The Lambeth Walk Musical

Lambeth you've never seen,
The skies ain't blue, the grass ain't green.
It hasn't got the Mayfair touch,
But that don't matter very much.
We play the Lambeth way,
Not like you but a bit more gay
And when we have a bit of fun
Oh, Boy.

Anytime you're Lambeth way
Any evening, any day,
You'll find us all doin' the Lambeth walk.

Ev'ry little Lambeth gal
With her little Lambeth pal,
You'll find 'em all doin' the Lambeth walk.

Ev'rything's free and easy,
Do as you darn well pleasey,
Why don't you make your way there,
Go there, stay there,

Once you get down Lambeth way,
Ev'ry evening, ev'ry day,
You'll find yourself doin' the Lambeth walk.

Anytime you're Lambeth way
Any evening, any day,
You'll find us all doin' the Lambeth walk.

Ev'ry little Lambeth gal
With her little Lambeth pal,
You'll find 'em all doin' the Lambeth walk.

Ev'rything's free and easy,
Do as you darn well pleasey,
Why don't you make your way there,
Go there, stay there,

Once you get down Lambeth way,
Ev'ry evening, ev'ry day,
You'll find yourself doin' the Lambeth walk.

Anytime you're Lambeth way
Any evening, any day,
You'll find us all doin' the Lambeth walk.

Ev'ry little Lambeth gal
With her little Lambeth pal,
You'll find 'em all doin' the Lambeth walk.

Ev'rything's free and easy,
Do as you darn well pleasey,
Why don't you make your way there,
Go there, stay there,

Once you get down Lambeth way,
Ev'ry evening, ev'ry day,
You'll find yourself
Doin' the Lambeth-
Doin' the Lambeth-
Doin' the Lambeth walk!

Leaning on a lamp,
Maybe you think I look a tramp,
Or you may think I'm hanging 'round to steal a car.
But no, I'm not a crook,
And if you think that's what I look,
I'll tell you why I'm here
And what my motives are.

I'm leaning on a lamppost at the corner of the street,
In case a certain little lady comes by
Oh me, oh my,
I hope the little lady comes by.
I don't know if she'll get away,
She doesn't always get away,
But anyway I know that she'll try.
Oh me, oh my,
I hope the little lady comes by.

There's no other girl I could wait for,
But this one I'd break any date for,
She'd never leave me flat,
She's not a girl like that,
She's absolutely wonderful
And marvelous and beautiful,
And anyone can understand why
I'm leaning on a lamppost at the corner of the street,
In case a certain little lady comes by.

There's no other girl I could wait for,
But this one I'd break any date for,
She'd never leave me flat,
She's not a girl like that,
She's absolutely wonderful
And marvelous and beautiful,
And anyone can understand why
I'm leaning on a lamppost at the corner of the street,
In case a certain little lady comes by.

As the Family Solicitor
As the Family Solicitor
As the Family Solici -
Here's my advice to you.
Here's my advice to you,

As the Family Solicitor -
As the Family Solicitor
Duchess:

Here's what you ought to do,
[spoken]

For six and eight
Yes thank you Parchester, that will do.
I'll put you straight

If anything goes wrong

For I contend you must pretend
That life is one sweet song.

So, sing a little and dance a little,
Be gay a little and play a little,
Bring your troubles more and more
To the Family Solicitor.
Say a little and think a little
And eat a little and drink a little,
Keep a drop of the 'ninety-four'
For the Family Solicitor!

He'll take all your cases,
Keep you in your places,
Maybe save your faces,
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Hop a little and skip a little
And jump a little, let rip a little.
Thank your lucky stars once more
For the Family, the Family,
The Family Solicitor.

He'll take all our cases,
Keep us in our places.
Maybe save our faces!
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Sing a little and dance a little,
Be gay a little and play a little,
Bring your troubles more and more
To the Family Solicitor!

Say a little and think a little
And eat a little and drink a little,
Keep a drop of the 'ninety-four'
For the Family Solicitor!

He'll take all your cases,
Keep you in your places,
Maybe save your faces,
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Hop a little and skip a little
And jump a little, let rip a little.
Thank your lucky stars once more
For the Family Solicitor.

Hop a little and skip a little
And jump a little, let rip a little.
Thank your lucky stars once more
For the Family Solicitor.

Hop a little and skip a little
And jump a little, let rip a little.
Thank your lucky stars once more
For the Family (Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!)
The Family (Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!)
For the Family Solici(tor.)

The Family Solicitor,
The Family Solicitor,
The Family Solicitor.

The Family Solicitor.

How I've looked for someone who
Plays up on my heart like you
Tall and dark and handsome and sweet
Someone who would take my heart
Maybe tear my soul apart
See I lay myself at your feet

You would, if you could
You would, and you should
And you would if you could
But I can't!

I'm sure that you can
I know you're a man
And you would if you could
But I shan't!

When you're a bad boy
You go my way
But you're a good boy
And so you say regretfully
You would, if you could
You could, and you should
And you would if you could
Oh it's impossible!

You would, if you could
You would, and you should
And you would if you could
But I don't!
Oh I'm sure that you'd do
Just look at the view
And you would if you could
But I won't!

You're like an apple
On top of the tree
I'd like to shake you
I'd like to see you
Falling for me.

You would, if you could
You could, and you should
And you would if you could-
Oh, Bill,
Oh I wish you would...

The story of Hareford handed down
Since William the Norman wore the crown.
The story of Hareford through the ages
Tells of honour and glory on all its pages.

Noblesse oblige (Noblesse oblige)
Noblesse oblige (Noblesse oblige)
Noblesse oblige (Noblesse oblige)

Men of Hareford, the ages tell,
Knew their duty and did it well.
Cherished the proud Hareford story,
Lived and died still adding to its glory.

Hareford stands where Hareford stood
Thanks to men of Hareford blood.
Let it go on that way, I pray that it may,
To the men of Hareford of today.

Men of Hareford, the ages tell,
Knew their duty and did it well.
Cherished the proud Hareford story,
Lived and died still adding to its glory.

Hareford stands where Hareford stood
Thanks to men of Hareford blood.
Let it go on that way, we pray that it may,
To the men of Hareford of today.

Noblesse oblige (Noblesse oblige)
Noblesse oblige (Noblesse oblige)
Noblesse oblige (Noblesse oblige)

(following two verses sung in counterpoint)

Men of Hareford, the ages tell,
Knew their duty and did it well.
Cherished the proud Hareford story,
Lived and died still adding to its glory.
Hareford stands where Hareford stood
Thanks to men of Hareford blood.
Let it go on that way, we pray that it may,
To the men of Hareford of today.

Men of Hareford knew their duty well.
Proud Harefords live and died in glory.
Hareford stands thanks to men of Hareford blood.
Let it go on, we pray that it may,
To the men of Hareford of today, the men of Hareford of today.

Once you lose your heart,
Once you lose your heart,
Once somebody takes it,
Once somebody takes it from the place it rested in before.
From the place it rested in before.
Once you lose your heart,
Once you lose your heart,
Once somebody wakes it then it isn't your heart anymore.
Once somebody wakes it,
It's gone before you knew it could ever go that way
Then it isn't your heart anymore.
And now you must persue it for ever and a day.
It's gone before you knew
Once you lose your heart,
It could ever go that way,
Once somebody takes it there's one thing certain from the start,
And now you must pursue it forever and a da-ay.
You'll find forever you've got to follow your heart.


Once you lose your heart,

Once somebody takes it,
There's one thing certain from the start,
You'll find forever,
You've got to follow your heart.

It's gone before you knew
It could ever go that way,
And now you must pursue it forever and a da-ay.

Once you lose your heart,
Once somebody takes it,
There's one thing certain from the start,
You'll find forever,
You've got to follow your heart.

They say a girl should never be without love,
And all the joy that love alone can bring.
All that I have ever learnt about love,
Tells me it's a very funny thing.
For when your heart is fancy free,
You hope some men will choose it,
But on the spin you find you're in,
The very moment that you lose it.
There's one thing certain from the start
You've got to follow,
You've got to follow your heart.

Once my father said
And my mother said
And my sister said
And my brother said
Now you're growing up
Soon you're gonna fall out
Of the family roundabout.

Then my father said
And my mother said
And my sister said
And my brother said
There's one little thing
You should certainly know
When into the world you go.
Take your troubles on the chin
And though you get an earful!
Don't despair or tear your hair,
For heaven's sake be cheerful!

That's what father said,
That's what mother said,
That's what sister said,
That's what brother said.
They were certainly right in telling me so
And I think that you should know!

Here's a little trick,
Whenever things get a little bit thick
Just you take it on the chin,
Put on a little grin and smile, smile!
Here's a little ruse
To counteract an attack of the blues,
Just you take it on the chin,
Turn on a little grin and smile!

What's the use of worr'ing
'Bout a single blessed thing,
After all it's done and said,
Pretty soon we all be dead!
So as we're alive,
If there's a bother you want to survive,
Just you take it on the chin,
Cultivate a little grin and smile!

Here's a little trick,
Whenever things get a little bit thick
Just you take it on the chin,
Put on a little grin and smile, smile!
Here's a little ruse
To counteract an attack of the blues,
Just you take it on the chin,
Turn on a little grin and smile!

What's the use of worr'ing
'Bout a single blessed thing,
After all it's done and said,
Pretty soon we all be dead!
So as we're alive,
If there's a bother you want to survive,
Just you take it on the chin,
Cultivate a little grin,
Just you take it on the chin,
Cultivate a little grin and
Smile, smile, smile!

When "Me and My Girl" originally opened in February 1986, it had the
song "If Only You'd Cared For Me" at the end after "Leaning On A
Lamppost". However, by the time that it had opened up on Broadway
as well, the song had been cut and a new one ("Hold My Hand") added.
Noel Gay had a vast collection of songs and when putting the revival
together they shoved in some Noel Gay songs to pad it out.


We were so much together, in the days that used to be.
When both of us were young and fairly fancy free.

I fancied in the marriage stakes, I knew a certainty.
That I'd be Mister You, and you be Misses Me!

Since you and I first met, my dear
A lot of time has flown.
It might have flown so differently,
If we had only known.
To me you used to be the only onion in the stew.
But you could never care me,
The way that I cared for you.

You were a gay lethario.
You nearly turned my head
I'd say today, a lot of guilt's
Worn off the gingerbread
But one among the crowd is what I never cared to be
So I could never care for you,
The way that you cared for me.

Oh! To think what might have been,
Oh! The things we might have seen.

You've seen plenty, I guess.

Ha! And so have you!

Well more or less.
Here we are today condemned to lead a lonely life

Squabbling as we do, we might as well be man and wife.

We're not so young, but not too old.
To make one up to two.

If only you could care for me, as much as I cared for you.

We mightn't care for married life,
Perhaps we're not that sort.
We're getting old and crusty.

Makes me think of vintage port.
I wouldn't mind decanting one, and even one for you.
If only you could care for one....
As much as I'd care for two!

I rather think a glass of port is maybe not for me.

Relax my dear, and have a glass,
It's much more fun than tea.

I've never risked a glass of port since nineteen-twenty-two.
It doesn't seem to care for me, as much as it cares for you.

Ha! A drink would put you right!

Ha! Ha! Do you really think it might?

Best thing under the sun.

Oh! Very well, but only one.
Seek the butler's pantry and purloin the cellar key.

Then we'll pour one down the hatch,
And maybe two or three!

We'll drink a toast to all the things,
We've had no chance to do.
Because you never cared for me,
As much as I cared....
For you!