Volume 8: The Threat Is Real

Don't want a life like my parents had
Don't want a life like my rich friends have
Don't want to live by association
Don't want to live the great maybe
I want a life not a name online
I want to live it in real time
I want a life just so i can be
I never asked what was in it for me

Stealing from a thief
My humanity
I know my name, i know my pain
I know my frequency
Dancing with the beast

As a kid i'd play make believe
As a man i play make believe
As a kid i'd do anything
As a man i do everything

I live my life centered and humane
I live my life like a man insane

I get up, i get up and go
I grab a hold and reach way down
To find something that i really believe
I don't need to console myself
If i don't like what i see

I really need a cup of coffee
Go get me a cupajoe
Cupajoe
Black and strong

Swimming on the surface
It's a hell of a lot safer up here
Ain't prepared to dive
And uncover all my darkest fears
This ain't no covert operation
I don't have that much concentration
Staring at the clock
And my patience is wearing thin
One more down the gullet
Keeps me from jumping out of my skin
I'm lost in the fog of contradiction
I toast to the extras
I drink to them 'cause they don't talk to much
They fill up space and entertain
And when i cut 'em loose they don't make a fuss
They all add up to zero in my life
They're just here to cure boredom for the night
Now sometimes all this leaves me feeling hallow
That's when i take refuge with my pillow
I'm not even ready for confession
That's right

Here comes the biggest asshole
That the whole world has ever seen
Watch as things turn to something
I never meant to be
Call it a side effect of my arrested development
Here with you i'm trapped, out of my element
I tear through all this wreckage
You left when you dropped the bomb
Is there something worth saving
Or do i act like nothing's wrong
The lesser of two equals gives me nothing at all
Lust and madness murder and mayhem
My whole life's been about playing
It's so surreal
Maybe that's why i touch but can't feel
Sittin' pretty as i sit up straight
Trying to find means to an end
I move into harms way
I see my face in the mirror
I feel my feet but i can't seem to walk in my shoes
When it hurts i feel closer to you
Closer than you ever knew
And the bottom line is knowing
I will die and the worms will eat me
The bottom line is knowing
Ain't no one else i can be
Running steady, smile on my face

Can't stop eating, she's so fat
604 katrina

It was a day to remember, twice as hard as long
That was the day that i convinced myself
That i found my god
I tip my cap and i step up
I fix myself to the right
I move right into the firing zone
And scream drink, fuck or fight
It's just a matter of respect
Or is that something i missed
This ain't no peace train that you're jumping on
So shake my hand and shake it strong
And everybody come along
Long, strong (am i)
Sometimes i can't stop the shaking
At least i know i'm not dead
I don't remember whose blood this is
I've got a hammer inside my head
I get put up, i get put down
And i don't even try
I've burned a bridge, i've burned a whole town
'cause i'm motherfucking fortified
I tell the truth or just a gilded lie
And then i charge like a bull with his balls tied
A heavy dose of reality
With a side of piss and vinegar
A free drink at the bar and you'll take it
A swift kick in the ass and you'll take it

inside out

I thought i knew what provacation was
I've eaten from the insane root that imprisons reason
It's in my stomach like fire, like cancer,like knife i've been gunshot
I gotta let it go, yeah
It's in my stomach like fire
It's in my stomach like cancer
It's in my stomach like a knife, i've been gunshot
Goddamn no where place to be
Dying deep inside of me
Always standing on the inside looking out
Can't break a hear so strong with pride
It's more than just being alive
I broke the rule with you i'm out

My only antidote to mental suffering is physical pain
It's in my stomach like fire, like cancer,like knife i've been gunshot
I gotta let it go, yeah
It's in my stomach like fire
It's in my stomach like cancer
It's in my stomach like a knife, i've been gunshot
Goddamn no where place to be
I gotta let it go, yeah
Goddamn no where place to be
Dying deep inside of me
Always standing on the inside looking out
Can't break a hear so strong with pride
It's more than just being alive
I broke the rule with you i'm out

Give it up, got to give it up i said
Man you're already dead
You got no reason for hanging around
Except for a beatdown
Say what you wanna say
Take it down, break it down
I'm the sum of it's parts
Kicked around like a hound
Never give it much thought
Good lord, i always meant i to be so fucking heavy
I give the horns to you who saved me
I give the horns to you who told me to
Change my way of life out of one into another
Yeah you heard me everyday i thank my mother
(on the day i fought your mother)
(i said)
Give it up, got to give it up it's my space
Then you spit it my face
Good luck, it don't mean nothing to me
Look where it's coming from
A time to kill, a time to die
I sign the horns and make it mine
Is everything i say a lie
Do i exist in my perfect crime
Another shot, i take it well
My so called perfect life in hell and
Sometimes i just need to fucking yell