Stranger In My Own Backyard

Number 4 in the beginning
There was one--
Himself had just began
Then along came number 2--
The other way round is your clue
And after that came 3--
Written by you know me
Now i'm not saying anymore
Except to tell you
That this is not number 1: number2:
Number 3: or number 5 but number 4

I can mark time walk a straight line
Grab a mad bull by the nose
I can stand still on an ant-hill
And not once get itchy toes
I can even for no reason
Be as nice as i am rude
But i can't get you to love me
I just can't get you to love me
What do i do?

I can stand up put my hand up
Where perhaps it shouldn't be
I can go down to a hoe-down?
Have one hell of a yippee!
I can also if you must know
Do whatever else i choose
But i can't get you to love me
I just can't get you to love me
What do i do?

All of my life i've been waiting
For a moment like this
And now that i've found it
You know something's amiss
Can't get you to love me...

I can tell tales hammer toe-nails
Write a letter to the queen
I can easily and discreetly
Be as charming as obscene
When i feel light

I can take a fight
But i know one thing for sure
I just can't get you to love me
I just can't get you to love me
What do i do?

Move along, move along, move along
Said the man with the uniform on
Get away, get away, get away
Said the goldfish to the whale
Oh what have i done now
And the goldfish replied you fool
You're too big for me
And i'm too yellow for you

Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up
Said the greyhound to her pup
What a life, what a life, what a life
Said the husband to his wife
Oh where did we go wrong
And the husband to put it crude
Said you're no fun anymore
And i'm fed up with -

-you and me and baby makes
3, 4, 5, 6, 7
8, 9, 10 and 11
12, 13, 14, 15 times 44 is 660!

And again, and again, and again
Said the masochist to his friend
What a cheek, what a cheek, what a cheek
Said the hen to the portuguese
Oh what have we done wrong
And the hen replied you fools
You're too many for me
And i'm too chicken for -

-you and me and baby makes
3, 4, 5, 6, 7
8, 9, 10 and 11
12, 13, 14, 15 times 44 is 660!

I may be old fashioned
So what if i am
I'm not any different
To any other man
I'm not one of those
Who look for blood from a stone
But i believe
A woman's place is in the home.

Now i'm not one to kid you
You know it's not my style
I wouldn't want to hurt you
Not even for a while
I'm all for a woman
Who can make it on her own
But i believe
A woman's place is in the home.
Ooh baby i believe, i do
A woman's place is in the home.

Wonder what would have happened
Had a woman flattened
Rocky marciano's nose
Would there have been
A change of views
Would women no longer be used
The way they seem
To think they're being

I know what you're thinking
And you've every right to moan
But i believe, yes indeed, i do,
A woman's place is in the home.
Ooh baby i believe, i do
A woman's place is --in the home

Oh i was walking down the street
When a man came up to me
And said don't i know you?
And i said, well, you might do
But the thing is ooh, the thing is
I don't know you-

Now i was driving in my car
And i had not gone very far
When from out of nowhere
I thought i saw a big bear
But the thing is ooh, the thing is
No bear was there -

Did somebody here just mention (hong kong)
Isn't that the place where suzi (wong's form)
I saw the film (and did you like it?)
Well, to be honest i didn't mind it.

Oh, i was sitting back in my chair
When a man came on the air
And said, well, hello there
And, i said, well, hello there
But the thing is (but the thing is)
Ooh, the thing is (ooh, the thing is)

I don't have a radio
I don't have a radio
But i've got a sister in crewe
I don't have a radio
I don't have a radio
And i've got a brother there, too.
Do you?
Interlude
That's all for now
But before you turn to the other side
You can go out
With a taste of the music i'll provide
There are songs that i've written recently like...
(extract)
And some that were written previously
Why not hear-me

I shudder to think what my father would think
If he came home and found me in bed
With more then just one
But several of some
Lovely big strawberries

He'll probably shout
Give me a hell of a clout
Or perhaps a good kick up the rear
But one thing's for sure
I'll have to endure
A great deal of pain so to speak

I know it's not right
But for a laugh every night
I knock on people's doors
And shout things like up yours

I'll never know why
But for some reason i
Never did well at school
All i did was break rules and tell lies

His birthday's next week
So i though as a treat
I would buy him his favourite book
It's not one of those poetic prose
Just full frontal nudity

There will be days
We'll be in each others way
Down each others throats
Like you wouldn't believe
But then who was it said
Married life begins in bed
And ends up somewhat disparagingly

You say to me that you love me truly
I say to you likewise i feel just the same
But then who really knows
When two people get that close
That their feelings to each other
Won't change

I'll kiss you and then i'll kiss you once again
And pray to god once we get married there
(there)just won't come a time
When we'll wish we'll have changed our minds
A problem to end all our dreams

So there will be days
We'll be in each other ways
Down each others throats
Just you wait and see
But don't be upset
After all that's what you get
When you become part of the marriage machine
Part of the marriage machine.

This pleasure book i'm writing
Doesn't give me any thrill
All it does is prove conclusively
Where there's a way there's will
Who by the way along with mary
Peter, patsy, and paul.
Has the cheek to turn the other
When the other was on the ball

It will be done thy will become
Not this or that or thee
But something far more mature
Like victor e.

I can't forget the moment
Of my very first affair
When the lights were low
The music so soft fred, my record player
Began to do the two step
Side by side my prize antique
And before you know it there they were
Engaging cheek to cheek

It will be done thy will become
Not this or that or thee
But something far more mature
Like victor e.

If ever there's a moment
I feel absolutely sure
That what i'm about to verge upon
Won't rate the least obscure
Then just to recap on that point
I'd like now this to say
When the indians begin to charge
What will the cavalry pay

It will be done thy will become
Not this or that or thee
But something far more mature
Like victor e.

Victor a. victor b. victor c. victor d.
Victor e