1. _ Bruce Lee Vs. The Kiss Army
So, you think you're kung fu's pretty good, eh?
I want to fight your brother
Him, against me
Let's kung fu!!
The smoke is clearing you can see
Peter and paul stanley
Kareem and bruce they've made a truce
While ace and gene took pcp
A flying kick right through the air
His foot got stuck in peter's hair
Ace and gene took on kareem
But slipped and fell in afro sheen
Then bruce yelled out "oh boy"
I think he meant "la choy"
Kareem and bruce don't miss when throwing stars at kiss
Gene now has a shorter tongue
They should have used their love gun
Gene and ace escaped today
They'll live to fight another day
Oh, oh my god
Ancient chinese secret sent by buddha
Blah...
Bruce and kareem out shooting baskets for two points
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2. _ No Such Thing
Wrap your legs around me baby
I'll fill you with my love
I'll be pullin' out my power pole girlie
And show you what it does> most girls are afraid of me
But once you give me a chance
I sure like what you're showing
Now let's rock and roll baby
Cause there's no such thing as love
Get busy rocking baby
Get busy rolling
Show what you got inside
Get busy rocking
Get busy rolling
I know what you've got inside, yeah
No such thing
There's no such thing as love
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3. _ Ghost
Digging graves in my living room
Red roses in full bloom
A hanging lamp floats down the hall
I believe in ghosts
Though ghosts i never see
Ghosts are in my house
They're making fun of me
I can't wake up
From this nightmare
Slamming doors when i try to sleep
See me scared the more they reap
Breaking out of closets in my halls
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4. _ Old Glory
American flag waving high
Protecting it i want to die
I don't know about you man
But i'd rather die
Than live under communist rules
Let 'em go ahead and try
American flag, red, white and blue
Our government doesn't tell us what to do
If you don't like living here
Go somewhere else and stay a year
You'll be glad for what you've got
Or go to the mid-east and get shot
American flag, makes me proud
Fucking commies
I'll yell it loud
Try and take away the freedom that i have
You'll be lying dead
With a broken gun in hand
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5. _ Toilet
Now the time is here
Toilet talk is what is near
In an outhouse outside my pad
My sense of smell makes me see red
My dog takes a drink
From the toilet which makes us think
Toilet!!
Pizza dinner i went out
20 beers scream and shout
Now the moment of truth comes in
I'll fill that dog from the other end
I hope that someday i will find
A giant toilet of this kind
It's drained with tile and coping and
Free alva decks for my whole band
Skate this thing till the break of dawn
While corky and tyler pack my bong
What's the deal you say it's gay
While chicks and jocks they think it's lame
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6. _ Marco-polo
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7. _ Carp
Time: it's always there but not on my side
Time: it ticks and ticks as my life passes
Time: it's time to go to work and go to school
I see a fucking problem here
Get up get dressed my friends it's time to go to work
Fuck that, ha ha
I think i'll stay in bed instead
Work: oh boy it's fun to sweat
Work: is it fucking lunch time yet?
Work: i'm sorry boss my car won't start
I see a fucking problem here
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8. _ Gas Out
Go to the store, but a pack
There's 12 tortillas neatly stacked
Next thing you know, grab some beans
Stuff that shit right down your jeans
We run, we hide
Your diet's refried
Gas out...next thing you know
Sorry mom, i think i'll go and drop the bomb
It's in the face, and that's too bad
Rosaritas all they had
We run, we hide
The beans inside
Gas out
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9. _ Race Track
Drive drive drive
Fast fast fast
Crash crash crash
Die
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10. _ No More
I'm crazy i'm outta my mind
I said i'm crazy and you're outta time
Oh yes so crazy
So sick of your kind
I said i'm crazy baby
And you're outta time
Everytime you look at me
I realize what you can't see
Then i know i was right all the time
Up and down side to side
I racked my brain
Lost my stride always said
I'd crack down the line
So just leave me alone
My head is finally straight
So i can see where i'm going
Take your silly problems
Back to someone new
It's plain as night
And day i'm not the one for you
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11. _ Hypocrite
See you in church
And i see you in school
You say that you live
By that golden rule
But look again
It's all a lie
You're a hypocrite
And i don't know why
Your life's filled
With distortion and lies
See you at a party
Don't know what to say
When i catch you in a lie
You just turn your head away
But take a look around
You've got none to fool
Because non of us around
Live by mother's golden rule
Take a look around
Not a fucking sound
Eyes stare at you
What you gonna do?
You live a life of lies
The truth to you is no surprise
You say it's on the way
But now you fuckin pay
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12. _ Mr. Barbeque
Hey now, welcome to my house
I'm gonna' have a bbq and maybe i'll invite ya'
Gotta side of pork
Gotta' side of creamy salad
Got a jar of cole slaw and a case of lighter fluid
Oh my god!
My arm's on fire!
Somebody pass the dressing!
Everybody remain calm
I'm a professional
Quickly submerge the arm in mayonnaise
Says mr. bbq
Hey, thanks a lot doc my arm's feeling great
Oh, by the way, could you pass the mouth watering pork rinds?
O.k. i think it's about time for everybody's favorite pigs feet eating contest
Ready? go!!!
Well, it looks like it's last years champion mrs. brown
She's in the lead
No, wait, it's mr. brown
Mrs. brown, she's choking!!!
Weenies man
Chicken fried pork steaks
Skinless boneless chicken breasts
Mr. bbq.
Mrs. brown is fine
Now it's time to dine
Grab yourself a plate the pork is really great
You know, you never can be too careful with those under cooked pork chops
You could get some disease
Or worse yet, you could get struck by lightning
Or drown in a kiddie pool
So don't be a fool, be sure to take all the necessary precautions when having a bbq
Weenies man
Chicken...
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13. _ I'm Punk
I'm a chick with no tits i'm a mess
Always been so fond of you do you like the way i dress?
Look like hell all 7 days
Got no tits that's why i say
My parents are so rich
That's why i'm such a bitch
Boy's underwear makes me feel like i'm punk
Sixteen years i've had two beers of life
Sixteen years i've had two beers and i know i'm out of line
See you at the gig i'll be pickin' my ass and nose
Pick, pick, pick, make everyone sick, see my attitude sure shows.
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14. _ Where Was I?
Well, country's in the red
Soon we'll be dead
No life, not even a flower
Cause atomic power
Scares the shit out of you
There's nothing you can do
Undecided men
Bout a war you can't win
Hey, who would want to win the damn thing anyway, right boys?
Children turn green
The flowers die
All the people are gone except i
The atom bombs have exploded near
Where was i if i wasn't here?
Atomic was one way out
Nuclear was the final bout
Atomic war can destroy our race
Leave the earth in all but waste
But, where was i
When the trouble started?
Where was i when the two sides parted?
Where was i if i wasn't here?
Cause the atom bombs have exploded near
But nothing's happened to me so...
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15. _ Reggae Man
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16. _ Chicken Box
Hey blood come around
Come check out my part of town
I want to see you here tonight
But in my neighborhood
You know the chicken's good
I wanna see the blackmen fight
And now the time is here
Cold chicken, chitlens, beer
I want to see you here tonight
And now they come around
These soul food stands in town
Malt liquor seems to taste so right
And to the chicken stand we go
We're eating lots-o-greasy food
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17. _ 1, 2, 3...slam!
Okay, here's the story about my mom and dad
One was white
One was black
I bet you think you're glad
I'm a half breed, my skin is fair yet tan
I don't know what the hell i'm on
So 1, 2...1, 2, 3 slam!!!
Kinky hair when i wake up
Straight when i go to bed
My dad speaks jive talk to me, don't know what he just said
My mother she's a honkey
My dad's kentucky fried
I don't know what the hell i'm on
So 1, 2...1, 2, 3 slam!!!
Back at home it's black eyed peas with a pot roast on the side
It's hot dogs on friday nights
The chicken's country fried
My dad says "yo boy pass the peas!"
My mom says pass the squash
I need something to ease the pain
So i'll go downtown and get some downers
Whoa, man, i'm a little bit slow
But i've got to get up somehow
Got no money
Just a good idea
Let me tell you how
I'll steal my parents credit cards
Oh yes i'll rip them off
I'll go downtown to where dad works
And get myself some cocaine
Now i'm high, and i'm not shy
I'll get it off my chest
My mom is white, she thinks she's right
She thinks that she's the best
My dad is just a negro, he's not one to play golf
I don't know what the hell i am
So 1, 2...1, 2, 3 slam!!!
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18. _ Malted Vomit
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19. _ Jack La Lanne
Blame it on la lanne
When something goes wrong
That sweatsuited scapegoat
For the exercising bomb he's our man
My lawn turned yellow
My goldfish died
I squirted some ben-gay
Right in my eye
He's the fucking cause
That sweatsuited scapegoat
With the atomic sock
When he exercises me
I know he doesn't shower
When i see him beatin' meat
He makes me want to shower
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20. _ I Used To Be 20
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21. _ Under My Skin
You're under my skin like needles and pins
You really start to bug me but there is no end
You're a bad bad drug like the one you're hooked on
Trying to addict me but something's gone wrong
You're under my skin like needles and pins
You're a pea-brained monkey that souldn't have
A name you want to be a psycho want to
Cause some pain why don't you want me?
Cause i don't want you why do you hang
Around when i don't like you're under
My skin like needles and pins
Through my skin - in my veins
From my arm - into my brain
You cause my nightmares - but cause no pain
It's only because - i know your game
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