Russell's

Listen up brothers and sisters, come here my desperate tale
I speak of our friends of nature, trapped in the dirt like a jail
Vegtables live in oppression, served on out tables each night
This killing of veggies is madness, i say we take up the fight
Salads are only for murderers, cole slaw's a fascist regime
Don't think that they don't have feelings, just cause a radish can't scream

I've heard the screams of the vegetables, watching their skins being peeled
Grated and steamed with no mercy.. how do you think that feels?
Carrot juice constitutes murder.. greenhouses prisons for slaves
It's time to stop all this gardening.. let's call a spade a spade.

I saw a man eating celery, so i beat him black and blue
If he ever touches a sprout again, i'll bite him clean in two
I'm a political prisoner, trapped in a windowless cage
'cause i stopped the slaughter of turnips, by killing five men in a rage
I told the judge when he sentenced me, this is my finest hour..
I'd kill those farmers again, just to save one more cauliflower

I've heard the screams of the vegetables, watching their skins being peeled
Grated and steamed with no mercy.. how do you think that feels?
Carrot juice constitutes murder.. greenhouses prisons for slaves
It's time to stop all this gardening.. let's call a spade a spade.

How low as people do we dare to stoop
Making our broccolis bleed in the soup
Untie your beans, uncage your tomatoes
Let potted plants free, don't mash that potato!

I've heard the screams of the vegetables, watching their skins being peeled
Grated and steamed with no mercy.. how do you think that feels?
Carrot juice constitutes murder.. greenhouses prisons for slaves
It's time to stop all this gardening.. let's call a spade a spade.
Is a spade is a spade is a spade is a... spade

We had a love that was so bright
I used to dream of her each night
And rush to her side every morning (whoooo!)
I had her all to myself
We never noticed anyone else
We didn't even hear the radio warning

Our love was no joke you know
It was the talk of downtown tokyo
We'll be happy forever, i promised her
But just as i proposed
Her feet were made to touch her nose..
As she was crushed by a japanese monster! (ahhh.. ahhh.. ahhh.. ahhhh!! godzilla!!)

Our love was so true
But now she's three-foot-two
And she used to be five-foot-eleven
Her death was unintentional
But now she's two-dimensional
My angel is truly in heaven.

She's the one i'd kiss and hug
Till she was crushed like a bug
I guess it's hard to
See a monster above you.

She said she'd save her heart for me
But now it's there for all to see
And her last words to me
Were "i.....arghhh!"

Our love was so true
But now she's three-foot-two
And she used to be five-foot-eleven
Her death was unintentional
But now she's two-dimensional
My angel is truly in heaven.

Take it, george!

She was young (so young)
And sweet (so sweet)
But now she's part (she's part)
Of the street (the street)
I want (so much)
To have her back (come back)
So i'll get a putty knife so i can scrape her from the crack.

Ewww.. you might need a wire brush.

Our love was so true
But now she's three-foot-two
And she used to be five-foot-eleven
Her death was unintentional
But now she's two-dimensional
My angel is truly in heaven.
My angel is truly in heaven..
My angel is truly in heaven!

Hi kids! welcome to the uncle bobo show! are you ready to sing? come on, let's go!
Billy and his family
Went on a holiday
They went down to florida
To laugh and dance and play
Bill went in for a swim
He didn't see the harm
But when he came back out again
He was short an arm!

'cause rippy the gator went chomp, chomp, chomp!
Rippy the gator went chomp, chomp, chomp!
Passing the time by ending children's lives
Down in the bottom of the swamp, swamp, swamp..

Billy and his father
Went out to play some catch
But billy missed the pass
Because his arm was unattached
The ball flew past his shoulder
And it rolled into the swamp
When he went wading after it
His leg became a stump!

'cause rippy the gator went chomp, chomp, chomp!
Rippy the gator went chomp, chomp, chomp!
Passing the time by ending children's lives
Down in the bottom of the swamp, swamp, swamp..

Billy and his father
Joined a three-legged race
They were tearing up the field
No one could keep the pace
But billy tripped and did a flip
And landed in the muck
He was running out of limbs
And also out of luck!

'cause rippy the gator went chomp, chomp, chomp!
Rippy the gator went chomp, chomp, chomp!
Passing the time by ending children's lives
Down in the bottom of the swamp, swamp, swamp..

Billy was all dirty
He really had to wash
But he couldn't use a towel
'cause his limbs had been gnawed off.
He went into the water
To get all clean and bright
But when he was finished
He was only half his height.

'cause rippy the gator went chomp, chomp, chomp!
Rippy the gator went chomp, chomp, chomp!
Passing the time by ending children's lives
Down in the bottom of the swamp, swamp, swamp..

Billy's father rolled his wheelchair
Up upon a hill
He wanted to take bill
Where he would not get killed
But he left him on a slope
And into a swamp he rolled
They dragged out his head
But there was nothing down below!

'cause rippy the gator went chomp, chomp, chomp!
Rippy the gator went chomp, chomp, chomp!
Passing the time by ending children's lives
Down in the bottom of the swamp, swamp, swamp..
Passing the time by ending children's lives
Down in the bottom of the swamp
(down in the swamp..)

The lord above,
Sent his only son
To spread the word of god
To everyone.

Jesus cured the lepers
And he healed the lame
But he left the bald men
With their pain...

Oh mighty lord
I've lost what i had
I've suffered the fate
Of my old dad.

I've looked in the hills
The valleys everywhere
But i cannot see
Why you took my hair.

I'm losing my hair (losing my hair)
I'm losing my hair (losing my hair)
What was on my head (above us all)
Is no longer there
When you see the light (ooooh)
It's my forehead's glare
Oh don't you care (hey you up there!)
That i'm losing my hair? (yeah, yeah)

I try to pray
And i try to grieve
I've tried the wig
And i've tried the weave.

I've tried the transplant
And i've tried the graft
But my hair
Is thinning fast.

Oh mighty lord
Why'd you take my hair?
Are you making a carpet
For heaven's stairs?

To warm the feet
Of the chosen souls?
But in the meantime
My head's getting cold.

I'm losing my hair (losing my hair)
I'm losing my hair (losing my hair)
What was on my head (above us all)
Is no longer there
When you see the light (ooooh)
It's my forehead's glare
Oh don't you care (hey you up there!)
That i'm losing my hair? (yeah, yeah)

We are your children
And we are blessed
But most of my hair
Is now on my chest.

In your own wisdom
You took it off my head
Why couldn't you just
Strike me blind instead?

Oh lord above
On judgement day
Will you forgive me
For my toupee?

And when i march
Through the gates of pearl
Can i have hair
In your afterworld?

I'm losing my hair (losing my hair)
I'm losing my hair (losing my hair)
What was on my head (above us all)
Is no longer there
When you see the light (ooooh)
It's my forehead's glare
Oh don't you care (hey you up there!)
That i'm losing my hair? (yeah, yeah)

Yeah! i'm losing my hair, i'm losing my hair. but i know a lot of people out there losing their hair too. and i know, every night you pray to god, don'tcha? (yeah.) yeah you do, don'tcha? you pr
God to give you more hair. you wake up the next morning, you go in that shower, you look in that drain! and there's your hair. it ain't on your head no more.
But, you know, maybe your call's just not getting through. god's a busy man, and, and a lot of people try to get him on the intergalactic telephone. but, but maybe, maybe if we all pray together
Ll get god's phone to wing (ring)! thank ya, so give me an amen! (amen.) amen! (amen.) come on, amen! (amen.) amen!
Oh yeah! the phone is ringing! the phone is ringing! god's picking it up, i think we might have woken him up, he might be a little bit grumpy. but it doesn't matter ?cause we're going to tell hi
T we want, aren't we? (yeah.) aren't we? (yeah.)

I need help for my scalp. (help for my scalp!)
Oh give me help for my scalp! (help for my scalp!)

Oh yeah! i feel the power, the power of the lord! it's in me! it's all around me! this man - this man has split ends on the end of his head! let those split ends be healed!

(follicle. miracle.
Follicle. miracle.)

Oh mighty lord
Up on your throne
I gotta know
Do you use a comb?

Is your hair wavy?
Is your hair blond?
Is it curly?
Or is it gone?

Is to be bald
To be the man?
?cause all the monks
Have heads that shine.

If that's your way
Then i don't care.
I'd sell my soul
To get more hair!

I'm losing my hair (losing my hair)
I'm losing my hair (losing my hair)
What was on my head (above us all)
Is no longer there
When you see the light (ooooh)
It's my forehead's glare
Oh don't you care (hey you up there!)
That i'm losing my hair? (yeah, yeah)

I'm losing my hair (losing my hair)
I'm losing my hair (losing my hair)
What was on my head (above us all)
Is no longer there
When you see the light (ooooh)
It's my forehead's glare
Oh don't you care (hey you up there!)
That i'm losing my hair? (yeah, yeah)

Oh don't you care?
Oh don't you care
That i'm losing my hair?

Transcribed by ellen and andrew kaye-cheveldayoff

I never much believed in reincarnation
Thought it was only people's imagination
But now i'm forced into some reconsideration
'cause something's happened to my cat
That deserves some explanation

William shakespeare's in my cat
My kitty is the bard
He used to be a playwright
Now he's digging up the yard
He's still a cat in most respects
He likes to meow and purr
But now i introduce him as the cat
That wrote richard the third

I took him to see phantom
He said it was quite nice
But he can't go see miss saigon
Until he kills some mice
(until he kills some mice)

William shakespeare's in my cat
It sometimes seems so deep
The guy who wrote twelfth night
Chews on my socks while i'm asleep
I'm really quite impressed
I own the cat who wrote macbeth
But if something's rotten in this state
It's just his fishy breath

'cause he wrote romeo and juliet
But his greatest story yet
Is coming back as someone's pet
And gettin' neutered by the vet
He got his paws caught in a net
Then he said to be or not to meeeow!

William shakespeare's in my cat
He rarely ever talks
He makes his loudest statements
Standing in the litter box
He sleeps on all my shelves
And throws my books about the house
It doesn't sound like prose
When he bats his squeaky mouse

Sam beckett's plays are witty,
Same thing for bernard shaw,
Oscar wilde is pretty,
But none of them have paws
(none of them have paws)

William shakespeare's in my cat
He chases bits of fluff
John milton's in my goldfish
But i never liked his stuff
I'm thinking that franz kafka
Really came back as a bug
And i hope andrew lloyd webber
Will stay underneath my rug

'cause he wrote romeo and juliet
But his greatest story yet
Is coming back as someone's pet
And gettin' neutered by the vet
He got his paws caught in a net
Then he said to be or not to meeeow!

Take it, trevor!
(trevor's solo on what sounds like a jew's-harp-style instrument)

He wrote romeo and juliet
But his greatest story yet
Is coming back as someone's pet
And gettin' neutered by the vet
He got his paws caught in a net
Then he said to be or not to meeeow!