when these hopeless days are over
i'll open my eyes and see my new sun rise
i don't deserve this
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3. _ The Garden
white ribbon
wedding gown
she walked into the garden
what has she found
oh sorrow
untold sorrow
there would be no groom
she left him as she
found him
empty inside
but this time it was
much too late
nothing to hide
oh her soul
never left the garden
black ribbon
long black gown
she's walking through
her memory
she's so alone
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4. _ Drifting
drifting away from you
spinning down to the pinpoint drop of isolation
in a spell
walking away from the fire
that keeps my heart
from turning ice
golden feet grace the surface of the sea
sinking deeper i view them from underneath
flailing kicking as i head for the deep
i question a hypothetical lead supper
oh god receive my outstretched hand
will i inhale the blue
spinning down upon the glass
a ghost towards realization of a cell
enclosing the hauntings of a past
that blind the eyes
and rust the heart
so i fell
i need you to take my hand
and keep my heart from ice
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5. _ I Can't Explain
i've wrapped myself up
in a universe again
and let the darkness quell
my matchflame confidence
and unwillingly i hide
the lever i must find
to release the deep
the tears withheld inside
but i can't explain
i can't make sense of the
things i'm saying
the crystal tears
are sliding down again
your moonlit cheeks
and soaking silken lips
if this pain is so real
there's a hand that someday must heal
and give us the words
that time steals and won't let us say
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6. _ Melting Alone
tonight the lamplight swirls and glistens
melting itself upon my face
i'm hanging my silhouette near the shoreline
i'm swimming underneath in the noontime
will i ever know what's wrong with me
will i ever see your hand again in mine
tonight the rain is pelting rooftops
there is no fire to melt the cold
i'm straining to hear a human whisper
and i'm painting images on the soft stone
now i'm drinking alone
amidst these figures of stone
i'll raise the glass once again
then lay my head on the pillow
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7. _ Angeltread
crickets rhythmically sing
their mournful melodies
a monotone by request
but they fail they fail
to soothe the mess
hands rhythmically grope
the sheets again for you
and off rhythm the time slows
to make moments eternal
moments eternal
is this some kind of holy test
to stitch the treadmarks off my chest
to get up and walk outside my head
on a holy search for angeltread
now i've lost my fear
so i pray that you come near
with a million sparkly lights
and help me help me through the night
the milky prints of spirits near
i pray that they have lost their fear
a million wisps of sparkly light
weaving through the walls
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8. _ Maybe Tomorrow
hey i am having a little trouble
again with myself
today i would label out of the ordinary
hey i read
the words to label him
said he strikes a tune mighty fine
but in living life that's where he finds
plenty of trouble
hey i am
a book inside your hands
will you turn the page and read the line
where i reach the end and rid my mind
of all this rubble
let me out
of this solitude
i want out
so i can be with you
let me out
i want to touch you
don't keep me here
hey i am
having a little trouble with myself
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9. _ Circle Of Error
i see the wonder setting in
over where i am going
and where i've been
and by the way when i kneel to pray
it never seems you're there
and i'll admit that i do not try
when it's easier to sit down and cry
i'm so full of doubt
want to let it out
let it out all over you
on my circle of error
i go round and round
on my circle of error
i go round and round again
i'm running things into the ground
all the truth i am seeking has not been found
and i am weak
all the words i speak
bring no passion anymore
and will i try for happiness
in the midst of all this emptiness
all i want is you
if i only knew
how to get up off this floor
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10. _ Thought Imenagerie
i only want what's mine
that's what i came to find
a little respect that's all
from you
because one has his natural right
but somehow that doesn't seem right
not when i look at myself
i was taken on a trip to see
a miniscule menagerie in my soul
where all the thoughts have escaped the cage
and vamp across the spiritual plain
it's like i said before
i've got the right to ignore
the ruin in my self
if it involves change
and so i lay it down
put my humanistic crown
on the shelf
i think i've changed my mind
i'd rather seek than find
the sorrow from you
i won't regret
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11. _ Within The Room Somewhere
i breathe the mist
floating about the stars
i can caress with velvet hands
i breathe the mist
floating within without
this pen between my fingers
messiah
i know you are there
within without me holding me
messiah
i know you are there
catching carrying this beautiful mess
escape the pain
within a room somewhere
escape the pain
so deep inside the soul
i have no key
no map to find
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12. _ Love Salvation The Fear Of Death
i'm staring straight into the face of hell
you're so close and you can't even tell
i'm so wrapped up inside
because i don't have much to love
horrified i feel from pits unseen
falling off my pedestal of plentiful deeds
as it crumbles down on top of me
i contemplate my lack of love
come and save my soul
before it's not too late
i'm not afraid to admit
how much i hate myself
all these gongs and cymbals ring inside my head
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This Beautiful Mess » Lyrics