Platinum C

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here

Y'all act like ya never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
And started whooping her ass worse than before
They first were divorce, throwin?her over furniture (Ahh!)
It's the return of the...
"Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
he just didn't say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said...
Nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement!
(Ha-ha!)
Feminist women love Eminem
"{*Eminem's vocal turntable*} Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walking around grabbing his you-know-what
Flipping the you-know-who, yeah, but he's so cute though"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse than what's going on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
But it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
"We ain't nothing but mammals"
Well, some of us cannibals
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
But if you feel like I feel, I got the anecdote
Women wave your panty-hoes, sing the chorus and it goes

1-

OK, I'm going to attempt to drown myself

[Chorus One]
{Just pull the plug!}
People say that I'm a bad influence
I say the world's already fucked, I'm just addin to it
They say I'm suicidal, teenagers' newest idol {c'mon!}
C'mon do as I do, go ahead get mad and do it
{Just pull the plug!}
People say that I'm a bad influence
I say the world's already fucked, I'm just addin to it
They say I'm suicidal, teenagers' newest idol {c'mon!}
C'mon do as I do, go ahead get mad and do it
{Just let it gooo!}

[Eminem]
Hand me an .8, beam me up and land me in space

Ah yeah, yo!

Intro: Frogg

Whoah!
A get your hands in the air, and get to clappin 'em
and like, back and forth because ah
this is.. what you thought it wasn't
It beez.. the brothers representin' the Dirty Dozen
I be the F-R-O the double G *coughing in background*
And check out the man he goes by the name of er...

Verse One: Eminem

Slim Shady, brain dead like Jim Brady
I'm a M80, you Lil' like that Kim lady
I'm buzzin, Dirty Dozen, naughty rotten rhymer
Cursin at you players worse than Marty Schottenheimer
You wacker than the motherfucker you bit your style from
You ain't gonna sell two copies if you press a double album
Admit it, fuck it, while we comin out in the open
I'm doin acid, crack, smack, coke and smokin dope then
My name is Marshall Mathers, I'm an alcoholic (Hi Marshall)
I have a disease and they don't know what to call it
Better hide your wallet cause I'm comin up quick to strip your cash
Bought a ticket to your concert just to come and whip your ass
Bitch, I'm comin out swingin, so fast it'll make your eyes spin
You gettin knocked the fuck out like Mike Tyson

[Eminem]
When I just a little baby boy,
my momma used to tell me these crazy things
She used to tell me my daddy was an evil man,
she used to tell me he hated me
But then I got a little bit older
and I realized, she was the crazy one
But there was nothin I could do or say to try to change it
cause that's just the way she was

They said I can't rap about bein broke no more
They say I can't rap about coke no more
(AHHH!) Slut, you think I won't choke no whore
til the vocal cords don't work in her throat no more?!
(AHHH!) These motherfuckers are thinkin I'm playin
Thinkin I'm sayin the shit cause I'm thinkin it just to be sayin it
(AHHH!) Put your hands down bitch, I ain't gon' shoot you
I'ma pull +YOU+ to this bullet, and put it through you
(AHHH!) Shut up slut, you're causin too much chaos
Just bend over and take it like a slut, okay Ma?
"Oh, now he's raping his own mother, abusing a whore,
snorting coke, and we gave him the Rolling Stone cover?"
You god damn right BITCH, and now it's too late
I'm triple platinum and tragedies happen in two states
I invented violence, you vile venomous volatile bitches
vain Vicadin, vrinnn Vrinnn, VRINNN! {*chainsaw revs up*}
Texas Chainsaw, left his brains all
danglin from his neck, while his head barely hangs on
Blood, guts, guns, cuts
Knives, lives, wives, nuns, sluts

Chorus: Eminem

Bitch I'ma kill you! You don't wanna fuck with me
Girls leave - you ain't nuttin but a slut to me
Bitch I'ma kill you! You ain't got the balls to beef
We ain't gon' never stop beefin I don't squash the beef
You better kill me! I'ma be another rapper dead
for poppin off at the mouth with shit I shouldn'ta said
But when they kill me - I'm bringin the world with me
Bitches too! You ain't nuttin but a girl to me
.. I said you don't, wanna fuck with Shady (cause why?)
Cause Shady, will fuckin kill you (ah-haha)
I said you don't, wanna fuck with Shady (why?)
Cause Shady, will fuckin kill you..

[Eminem]
Bitch I'ma kill you! Like a murder weapon, I'ma conceal you
in a closet with mildew, sheets, pillows and film you
Buck with me, I been through hell, shut the hell up!
I'm tryin to develop these pictures of the Devil to sell 'em
I ain't ask to rap, but I rap on acid
Got a new blow-up doll and just had a strap-on added
WHOOPS! Is that a subliminal hint? NO!
Just criminal intent to sodomize women again
Eminem offend? NO! Eminem insult
And if you ever give in to him, you give him an impulse
to do it again, THEN, if he does it again
you'll probably end up jumpin out of somethin up on the 10th
(Ahhhhhhhh!) Bitch I'ma kill you, I ain't done this ain't the chorus
I ain't even drug you in the woods yet to paint the forest
A bloodstain is orange after you wash it three or four times
in a tub but that's normal ain't it Norman?
Serial killer hidin murder material
in a cereal box on top of your stereo
Here we go again, we're out of our medicine
out of our minds, and we want in yours, let us in

Chorus (first line starts "Or I'ma kill you!")

[Eminem]
Eh-heh, know why I say these things?
Cause lady's screams keep creepin in Shady's dreams
And the way things seem, I shouldn't have to pay these shrinks
this eighty G's a week to say the same things TWEECE!
TWICE? Whatever, I hate these things
Fuck shots! I hope the weed'll outweigh these drinks
Motherfuckers want me to come on their radio shows
just to argue with 'em cause their ratings stink?
FUCK THAT! I'll choke radio announcer to bouncer
from fat bitch to off seventy-thousand pounds of her
from principal to the study body and counselor
from in-school to before school to out of school
I don't even believe in breathin I'm leavin air in your lungs
just to hear you keep screamin for me to seep it
OKAY, I'M READY TO GO PLAY
I GOT THE MACHETE FROM O.J.
I'M READY TO MAKE EVERYONE'S THROATS ACHE
You faggots keep eggin me on
til I have you at knifepoint, then you beg me to stop?
SHUT UP! Give me your hands and feet
I said SHUT UP when I'm talkin to you
YOU HEAR ME? ANSWER ME!

Chorus (first line starts "Or I'ma kill you!"

[Eminem]
You know I just don't get it
Last year I was nobody
This year I'm sellin records
Now everybody wants to come around like I owe em somethin
Heh, the fuck you want from me, ten million dollars?
Get the fuck out of here

Chorus One: Eminem

You see I'm, just Marshall Mathers (Marshall Mathers)
I'm just a regular guy,
I don't know why all the fuss about me (fuss about me)
Nobody ever gave a fuck before,
all they did was doubt me (did was doubt me)
Now everybody wanna run they mouth
and try to take shots at me (take shots at me)

[Eminem]
Yo, you might see me joggin, you might see me walkin
You might see me walkin a dead rottweiler dog
with it's head chopped off in the park with a spiked collar
hollerin at him cause the son of a bitch won't quit barkin
(grrrr, ARF ARF) Or leanin out a window, with a cocked shotgun
Drivin up the block in the car that they shot 'Pac in
Lookin for Big's killers, dressed in ridiculous
blue and red like I don't see what the big deal is
Double barrel twelve gauge bigger than Chris Wallace
Pissed off, cause Biggie and 'Pac just missed all this
Watchin all these cheap imitations get rich off 'em
and get dollars that shoulda been there's like they switched wallets
And amidst all this Crist' poppin and wristwatches
I had to sit back and just watch and just get nauseous
and walk around with an empty bottle of Remi Martin
startin shit like some 26-year-old skinny Cartman ("God damnit!")
I'm anti-Backstreet and Ricky Martin
with instincts to kill N'Sync, don't get me started
These fuckin brats can't sing and Britney's garbage
What's this bitch retarded? Gimme back my sixteen dollars
All I see is sissies in magazines smiling
Whatever happened to whylin out and bein violent?
Whatever happened to catchin a good-ol' fashioned
passionate ass-whoopin and gettin your shoes coat and your hat tooken?
New Kids on the Block, sucked a lot of dick
Boy/girl groups make me sick
And I can't wait 'til I catch all you faggots in public
I'ma love it.. (hahaha)
Vanilla Ice don't like me (uh-uh)
Said some shit in Vibe to spite me (yup)
Then went and dyed his hair just like me (hehe)
A bunch of little kids wanna swear just like me
and run around screamin, "I don't care, just bite me" (nah nah)
I think I was put here to annoy the world
and destroy your little 4-year-old boy or girl
Plus I was put here to put fear in faggots who spray Faygo Root Beer
and call themselves "Clowns" cause they look queer
Faggot2Dope and Silent Gay
Claimin Detroit, when y'all live twenty miles away (fuckin punks)
And I don't wrestle, I'll knock you fuckin faggots the fuck out
Ask 'em about the club they was at when they snuck out
after they ducked out the back when they saw us and bugged out
(AHHH!) Ducked down and got paintballs shot at they truck, blaow!
Look at y'all runnin your mouth again
when you ain't seen a fuckin Mile Road, South of 10
And I don't need help, from D-12, to beat up two females
in make-up, who may try to scratch me with Lee Nails
"Slim Anus," you damn right, Slim Anus
I don't get fucked in mine like you two little flaming faggots!

Chorus Two: Eminem

Cause I'm, just Marshall Mathers (Marshall Mathers)
I'm not a wrestler guy,
I'll knock you out if you talk about me (you talk about me)
Come and see me on the streets alone
if you assholes doubt me (assholes doubt me)
And if you wanna run your mouth
then come take your best shot at me (your best shot at me)

[Eminem]
Is it because you love me that y'all expect so much of me?
You little groupie bitch, get off me, go fuck Puffy
Now because of this blonde mop that's on top
and this fucked up head that I've got, I've gone pop?
The underground just spunned around and did a 360
Now these kids diss me and act like some big sissies
"Oh, he just did some shit with Missy,
so now he thinks he's too big to do some shit with MC Get-Bizzy"
My fuckin bitch mom's suin for ten million
She must want a dollar for every pill I've been stealin
Shit, where the fuck you think I picked up the habit?
All I had to do was go in her room and lift up her mattress
Which is it bitch, Mrs. Briggs or Ms. Mathers?
It doesn't matter you {*several seconds of silence*} faggot!
Talkin about I fabricated my past
He's just aggravated I won't ejaculate in his ass (Uhh!)
So tell me, what the hell is a fella to do?
For every million I make, another relative sues
Family fightin and fussin over who wants to invite me to supper
All the sudden, I got 90 Slim cousins (Hey it's me!)
A half-brother and sister who never seen me
or even bothered to call me until they saw me on TV
Now everybody's so happy and proud
I'm finally allowed to step foot in my girlfriend's house
Hey-hey! And then to top it off, I walked to the newsstand
to buy this cheap-ass little magazine with a food stamp
Skipped to the last page, flipped right fast
and what do I see? A picture of my big white ass
Okay, let me give you motherfuckers some help:
uhh, here - DOUBLE XL, DOUBLE XL
Now your magazine shouldn't have so much trouble to sell
Ahh fuck it, I'll even buy a couple myself

Chorus One (2X)

[Dr. Dre]
Y'all know me, still the same O.G., but I been low key
Hated on by most these niggaz wit no cheese, no deals and no G's
No wheels and no keys, no boats no snowmobiles, and no ski's
Mad at me cause I can finally afford to provide my family wit groceries
Got a crib wit a studio and it's all full of tracks to add to the wall full of plaques
Hangin up in the office in back of my house like trophies
Did y'all think I'ma let my dough freeze?Hoe please
You better bow down on both knees
Who you think taught you to smoke trees?
Who you think brought you the oldies?
Eazy-E's, Ice Cube's, and D.O.C's
The Snoop D-O-double-G's and the group that said mother-"Fuck Tha Police"
Gave you a tape full of dope beats to bump when you stroll through in your hood
And when your album sales wasn't doin too good who's the Doctor they told you to go see?
Y'all better listen up closely
All you niggaz that said that I turned pop, or The Firm flopped