Does Humor Belong In Music ?

Frank zappa (vocals, guitar)
Lowell george (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Roy estrada (bass, vocals)
Bunk gardner (woodwinds)
Ian underwood (keyboards, woodwinds)
Don preston (keyboards)
Motorhead sherwood (woodwinds, vocals)
Jimmy carl black (drums, percussion)
Arthur tripp (drums, percussion)

I say wplj, it really tastes good to me
Wplj won't you take a drink with me
Well, it's a good good wine
It really makes me feel so fine, so fine, so fine, so fine

I went to the store when they open up the door
I said: "please please please gimme some more"
White port & lemon juice, white port & lemon juice,
White port & lemon juice, ooh what a good to you!

You take the bottle, you take the can, shake it up fine
You get a good good wine.
White port & lemon juice, white port & lemon juice,
White port & lemon juice, ooh what a good to you!

The w is the white, the p is the port
The l is the lemon, the j is the juice
White port & lemon juice, white port & lemon juice,
White port & lemon juice, ooh what a good to you!

Well i feel so good, i feel so fine
I got plenty of lovin', i got plenty of wine
White port & lemon juice, white port & lemon juice,
I said white port & lemon juice, ooh what a good to you!

Frank zappa (guitar, lead vocals)
Ray white (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Ike willis (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Bobby martin (keyboards, saxophone, vocals)
Alan zavod (keyboards)
Scott thunes (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)

Well i'm about to get sick
From watchin' mtv
I been checkin' out the ho ho ho
Until my eyeballs fail to see
I mean to say that every day
Is just another rotten group
(right you are, girl)
And when it's gonna change, my friend
Will probably make you stoop
I don't know, so i'm
Watchin' and i'm waitin'
Hopin' for the best
Even think i'll go to prayin'
Every time i hear 'em sayin'
There's no way to delay
That trouble comin' every day
No way to delay that trouble
Comin' every day
Wednesday i watched the riot
I seen those cops out on the street
I watched 'em throwin' rocks & stuff & chokin'
In the heat
I listen to reports
About the whisky passin' 'round
I seen the smoke & fire
And the market burnin' down
Watched while everybody
On his street would ha ha ha
To stomp & smash & bash & crash & slash & bust & burn
And i'm
Watchin' and i'm waitin'
Hopin' for the best
Even think i'll go to prayin'
Every time i hear 'em sayin'
There's no way to delay
That trouble comin' every day
There's no way to delay
That trouble comin' every day
I'm watchin' and i'm waitin'
Hopin' for the best
Even think i'll go to prayin'
Every time i hear 'em sayin'

Frank zappa (guitar, lead vocals)
Ray white (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Ike willis (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Bobby martin (keyboards, saxophone, vocals)
Alan zavod (keyboards)
Scott thunes (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)

Hey! what's new in baltimore?
How 'bout that chord to replay?
Hey! what's new in baltimore?
The newest chord in all of baltimore!
Hey! what's new in baltimore?
What's new in baltimore?

Hey! what's new in baltimore?
Hey! what's new in baltimore?
Hey! what's new in baltimore?
What's new in baltimore?
What's new in baltimore?
What's new in baltimore?

Frank zappa (guitar, lead vocals)
Ray white (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Ike willis (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Bobby martin (keyboards, saxophone, vocals)
Alan zavod (keyboards)
Scott thunes (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)

From madam wong's to starwood
To the whiskey on the strip
You can hear the crashing, blasting strum
Of bands that come to be real hip
And get a record contract
From a talent scout some day
They'll sell their ass, their cocks and balls
They'll take the check 'n' walk away
If they're lucky they'll get famous
For a week or two perhaps
They'll buy some ugly clothes to wear
And hope the business don't collapse
Before some stupid magazine
Decides they're really good
They're a tinsel town rebellion band
From downtown hollywood

Tinsel town rebellion, tinsel town rebellion band
It's a little bitty tinsel town rebellion
A tinsel town rebellion band

They used to play all kinds of stuff
And some of it was nice
Some of it was musical
But then they took some guy's advice
To get a record deal, he said,
They would have to be more punk
Forget their chops and play real dumb
Or else they would be sunk
So off they go to s.i.r. to learn some stupid riffs

Oh no! no no no no no no no no! cause the aces are good

And when they think they've got it
They launch a new career
Who gives a fuck if what they play
Is somewhat insincere
Let's dance the blues again
Everybody!
Dance the blues again
Come on and
Dance the blues again
Get down from the...

I write the songs that make the young girls cry!

Did you know that in tinsel town the people down there
Think that substance is a bore
And if your new wave group looks good
They'll hurry on back for more
Of leather groups

I do i!
We'll rock you like a nincompoop!

And plastic groups

Rubber goods!

And groups that look real queer

I'll tumble for ya!
(he'll tumble for ya!)
I'll tumble for ya!
I'll tumble for ya very much!
Moo moo moo moo moo
(home town sausage tambourine)
Moo moo moo moo moo
Moo moo moo moo moo
Moo moo moo moo-wah!

The tinsel town aficionados
Come to see and not to hear
But then again this system works
As perfect as a dream
It works for all of those record company pricks

Let's see that record company prick again

It works for all of those record company pricks

Now do it when it hits the floor
It works for all of those record company pricks
Who come to skim the cream
From the cesspools of excitement
Where jim morrison once stood
It's that tinsel town rebellion
From down down down
(down down down)
Town town town
(town town town)
Holly lolly lolly
(holly lolly lolly
Woody woody pecker pecker
(woody woody pecker pecker)
Wood

Woody pecker pecker!
Woody woody pecker pecker!
Hi ho woody!
Hi ho pecker!
One-adam-twelve, see de pecker!