All Mod Cons

Daylights dawns, you wake up and yawn - mr. clean
A piece of toast from the one you love most - and you leave
You get the bus in the 8 o'clock rush,
And catch the train in the morning rain
Mr. clean - mr. clean

If you see me in the street - look away
Cause i don't ever want to catch you looking at me - mr. clean
Cause i hate you and your wife
And if i get the chance i'll fuck up your life
Mr. clean - etc. -
Is that seen!

Surround yourself with dreams, of pretty young
Girls, and anyone you want, but -
Please don't forget me or any of my kind
Cause i'll make you think again
When i stick your face in the grind -

Getting pissed at the annual office do -
Smart blue suit and you went to cambridge too -
You miss page 3, but the times is right for you -
And mum and dad are very proud of you -
Mr. clean - etc.

If it's not you moaning, then it's someone else,
Jumping down my throat, every chance you get,
If it's not you crying, then it's probably me
You're the little dog messing up my tree -
Billy hunt is a magical world,
Full of strippers and long legged girls
Clark kent's got nothing on me,
I'll spy like james bond and die like king kong

Billy hunt, billy hunt, billy, billy, billy
Billy hunt, billy hunt, billy, billy, billy

I remember the first day at my job,
I didn't get along with the foreman, bob
Do this. do that. don't even stop for a cough.
He used to be a sergeant in the r.a.f.

No one pushes billy hunt around,
Well they do, but not for long
'cause when i get fit and grow bionic arms
The whole world's gonna wish it weren't born -

I could be a superman
Satisfy any whim that i wanted to,
I could be a human machine
I could show steve austin a thing or two -

If it's not you moaning, then it's someone else,
Jumping down my throat, every chance you get,
If it's not you crying, then it's probably me
You're the little dog messing up my tree -

No one pushes billy hunt around,
Well they do, but not for long
'cause when i get fit and grow bionic arms
The whole world's gonna wish it weren't born -

Billy hunt, billy hunt, billy, billy, billy
Billy hunt, billy hunt, billy, billy, billy

Seen you before, i know your sort,
You think the world awaits your every breath
You'll be my friend, or so you say
You'll help me out when the time comes

And all the time we're getting rich,
You hang around to help me out

But when we're skint, oh god forbid!
You drop us like hot bricks

Artistic freedom. do what you want.
But just make sure that the money ain't gone

I'll tell you what, i got you sussed
You'll waste my time, when my time comes.

I am a dull and simple lad
Cannot tell water from champagne
And i have never met the queen
And i wish i could have all he has got -
I wish i could be like david watts
And when i lie on my pillow at night
I dream i could fight like david watts
And lead the school team to victory
Take my exams and pass the lot

He is the head boy at the school
He is the captain of the team
His is so gay and fancy free
And i wish i could have all the money he's got
I wish i could be like david watts

And all the girls in the neighbourhood
Try to go out with david watts
The try their best but can't succeed
For he is of pure and noble creed

To be someone must be a wonderful thing
A famous footballer a rock singer
Or a big film star, yes i think i would like that
To be rich and have lots of fans
Have lots of girls to prove that i'm a man
And be no. 1 - and liked by everyone

Getting drugged up with my trendy friends
They really dig me and i dig them
And the bread i spend - is like my fame - it's quickly diminished

And there's no more swimming in a guitar shaped pool
No more reporters at my beck and call
No more cocaine it's only ground chalk
No more taxis now we'll have to walk

But didn't we have a nice time -
Didn't we have a nice time
Oh wasn't it such a fine time

I realize i should have stuck to my guns
Instead shit out to be one of the bastard sons
And lose myself - i know it was wrong - but it's cost me a lot

And there's no more drinking after the club shuts down,
I'm out on me arse with the rest of the clowns
It's really frightening without a bodyguard
So i stay confined to my lonely room

The distant echo -
Of faraway voices boarding faraway trains
To take them home to
The ones that they love and who love them forever
The glazed, dirty steps - repeat my own and reflect my thoughts
Cold and uninviting, partially naked
Except for toffee wrapers and this morning's paper
Mr. jones got run down
Headlines of death and sorrow - they tell of tomorrow
Madmen on the rampage
And i'm down in the tube station at midnight
I fumble for change - and pull out the queen
Smiling, beguiling
I put in the money and pull out a plum
Behind me
Whispers in the shadows - gruff blazing voices
Hating, waiting
"hey boy" they shout - "have you got any money?"
And i said - "i've a little money and a take away curry,
I'm on my way home to my wife.
She'll be lining up the cutlery,
You know she's expecting me
Polishing the glasses and pulling out the cork"
And i'm down in the tube station at midnight

I first felt a fist, and then a kick
I could now smell their breath
They smelt of pubs and wormwood scrubs
And too many right wing meetings
My life swam around me
It took a look and drowned me in its own existence
The smell of brown leather
It blended in with the weather
It filled my eyes, ears, nose and mouth
It blocked all my senses
Couldn't see, hear, speak any longer
And i'm down in the tube station at midnight
I said i was down in the tube station at midnight

The last thing that i saw
As i lay there on the floor
Was "jesus saves" painted by an atheist nutter
And a british rail poster read "have an awayday - a cheap holiday -
Do it today!"
I glanced back on my life
And thought about my wife
'cause they took the keys - and she'll think it's me
And i'm down in the tube station at midnight
The wine will be flat and the curry's gone cold
I'm down in the tube station at midnight
Don't want to go down in a tube station at midnight