Alanis Unplugged

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
Isn't it ironic... don't you think?

Chorus:
It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Mr. play it safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"well isn't this nice..."
And isn't it ironic... don't you think?

Repeat chorus

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic... don't you think?
A little too ironic... and yeah i really do think...

Repeat chorus

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out

Lyrics by sting


There's a little black spot on the sun today
It's the same old thing as yesterday
There's a black hat caught in a high tree top
There's a flag-pole rag and the wind won't stop

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess i'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain

There's a fossil that's trapped in a high cliff wall
That's my soul up there
There's a dead salmon frozen in a waterfall
That's my soul up there
There's a blue whale beached by a springtime's ebb
That's my soul up there
There's a butterfly trapped in a spider's web

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess i'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain

There's a king on a throne with his eyes torn out
There's a blind man looking for a shadow of doubt
There's a rich man sleeping on a golden bed
There's a skeleton choking on a crust of bread

There's a red fox torn by a huntsman's pack
There's a black-winged gull with a broken back
There's a little black spot on the sun today
It's the same old thing as yesterday

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess i'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain

Queen of pain
I'll always be queen of pain
I'll always be queen of pain

That i would be good even if i did nothing
That i would be good even if i got the thumbs down
That i would be good if i got and stayed sick
That i would be good even if i gained ten pounds

That i would be fine even even if i went bankrupt
That i would be good if i lost my hair and my youth
That i would be great if i was no longer queen
That i would be grand if i was not all knowing

That i would be loved even when i numb myself
That i would be good even when i am overwhelmed
That i would be loved even when i was fuming
That i would be good even if i was clingy

That i would be good even if i lost sanity
That i would be good
Whether with or without you

Dear dar(lin') your mom (my friend) left a message on my machine she was frantic
Saying you were talking crazy that you wanted to do away with yourself
I guess she thought i'd be a perfect resort because we've had this inexplicable connection since our youth and
Yes they're in shock they are panicked you and your chronic them and their drama
You this embarrassment us in the middle of this delusion
If we were our bodies
If we were our futures
If we were our defenses i'd be joining you
If we were our culture
If we were our leaders
If we were our denials i'd be joining you
I remember vividly a day years ago we were camping you knew more than you thought you should know
You said "i don't want ever to be brainwashed" and you were mindboggling you were intense
You were uncomfortable in your own skin you were thirsty but mostly you were beautiful
If we were our nametags
If we were our rejections
If we were our outcomes i'd be joining you
If we were our indignities
If we were our successes
If we were our emotions i'd be joining you
You and i we're like four year olds we want to know why and how come about everything
We want to reveal ourselves at will and speak out minds and never talk small and be intuitive
And question mightily and find god my tortured beacon
We need to find like-minded companions
If we were their condemnations
If we were their projections
If we were our paranoias i'd be joining you
If we were our incomes
If we were our obsessions
If we were our afflictions i'd be joining you
We need reflection we need a really good memory feel free to call me a little more often

These are the thoughts that go through my head
In my backyard on a sunday afternoon
When i have the house to myself and i am not
Expending all that energy on fighting with my boyfriend

Is he the one that i will marry?
Why is it so hard to be objective about myself?
Why do i feel cellularly alone?
Am i supposed to live in this crazy city?
Can blindly continued fear-induced regurgitated
Life- denying tradition be overcome?

Where does the money go that i send to those in need?
If we have so much why do some people have nothing still?
Why do i feel frantic when i first wake up in the morning?
Why do you say you are spiritual
Yet you treat people like shit?

How can you say you're close to god
And yet you talk behind my back as though i am not
A part of you?
Why do i say i'm fine
When it's obvious i'm not?
Why's it so hard to tell you what i want?
Why can't you just read my mind?

Why do i fear that the quieter i am the less you will listen?
Why do i care whether you like me or not?
Why is it so hard for me to be angry?
Why is it such work to stay conscious and so easy to get stuck
And not the other way around?

Will i ever move back to canada?
Can i be with a lover with whom i am a student and a master?
Why am i encouraged to shut my mouth
When it gets too close to home?
Why cannot i live in the moment?

And you're like a 90's jesus
And you revel in your psychosis
How dare you
And you sample concepts like hors d'euvres
And you eat their questions for dessert
Is it just me or is it hot in here?

And you're like a 90's kennedy
And you're really a million years old
You can't fool me
They'll throw opinions like rocks in riots
And they'll stumble around like hypocrites
Is it just me or is it dark in here?

Well you may never be or have a husband
You may never have or hold a child
You will learn to loose everything
We are temporary arrangements

And you're like a 90's noah
And they laughed at you as you packed all of your things
And they wonder why you're frustrated
And they wonder why you're so angry
And is it just me or are you fed up?


And may god bless you in your travels in your conquests and queries