Crack A Smile

I can't say i ain't been around
That i ain't done my time
Seems like this big old world
Has been one big shoe to shine

But i never ever took a dime
For what comes naturally
And if i never knew the truth
Well she'd be fine with me

One night she stayed over here
And left her little black book behind
Well that little black book ain't little no more
And it wasn't too hard too find

Chorus:
She'd leave me in this lonely room
The thought just made me sick
It's funny how the pieces fit
My baby gets around a bit
Yeah, my baby gets around a bit

Her pager would ring, it's a funny thing
She'd have to go right away
She always had a wad of cash
Much more than her job could pay

I'd ask her where she's going to
And this is what she'd say
"i gotta meet someone for an interview
He's only in town today"

Always a little bit overdressed
Much more than i thought he'd be
High heel shoes and day glow dress
Ain't seem strange to me

She'd leave me in this lonely room
While some stud got his sex
Just then the thought occurred to me
My baby gets around a bit
My baby gets around a bit
Oooh, my baby gets around a bit...

Solo

Took her to the local bar
Where i like to hang
Every guy that passed her by
They all seemed to know her name

They all called her by a different name
And one of them winked at me
Some guy named stan said "you're the man
I heard you get it for free"

She'd leave me in this lonely room
And the thought hit me like a brick
It's funny how the pieces fit
My baby gets around a bit
Ooooh, my baby gets around a bit
Ooooh, my baby gets around a bit
My baby gets around a bit

My baby gets around....
My baby..

I'm uneducated
My clothes outdated
I'm not politically correct

I still hate small talk
And fast cars and hard rock
Still adds up my?

I should be expressing
All my inner repression
I guess depression's now a cultural thing

My record company says
Blow my brains out my head
I make the cover of every magazine

Chorus:
Step inside my nightmare
Welcome to my trip
I cannot pretend and i will not defend
Why this good old boy's so tragically unhip

I still like bad girls
Who rock me hard in my world
Its monkey see and monkey do
When i'm ?

I got an old waterbed
I like to trip into the dead
I've keep a poster of kiss on my wall

I still curse, smoke, drink and toke
And make love in the back of my car

Chorus
Solo

I like that home grown
Mind blowing
You're bringing
R rolling

They see strange stalking
Mind stopping
Ass swinging
Street walking
Floozies

Chorus

(yeah, blues!)
I won't ask where you're going
If you don't ask where i've been
'cause if you're looking for an answer, babe
I wouldn't know where to begin.

I don't know what i want sometimes
But i sure know what i likes
You've got that thing about you
Gets me hot inside

If it makes no sense when i wrote this song
Cause half way through it you were turning me on

Chorus #1:
Lay me down
I just might be your kind
I'll show you a better way
We can do away the time
If you stop looking so hard
I think you just might find
I ain't finding it so bad
Might be the best thing you ever had

You know a little 'bout love and
I know a lot about hate
I believe you gotta make things happen
You believe in fate

But this won't be the first time that
We didn't see eye to eye
You may not be religious but i'll make you see god
If you give me a try

I know love can get me through it
If you give me that look we'll get down to it

Chorus #2:
Don't shoot me down
I'm not a social disease
You've got that thing about you
Bring a grown man to his knees
I'll teach you baby
'bout them birds and them bees
When you get around
And think about it ain't so bad
Might be the best thing you ever had
Best thing i ever had

Solo
Ah, give me some of that!

When i put out the dog
Ya get them old ghosts out of bed.....
I ain't looking for a little to say
Baby some place to lay my head

I'm the one to right your wrong
If you give me a chance and i'll turn you on

Chorus #1
Chorus #2

(laughing)
Jam blues man

There you lay
All by yourself
So please allow me
To introduce myself

I welcome you
To the house of sin
Open your mind
And let the games begin

I'm your lust
And i'm your greed
I'm every sick thought
That you ever done dreamed

Eaten your cake
Now you want some more
Mmm, where have i
Heard that before?

Chorus:
I am your
I am your
I'm just your sexual thing
I am your
I am your
I'm just your sexual
Ain't nothin' but a sexual
It's just a sexual thing

Lyin' there
You look so horny
Talk is cheap
And startin' to bore me

Hold me close
And tell me it feels so good
But damn, girl
You knew it would

Chorus
Solo

Glad to have met you
So pleased that you've come
But i must be movin' on
My work here is done

Best believe me you, child
The pleasure's been all mine
If you're in need, please do indeed
Call me anytime

Chorus

They've got you medicated
It's got you so frustrated

He caught you masturbatin'
You rather be fornicating

Well then you come with me
I'm gonna set you free

It's just a sexual
Ain't nothin' but a sexual
It's just a sexual thing

Talking:
What you've witnessed is a sexual fantasy
Please do not try these tricks at home

When i was a child staring at the tube
I saw sex, violence and death on the news
One day i saw the duke kill someone
Daddy said don't worry boy, they're just acting son

All i want is attention from somebody
Somebody pay attention to me
Like them actors i got no shame
I want my fifteen minutes of fame

Doin' as i see on my tv
Doin' as i see on my tv

Can i get on the news if i kill my wife?
Would you respect me more if i took my life?
I tried to act and my career just flopped
So i beat up my neighbors and i got on "cops"

All i want's a millions bucks from somebody
Somebody pay a million bucks to me

I could shoot and rape and kill
And buy me a house in beverly hills, please?

Doin' as i see on my tv
Doin' as i see on my tv

I'd even do a porno flick, like all them hollywood chicks
I'm doin' it as i see on my tv

Took my girl to rent a porno movie
I thought that it'd be kinda groovy
I thought that'd this impress my lover
And there she was right on the cover!

All i want is attention from somebody
Somebody pay attention to me
I'm a man i got no shame
I want my fifteen minutes of fame

Doin' as i see on my tv
Doin' as i see on my tv

Hell i'd even do a porno flick, like my hero rocky did

Doin' as i see on my tv

Whistling, gargling

Spoken: i am not aware!

Drop the bass!
(do you like that?)

Shipped out on of knees
Her old man thinks you're a social disease
Dog pissed on the floor left a stain
Your old lady's daddy driving you insane
She stopped taking the pill
Then left you sued you for a mil
You've got your problems, boy so damn great

Can't find a good wife can't find a good job
Can't find the keys to my car
I lost my dog i lost my brain
I lost my girl to a big movie star (whatever)

Now i'm standing at the crossroads trying to find my way home
But the truth is baby i'm so
Lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely
Sometimes i'd just

Chorus:
Like to jump in and get me some funky
When push comes to shove
You talk too much and way too rough
How 'bout we both shut up and let's make love

I'm home hangin', the walls bangin'
It's the neighbor next door
They're talking trashy or doing the nasty
They keep me up until four

So they keep on going more and more
I hear and said "lord, i'm half crazy"
I gotta get me some of that
In and out, and in and out,and in and out

Chorus

When the clothes start flying
There's no denying
Gonna get some funky
Good, good funky

Your blood starts pumpin'
Baby start somethin'
Here oh right here, right here baby
Oh give me a little bit of loving

Solo

It's all so simple
I'll bring the ripple
What's your state of mind?

How 'bout we drink, get drunk
<or bite into a big flesh pie???>

Chorus

Alt chorus
?????
?????
When push comes to shove
Skip your lip and all the politics
How 'bout we both shut up and let's make love

It would sound like this....
Stop!