Pump Up The Valuum

She gotta silicone cock sticking in her ass and one in her cunt
A butterfly vibrator straped tight to her clit
But who's got the remote control
That would belong to louise
She's got a new pet a real vaginal tease
You know that mommy's little is not gonna do
As she please
If she don't want to get a spankin
She like to sing like a six year old brat
Mommy discipline me cause you know i've been bad
Start with cat then she'll move to a crop
Neither one is willing to stop
She knows that girls just wanna have fun
With four piercing on each side of her libia
A little luggage lock connecting each one
Prevents her girl from going astray
Slut you think you've seen your master mean
You better lick my puss and asshole clean
Treat my clit like bubllegum
Bitch make me come
It's time for bed she'll secure her head
Between her thighs for a thorogh night suck
Along whiththis she'll be driking her piss
So louise don't have to get up
Two goodnesses in love
One resides below one reigns from above
One adorns cuffs while one covets keys
The purgatorial touch of louise

Light the match burn the flower
Leave behind all the wrong why be
Sad when happiness can be bought for
A little more than free modern
Day prohibition are we men, are
We children at what age can i
Choose how to live the only real
Drug problem is scoring real
Good drugs havent we lerned our leson
The corner store has the finess scotch
But who's get uncut powder we
Just want what is ours dignity
If god created plants and buds
That i find and abuse then
Who the fuck are you to juge me?

Got a no string guitar, got a
Sunn beta head, i'm a rock & roll
Star, i aint no musician some things
Stranger than fishin, got a
Beat on a drum no how to sing
Outta key got some illegal drugs
I aint no musician some things
Are weird i know what i am
Weigh out another gram
Some of us have all the luck
No matter how much we fucking suck

Give her a call for demorol and amal nitrate
I tell her dad don't worry sir we wont stay out late
I'm in love with her, the pharmacist's daugter
She's got my love, i got her drugs
Waking up in the afternoon can't wait to see her
Brigin in some colopin, i'm huffin ether
She's the one for me, without personality, i still want to see her everyday
We got a date and i can't wait to see my baby
If i wine and dine her she just might sedate me
She's so beatiful, she keeps my prescriptions full
She's got my love i get her drugs
Looks like i've gone and bought the pharmacy

We're professional punkers, we come from the suburbs
After 15 years we're still having fun
Now we're over 30, not looking so purty
At least we got a beat up accordian

That's Erik our drummer, his father's a plumber
He drank enough booze to get Rhode Island drunk
Now sober but smelly, he's got one big belly
From living the good life provided by punk

Singin', singin', singin'...

Buy me a Beck's beer or pass me a bong
Gimme some bushmills I'll sing you this song
Open another big box of cheap wine
We're over 30, we're doin' just fine

Hefe's not satanic, he's one hip Hispanic
He grew up with one dozen cousins and kin
He wears baggy pants, he knows how to break dance
You've seen him do every impersonation

{Well, blow me down, Olive!
Heavens to Murgatroyd, it's Eric Melvin, even! Father!}

That's Melvin on six string - "So tell me I can't sing"
Oh I think you can, just don't do it 'round me
Stick with what you know, playing guitar solo
With Hetson and Watt in punk karaoke

Singin', singin', singin'...

Buy me a Beck's beer or pass me a bong
Give me some bushmills I'll sing you this song
Open another big box of cheap wine
We're over 30 we're doin' just fine

My name is Fat Mike, I'm obsessed with big lesbians
I've been a punk rocker for most of my life
I sing kinda flat, I'm not really so fat
But that's how I hit 'em, with hook or with slice

"I'm Kent I do sounds", look he's getting so round
"I'm Timmy The turtle", he counts and he clicks
"I'm gay... I don't care", someone please cut his hair
"I'm Limo from Scotland, so give me haggis"

Singin'...
Singin'...
Singin'...

Buy me a Beck's beer or pass me a bong
Gimme some bushmills I'll sing you this song
Open another big box of cheap wine
We're over 30 we're doin' just fine

Buy me a Beck's beer or pass me a bong
Gimme some bushmills, I'll sing you this song
Bum me a qualude or chop me a lime
We're pushin' 40 we're doin' just fine

{Buy me Newcastle, or pass me a bong
Gimme Glenlivet, I'll sing you this song
Open another big box of cheap wine
If you take the low road, then I'll take the high}

birds are dumb cause small bird brain
But so are kids and old people
Some birds talk most other sing
I don't see you eating a talking bird
Pigs smell bad they roll in pooh
But so do kids and elderly
I don't see you chop off an old man's feet
Put them in a mason jar and pickle them
No chowder for you, cause clams have feelings too
Actualy they don't have central nervousness
No manhatten style, clams have the right to smile
Come to think about it they don't have a face
They have no face, no place for ears
There's no clam eyes to cry clam tears
No spinal cord, they must get bored
Might as well just put them out of misery
I don't believe it's selfish to eat defenseless shellfish
No chowder for you clams have feelings too
It could happen to you, clams have feelings too
I don't think they do, clams have feelings too