Alanis Unplugged

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
Isn't it ironic... don't you think?

Chorus:
It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Mr. play it safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"well isn't this nice..."
And isn't it ironic... don't you think?

Repeat chorus

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic... don't you think?
A little too ironic... and yeah i really do think...

Repeat chorus

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out

Lyrics by sting


There's a little black spot on the sun today
It's the same old thing as yesterday
There's a black hat caught in a high tree top
There's a flag-pole rag and the wind won't stop

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess i'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain

There's a fossil that's trapped in a high cliff wall
That's my soul up there
There's a dead salmon frozen in a waterfall
That's my soul up there
There's a blue whale beached by a springtime's ebb
That's my soul up there
There's a butterfly trapped in a spider's web

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess i'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain

There's a king on a throne with his eyes torn out
There's a blind man looking for a shadow of doubt
There's a rich man sleeping on a golden bed
There's a skeleton choking on a crust of bread

There's a red fox torn by a huntsman's pack
There's a black-winged gull with a broken back
There's a little black spot on the sun today
It's the same old thing as yesterday

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess i'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain

Queen of pain
I'll always be queen of pain
I'll always be queen of pain

That i would be good even if i did nothing
That i would be good even if i got the thumbs down
That i would be good if i got and stayed sick
That i would be good even if i gained ten pounds

That i would be fine even even if i went bankrupt
That i would be good if i lost my hair and my youth
That i would be great if i was no longer queen
That i would be grand if i was not all knowing

That i would be loved even when i numb myself
That i would be good even when i am overwhelmed
That i would be loved even when i was fuming
That i would be good even if i was clingy

That i would be good even if i lost sanity
That i would be good
Whether with or without you

As we were talking outside it was cold we were shivering yet warmed by the subject matter
My wife is in the next room we've been having troubles you know please don't tell her or anyone
But i need to talk to somebody
You said "wouldn't it be a shame if i knew how great i was five minutes before i died i'd be filled
With such regret before i took my last breath" and i said "you're willing to tell me this now
And you're not going to die anytime soon"
And i said i haven't been eating chicken or meat or anything and you said yes
But you've been wearing leather and laughed and said we're at the top of the food chain
And yes you're still a fine woman and i cringed
I was hoping we could heal each other
I was hoping we could be raw together
We left the restaurant where the head waiter (in his 60's) said "good-bye sir thank you for your business sir you're
Successful and established sir and we like the frequency with which you dine here sir
And your money" and when i walked by they said "thank you too dear" i was all pigtails and cords
And there was a day when i would've said something like "hey dude i could buy and sell this place so kiss it"
I too once though i was owed something
I was hoping i was hoping we could challenge each other
I was hoping i was hoping we could crack each other up
I too thought that when proved wrong i lost somehow
I too once thought life was cruel
It's a cycle really you think i'm withdrawing and guilt tripping you i think you're insensitive
And i don't feel heard and i said do you believe we are fundamentally judgmental? fundamentally evil?
And you said yes i said i don't believe in revenge in right or wrong good or bad you said
"well what about the man that i saw handcuffed in the emergency room bleeding after beating his kid
And she threw a shoe at his head.
I think what he did was wrong and i would've had a hard time feeling compassion for him"
I had to watch my tone for fear of having you feel judged
I was hoping i was hoping we could dance together
I was hoping i was hoping we could be creamy together

Please be philosophical
Please be tapped into your feminity
Please be able to take the wheel from me
Please be crazy and curious

Papa love your princess so that she will find loving princes familiar
Papa cry for your princess so that she will find gentle princes familiar

Please be a sexaholic
Please be unpredictably miserable
Please be self absorbed much (not the good kind)
Please be addicted to some substance


Papa listen to your princess so that she will find attentive princes familiar
Papa hear your princess so that she will find curious princes familiar

Please be the jerk of my knee i've fit you always
You finish my sentences i think i love you
What is your name again no matter i'm guessing your thoughts again
Correctly and i love the way
You press my buttons so much sometimes i could strangle you


Papa laugh with your princess so that she will find funny princes familiar
Papa respect your princess so that she will find respectful princes familiar


Please be strangely enigmatic
Please be just like my

And you're like a 90's jesus
And you revel in your psychosis
How dare you
And you sample concepts like hors d'euvres
And you eat their questions for dessert
Is it just me or is it hot in here?

And you're like a 90's kennedy
And you're really a million years old
You can't fool me
They'll throw opinions like rocks in riots
And they'll stumble around like hypocrites
Is it just me or is it dark in here?

Well you may never be or have a husband
You may never have or hold a child
You will learn to loose everything
We are temporary arrangements

And you're like a 90's noah
And they laughed at you as you packed all of your things
And they wonder why you're frustrated
And they wonder why you're so angry
And is it just me or are you fed up?


And may god bless you in your travels in your conquests and queries