1. _ Lumpy Gravy I
Theme
The way i see it, barry, this should be a dynamite show.
Orchestral
Surf music
Bit of nostalga for the old folks
Dialogue
I'm advocating dark clothes
If i'm not alone
How long have i been asleep
As long as i have
Did you ever live in a drum?
No
Well then you aren't me
I only dreamed i lived in a drum
Ever since it got dark
Dreaming is hard
Yea, but with nothing over your head?
No just light over my head and underneath too
I don't think i could take it without anything over my head
M-m - ???
Well why don't you go out and see what's out there?
Well i don't know if that's what's out there.
That's a thought, if you'd like
Yes but still you can say darker and darker
I don't know what the outside of this thing looks like at all
I knew it's dark and murky
How do you get your water so dark?
Cause i'm paranoid
I'm very paranoid and the water in my washing machine turns dark out
Of sympathy
Out of sympathy?
Yes
Um where can i get that?
At your local drug store
How much?
It's from kansas
Dixieland music
Effects
Bored out .90 over with 3 strong burt 97ths
Car dialogue
Almost chinese huh yeah.
Good bread, cause i was making um $2.71 an hour
I keep switching girls all the time because if i'm able to find a girl with really a groovy car that i can build up, man, i'll go steady with her for awhile until i can build up her car and blow
The engine.
Orchestral (sped up)
Orchestral (1)
Dialogue
I worked in a cheesy newspaper company for awhile but that was terrible, i wasn't making enough money to build anything
Louie louie
And then i worked in a printing company and a couple of gas stations. oh at the gas station where i was working my brother had just gotten married and uh, he bought a new car and his wife was ha
A kid and all this miserable stuff and he needed a job so i gave him a job at the gas station of which i was fired because, you know, he was going to work there. and he had his car on the rack a
Was lubing it and changing tires and everything all the time. and so then he got fired because he was goofing off, man, and he just kept taking parts and working on his car day and night. so he
That job and i went to work in another gas station. he took that one, you know, so he could feed the kids and that. then i went to work in a aircraft company, and uh, i was building these plane
Worked on the xb-70, i was the last welder on there. yea but, it was pretty good bread because i was making um, $2.71 an hour. i was making a hundred and a quarter a week, and uh, yea it was goo
Ugh money to be working on so
I got an oldsmobile, a groovy olds. but i was going with this chick at the time. by the time i got the olds running decently, she went out and tore up the engine, and the trans and let her girl
Ds get in there and booze it up and tare up the seats. they ripped the seats completely out. so uh, i got a '56 olds, which was this one chick i was going with, and uh we used to drive out all o
He place and finally she got rid of that and uh, i got another pickup.
Fast rock
Sound effects
Sped up drums
Orchestral
Oh man, i don't know if i can go through this again.
Orchestral (1)
Orchestral (sped up)
Sound effects
Percussion,orchestra
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2. _ Amen
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3. _ King Kong
Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Mark volman (vocals)
Howard kaylan (vocals)
Jim pons (bass, vocals)
Don preston (keyboards, electronics)
Ian underwood (keyboards, alto saxophone)
Aynsley dunbar (drums)
Aaaah...
Bidet!
Bloooow-job?
Bidet!
Jambon
Bloooow-job?
Bidet! bidet! bidet!...
Blow-job! blow-job! blow-job!...
Jambon...jambon... ... thank you
Oh thank you, you're really too kind
Thank you, thank you so much
Thank you, thank you
Blow-job
Help out, ladies and gentlemen
Oui!
I bet: oui, oui
And now for the next part of our program,
I'd like to present, ah...blow-job!
Blow-job! bidet! jambon!...
Jambon...jambon...
Bidet!...
I want a garden!
I want a garden!
I want a garden!
I want a nun!
I want a nun!
I want a burrow in the broad daylight
I want a garden!
I want a nun!
I want a garden!
Just like the garden that that asshole came up here on the stage
And sang about, three years ago...
He came up out of the audience,
He said: "i want a garden!
I want a garden!
I wanna water it with my tears..."
And then denny walley said: "oh, you want kindergarten!"
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4. _ Kangaroos
And then they eat it when they get hungry.
If it's still alive.
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5. _ Envelops The Bath Tub
'cause round things are... are boring...
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6. _ Just One More Time
Oh yeah!
That's just fine!
Come on boys!
Just one more time!
I think i can explain about how the pigs music works.
Well, this should be interesting.
Remember that they make music with a very dense light.
And remember about the smoke standing still and how they,
They really get up tight,
When you try to move the smoke, right?
Right...
Yeah...
I think the music in that dense light
Is probably what makes the smoke stand still.
Any sort of motion has its effect on, on the pony's manes.
You know, the thing on their neck.
Hmm...
As soon as the pony's manes starts to get good in the back,
Any sort of, like motion, especially of smoke or gas,
Begins to make the end split.
That's the basis of all their nationalism,
Like if they can't salute the smoke every morning
When they get up.
Yeah, it's a vicious circle, you got it!
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7. _ Take Your Clothes Off
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8. _ Very Distraughtening
Ah, that one again.
It's a little pig with wings.
I hear you've been having trouble with pigs and ponies!
It's very distraughtening.
Everything in the universe is, is, is made of one element,
Which is a note, a single note.
Atoms are really vibrations, you know.
With your extensions of the big note, everything's one note.
Everything, even the ponies.
The note, however, is the ultimate power,
But see the pigs don't know that,
The ponies don't know that.
You mean just we know that?
Right!
Merry-go-round, merry-go-round,
Tu-tu-tu-tu tu-tu-tu tu-tu-tu
And they call that doing their thing.
Oh yeah? that's what doing your thing is!
The thing is to put a motor in yourself.
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9. _ A Vicious Circle
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10. _ White Ugliness
Arf arf arf!
I whipped the teeth out.
I had to fight back and hit 'em, like..., you know...,
Hit 'em and hit 'em and hit 'em and kick 'em and kick 'em.
Did he get on top of you?
No, i fought so back, hard back and...
Hard back?
White!
White?
Yeah, white ugliness.
Did it have teeth?
And it was two, it was two boogiemen along the side of 'em.
I really bunked into 'em.
I had to, i had to kick,
I had to fight to four or five boogiemen in front of me...
Well, maybe he can turn into...
One of 'em could maybe be, uh killed.
Yes, but i've heard these ponies are really vicious.
I know, but, i know they're vicious, but i...
These claws!
He doesn't have people doing it.
They get on top of you and they just tear you apart.
I know...
But i hope they don't get 'em.
Ponies...if, if, if...
Was it white? 're you sure?...it wasn't white,
I mean uh...black, uh...
But i was too scared to notice their physical...
...gold or something...
...i was too, i was too scared to no-no-no-notice their physical,
Ah, appearance, 'cause they...they...they were attackin' me!
They were?
They were attackin' me.
What were they doin' to you?
They were, they were, they were come and surrounding me
And attackin' me and i had to fight back and fight,
Fight and fight back and pick up sticks.
Pick up sticks?
Yes, pick up sticks.
I used to play that game, pick up sticks.
Me too, did you ever play that game?
Yeah! that's funny! ha ha ha!
Now anyway, yes, pony, or president, or popes, i don't know.
Something out there is dangerous.
Could be a cigar or somethin'
A cigar!
A cigar? no, you're insane, come on!
No no.
I remember when i was ah, well, i don't remember.
Those were the days!
That was before the days it will forces.
Yes, before the days ah eh, ponies or boogiemen or somethin'.
What's out there?
But then it was a...what was it then?
Newspapers.
Noooo...
Sure!
Positive.
You had to have 'em.
No no no...
You've got one right in your nose right now!
Hah hah hah!
Zzzzzzz, scratchin' 'em...
Well, i'm gettin' tired...
We should, we should go to sleep...
I just hope he comes back...
I think i'll pray for him...
I think i'll join you...
You do yours and i'll do mine...
Ok
Ha ha ha!
We hope for the best.
Ha ha ha!
(alfred motorhead).
Now i lay me down to sleep.
Amen!
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11. _ Drums Are Too Noisy
Drums are too noisy, you've got no corners to hide in.
So when she's beating him over the nose with a tire iron
And then we both jump away and disappear
And the pig will turn around and there'll be this pony.
Oh no man: kangaroos!
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English 
Lumpy Gravy » The lyrics