One Size Fits All

Frank zappa (guitar, lead vocals)
George duke (keyboards, synthesizer, vocals)
Napoleon murphy brock (flute, tenor saxophone, vocals)
Chester thompson (drums)
Tom fowler (bass)
Ruth underwood (vibes, marimba, percussion)
Bloodshot rollin' red (harmonica)

Evelyn, a modified dog
Viewed the quivering fringe of a special doily
Draped across the piano, with some surprise

In the darkened room
Where the chairs dismayed
And the horrible curtains
Muffled the rain
She could hardly believe her eyes

A curious breeze
A garlic breath
Which sounded like a snore
Somewhere near the steinway (or even from within)
Had caused the doily fringe to waft & tremble in the gloom

Evelyn, a dog, having undergone
Further modification
Pondered the significance of short-person behavior
In pedal-depressed panchromatic resonance
And other highly ambient domains...

Arf she said

Frank zappa (guitar, vocals)
George duke (keyboards, synthesizer, lead vocals)
Napoleon murphy brock (flute, tenor saxophone, vocals)
Chester thompson (drums)
Tom fowler (bass)
Ruth underwood (vibes, marimba, percussion)
Bloodshot rollin' red (harmonica)

Did a vehicle
Come from somewhere out there
Just to land in the andes?
Was it round
And did it have
A motor
Or was it
Something
Different

Did a vehicle
Did a vehicle
Did a vehicle
Fly along the mountains
And find a place to park itself

Or did someone
Build a place
To leave a space
For such a vehicle to land

Did a vehicle
Come from somewhere out there
Did a vehicle
Come from somewhere out there
Did the indians, first on the bill
Carve up the hill

Did a booger-bear
Come from somewhere out there
Just to land in the andes?
Was she round
And did she have a motor
Or was she something different

Guacamole queen
Guacamole queen
Guacamole queen
Guacamole queen
At the armadillo in austin texas, her aura,
Or did someone build a place
Or leave a space for chester's thing to land
(chester's thing... on ruth)
Did a booger-beer
Come from somewhere out there
Did a booger-bear
Come from somewhere out there
Did the indians, first on the bill
Carve up her hill
On ruth
On ruth
That's ruth

Frank zappa (guitar, vocals)
George duke (keyboards, synthesizer, vocals)
Napoleon murphy brock (flute, tenor saxophone, vocals)
Chester thompson (drums)
Tom fowler (bass)
Ruth underwood (vibes, marimba, percussion)
Bloodshot rollin' red (harmonica)

(instrumental)

Frank zappa (guitar, vocals)
George duke (keyboards, synthesizer, vocals)
Napoleon murphy brock (flute, tenor saxophone, lead vocals)
Chester thompson (drums)
Tom fowler (bass)
Ruth underwood (vibes, marimba, percussion)
Bloodshot rollin' red (harmonica)

She was the daughter of a wealthy
Florentine pogen
Read 'em 'n weep
Was here adjustable slogan

She was a debutante daisy
With a color-note organ
Deep in the street
She drove a '59 morgan

That's the kinda step she takes
When her hot breaks hot breaks
That's the kinda sound she makes
(ooh, let go uh me)
When her crab cakes
(arf arf arf)

She didn't like it when her fan belt
Shrunk & got shorter
(ointment)
Battery leak could nearly cost her a quarter

She didn't want to stay home
An' watch the pestle go mortar
Later she speaks
On how perellis might court her

Na-na-na-noo, etc.

She was the daughter
Ah-ah-ahhh
Of a wealthy
Florentine pogen
Po-oh-wo-oh-oh
Po-oh-wo-oh-oh
Po-oh-wo-oh-oh
Ga-ya-ee-annnn

Read 'em 'n weep
Read 'em 'n weep
Read 'em 'n weep etc.

Chester's go-rilla
She go quack
Chester's go-rilla
She go oink
Chester's go-rilla
She go moo
Chester's go-rilla
She go
Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche

Frank zappa (guitar, vocals)
George duke (keyboards, synthesizer, vocals)
Napoleon murphy brock (flute, tenor saxophone, vocals)
Chester thompson (drums)
Tom fowler (bass)
Ruth underwood (vibes, marimba, percussion)
Bloodshot rollin' red (harmonica)
Johnny "guitar" watson (vocals)

She lives in mojave in a winnebago
His name is bobby, he looks like a potato

She's in love with a boy
>from the rodeo
Who pulls the rope on the chute
When they let those suckers go

He's a slobberin' drunk at the palomino
They give him thirty days in san ber'dino

Well there's forty-four men
Stashed away in tank "c"
An' there's only one shower
But it don't apply to bobby

You may think they're
Dumb an' lonely
But you're wrong
'cause their love is strong
Stacked-up hair
An' a cheap little ring
They don't care
'cause it don't mean a thing

Looka there...
They don't care

Best-est way that
They can feel-o
Out on the highway
Rollin' a wheel-o
He's her tootsie
She's for real-o
Trailer park heaven
It's a real good deal-o
Real good deal-o
Real good deal-o
Real good deal-o

The rest of their lives
In san ber'dino
Gonna spend the rest of their lives
In san ber'dino
The rest of their lives
In san ber'dino
Come on with me
Come on with me
Come on with me
Down in san ber'dino
Just 60 miles, 60 miles
Down the san ber'dino freeway
They got some dark green air
An' you can choke all day
That's right!
Gonna spend the rest of their lives
Rest of their lives
Rest of their lives

Say now
Ain't talkin' 'bout fontana
Ain't talkin' 'bout uh uh
Ain't talkin' 'bout uh uh
Ain't talkin' 'bout uh uh
Ain't talkin' 'bout the redlands, no no
Zulch is the auto works
I'm telling you
That's where they take
All the cars that they hurt
Come on and let's all go down to san ber'dino
Ooo-ooo
Ooo-ooo
Ooo-ooo
Let's-a go down down down
Down in san ber'dino
Wouldja b'lieve it
San ber'dino
San ber'dino
(got to call it)
San ber'dino
(c'mere)
San ber'dino
Etc., etc., etc.
The rest of their lives
In san ber'dino

Oh bobby, i'm sorry you gotta head like a potato
I really am