Ugly (metal case)

If I knew what to do I'd do it.
If I knew where to go I'd get there someday.
If I knew where to fly I'd fly away, forget about life for a while.
But it never is that easy to just pick up and go and do as you're told like.
'cause life never works out that way.
If it were true the skies would be full everyday.

If I knew how to fly, I'd fly away.
If I knew how to fly, I'd fly away.
If I knew how to fly, I knew how to fly away.

Well I'm lost at 22 and I've got no fucking clue.
No I don't know if things will work out right.
I'm lost and confused.
I'm lost at 22 and I don't know if my life's gonna end up right.
'cause they keep on telling me that I'm young, dumb and naive.
But that's just what they want me to believe.

Well I'd rather be lost at sea than become part of this society.
Where the grass is always green and the air is always clean.
At least that's what they want me to believe.
At least that's what they want me to believe.

I'm lost at 22.
I'm lost at 22.
I'm lost.

Have you ever woke up screaming?
Have you ever woken alone?
When the walls around you won't stop laughing
Where do you go?
Sweat seeps in your eyes at night
And you realize
That no one understands you at all
Well I was bound to have a nervous breakdown
Should've seen it coming from miles away
So I packed my bags and started running
My brain's been shaking since yesterday
But there's only so far you can run boy
There's only so far to leave your problems behind
'cause when the problem's yourself you start thinking
No matter how far
You'll never leave it behind
No one understands me at all
Now I'm 22 with still no clue
Of who I am or what I'm supposed to be
I know it to you it sounds funny
You've got it worked out like it's a fuckin' disease
Started asking myself do I fit in?
Where I belong
Could this really be me?
Been feeling downright ugly
Tell me is this the way it's supposed to be?
So what's the difference?
You're doing fine
The clock keeps ticking as you lose your mind
The one you need to call you
Never calls
Sweat seeps in your eyes at night
And you realize
That no one understands you at all

I know my days are numbered.
I've been in and out of this phase.
But these days keep passing me by.
Good (god) never comes my way.
Try to sit back and relax.
Try and think of something good.
Something else and something pure.
I can't but I know I should.

Things I should have said.
Things that I regret.
And I regret.

No more waiting for something better to come along.
It's much easier to change me than it's to change them all.
Things I should have said and things that I regret.
I need to shed all my skin and start again.

Things I should have said.
Things that I regret.
And I regret.

And every turn I make is wrong.
I haven't smiled in so long.

Shed my skin and start again.
Shed my skin and start again.

The memories that I once had,
of all the good good good good times we all used to have.

Shed my skin and start again
Shed my skin and start again

I wonder how it would be if my mother was still around
The types of talk
The relationships we could have had
The three of us
Me, you and Dad
My mouth went dry
My stomach felt queasy too
So empty and scared
It's all because of you
A dead body that turned out not to be dead
No one understands
Wish I really knew what happened to my mom
Because my family they told me nothing but lies
They figured if they just told me the truth
I'd break down and cry
Feel betrayed and hurt
Profoundly insecure
Want to knock ten times on heaven's door
Still suffering from old emotional wounds
I was getting worse
Can't depend on them and their lies
Why did see leave?
How did she die?
And when it gets colder outside
I'll be back next year
With that feeling to make me cry
Wanna go visit her grave
Because it's been a long, long time
Want to pick a peach rose
And rest it on its side
Say a prayer eventhough I don't believe
And say goodbye
Don't get me wrong
I have a mind to keep me strong
But there's this feeling of not knowing what went wrong
And how she's dead and gone
Don't think anyone thinks
Of you as much as I do

Why do I feel so alone in a crowd of people I know
Is it wrong to feel so insecure so unappealing?
Why walk around in disguise with a fake grin on my face?
What would it prove?
What would I gain?
I'd still feel so out of place
Damned if I do
Damned if I don't
But I won't turn out like you
Midlife crisis at the age of 22
Who knew?
I need some answers
Cross the street and down the avenue
I stopped for the woman
Paid five bucks and got my palm read
And she said
You shouldn't be smiling boy
This life line says you're allready dead
Just keep on moving forward never turning back
But with every step ahead I take they pull me two steps back
They pull me two steps back

The most comfortable place isn't comfortable anymore
I feel so out of place
No one knows me for sure
I have this guilty conscience
And made an effort not to be me
I feel like a certain somebody
But I know I can be me

Too many people try to put me down
not accept me for me
I was insulted the other night
..... it's not me

...

I try to sing my songs
But I have trouble with that too

The hardest thing to imagine
is what comes next
Don't have strength don't have courage
When you're lacking confidence

I won't let this feeling end
'cause it might not come again

... and you know it's not you

I try to sing my songs
But I have trouble with that too

The most comfortable place isn't comfortable
Did you ever feel out of place?
'cause you're not comfortable?

I won't let this feeling end
'cause it might not come again

In the stilness of the night my eyes are closed.
My mouth is wide.
I could see her face.
Her beautifull hair I could recognize.

She looks at me cold.
She probably don't know who I am.

Mommy it is me, it's Keith.
You had me back when...

But sometimes I like to pretend, that she knows me, that she holds me.
Sometimes I like to pretend, that she knows me, that she holds me.

I guess I can't, 'cause she doesn't know who I am.

My mind it's dreaming, God it's so misleading.

Do you thing it's 'cause I've grown old.
Is it true that what I was told?
You cried to leave me?

You know I know it's not your fault.
You had a husband who was (now you're ?) selfish and cold.
Believe me I know.

And now I hear you used to treat me cold.
You disappeared and left me all alone.
I'm sure you didn't know right from wrong.
'cause both of you were always getting stoned.

But sometimes I like to pretend.
But sometimes I like to pretend, that she knows me
Sometimes I like to pretend, that she holds me.

Sometimes I like to pretend, that she knows me.
Sometimes I like to pretend, that she holds me.

I guess I can't, 'cause she doesn't know who I am.