Punch The Clock

(alternate slower version, submitted by craig ciccone)

The family circle gathers 'round from very far and near
To pass around the same remarks they passed away last year
The little girl you dangled on your knee without mishap
Stirs something in your memory and something in your lap

(chorus)
The juniper berry has a very deadly kiss
I would say that something here is very much amiss
But it's a living and this is the life
For the world and his wife
The world and his wife

The kissing cousins step outside to cuddle and confess
She says sweet nothing at all, it's much more of a mess
She says, "our mother and someone else's father
Went for two weeks holiday in tarmasalata."
Daddy went out the rubbish and he kept on walking
Between mum and the walls, god only knows who does the talking

Chorus

The conversation melts like chocolate down our open jaws
Through the loud appeal of laughter and the counting of [?]
And later on in the evening, through the tears and fol de rol
Come the sentimental feelings for the lure of vitriol
Longing thoughts go hankering for the old home overseas
With a blindfold and a national anthem sung in different keys

Chorus

I've looked at it every way i can
From under and above
And every chance i've had
My love went mad
Love went mad love went mad
You you feel like i feel?
Do you have a heart?
Do you have a heart of iron and steel?

Are you a man now you wear a man's hat?
Are you a man now or are you a rat?
You go to church quiet as a mouse
You're a big cheese now in the workhouse
With these vulgar fractions of the treble clef
I wish you luck with a capital 'f'
A self-made mug is hard to break
A silent partner in someone else's mistake

Every day goes by without a hitch
You feel the urge becoming an itch
The boys in blue are hard to catch
They're busy turning piccadilly
Into brands hatch
But with your fingers in your ears
Feeling bright as a button
Thinking 'thank god there'll be no more
Lamb dressed as mutton'
Playing family favourites on a tissue and a comb
Dying a thousand deaths
In the safety of your own home

I see those newly weds
Their eyes wide and believing
They bill and coo at the mention of chez nous
Appearances can be deceiving

It's just a door and a window
Four walls and a roof
But a home of your own would be shatterproof
A door and a window
Four walls and a roof
But a home of your own would be shatterproof

We papered over all the cracks
And painted a cat's lick and a promise
The landlord was a man of few words
And most of them were ominous

It's just a door and a window
Four walls and a roof
But a home of your own would be shatterproof
A door and a window
Four walls and a roof
But a home of your own would be shatterproof

It was nothing really to write home about
Then one day it all appears too much
Here comes my little hammer and its shatterproof touch

He said, "be practical,
These are most unreasonable demands.
Forget about the broken spectacles
And the damage to your hand."

It's just a door and a window
Four walls and a roof
And the doctors say i'm almost shatterproof

We used to call it sin city
Now it's gone way past that.
Painting the town
And then burning it down.
And even that's old hat.
Now there' a choir of angles
And the fall of rome
Singing "ave maria"
Or "home sweet home"

Chorus:
It's just a heathen town
I hear only evil
As my tongue is tightened.
I used to be god-fearing
Now i'm so frightened
'cause the devil will drag you under
By the sharp tailfin
Of your checquered cab (?)
Now i can't sit down,
I'm going overboard
In this heathen town.

Starts as an a flirtation
And ends up as an expensive habit.
With one eye on her place (??)
And that's his prison
And the other on a girl
Dressed as a rabbit.
Now you can live forever
In your fits and starts
The only stake you cannot raise
Is the one driven through your heart.

Chorus

The people all said sit down,
Sit down you're rocking the boat.
The people all said sit down,
Sit down you're rocking the boat.
'cause the devil will drag you under
By the sharp lapels of your checkered coat.
Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down,
Sit down you're rocking the boat.

Men made out of monkeys
Men made into mice
Happy days are here again
And all the drinks half price
A girl with a trick and a man with a calling

Trying to make a living out of your downfalling
Trying to make a living out of anything at all
Didn't they teach you anything except how to be cruel
In that charm school

You and i as lovers
Were nothing but a farce
Trying to make a silk purse
Out of a sow's arse
Saying 'why don't you watch me'
Hardly speaking sotto voce

I've got a notion
I've got an angle
Take your dreams and promises
And put them through the mangle
They say it's hell to finance too
And i just want to romance you

In this perpetual nightclub
I'll be yours eternal
Though the hours are long
And the noise infernal
Just one shameful act or sometimes two
We make believe we're making do

She used to be the flirting kind
But the boy loved her anyway
He made up his mind
She said, what's a girl to do to be content?
Use your imagination
Time to experiment
Make love like a punishment
So they call her the flirting kind
The flirting kind

You better stop
Stop your running round
I got everything i wanted
I could make up for lost ground

With the flirting kind
The flirting kind
Your love is best
But i'll leave like the rest
The flirting kind
The flirting kind

They say that her fate is sealed
But she's much too beautiful to ever yield
She says, what's a girl to do to be content?
Use your imagination
Time to experiment
Make love like a punishment
So they call her the flirting kind
The flirting kind

She's crying in her sleep
For a man tone deaf
So is a man all over
He's all over, all over town

With the flirting kind
The flirting kind
Your love is best
But i'll leave like the rest
The flirting kind
The flirting kind

Everyone stopped when she walked into the room
Isn't this the greatest thing
Everyone own up but nobody could touch her
Isn't this the greatest thing
Punch the clock keep boxing clever
You'll be young enough for ever
Isn't this the greatest thing
Isn't this the greatest thing
I heard some new confection
Said we can't afford to feel affection
And it's the lastest thing
In and out of matrimony
Never once removed the sony
'cos it's a status thing
So girls like that above described
Are not to be so easily bribed
With a white frock and a ring
Punch the clock and in time you'll get pulled apart
If you're married on paper and not in your heart
But i won't be told that life with the one you love is sordid
Just because some authority says you can't afford it
Since nights were long and days were olden
Woman to man has been beholden
But since then times have been changing
She sends back his tribute of a rose
And says this ring is better suited for the nose
He's always fingering
I punch the clock and it's ok
I know a girl who takes my breath away
And it's the greatest
And it's the greatest thing

The family circle gather round from very far and near
To pass around the same remarks they passed away last year
The little girl you dangle on your knee without mishap
Stirs something in your memory
And something in your lap

But it's a living
This is the life
For the world and his wife
The world and his wife

The kissing cousins slip outside to cuddle and confess
She says sweet nothing at all it's much more of a mess
The conversation melts like chocolate down their open jaws
As the juniper berry slips down just like last night's drawers

To tell the truth our mum ran off with someone else's father
Went for two weeks' holiday in taramasalata
Daddy went out with the rubbish and he kept on walking
Between mum and the walls
God only knows who does the talking

But later on in the evening through the tears and fol de rol
Come the sentimental feelings for the lure of vitriol
Longing thoughts go hankering for the old home overseas
With a blindfold and a national anthem
Sung in different keys

I was committed to life and then commuted to the outskirts
With all the love in the world
Living for thirty minutes at a time with a break in the middle for adverts
But it's a wonderful world within these cinema walls
Where a shower of affection becomes niagara falls
And you wish she could step down from the screen to your seat in the stalls

But if stars are only painted on the ceiling above
Then who can you turn to and who do you love
I want to get out while i still can
I want to be like harry houdini
Now i'm the invisible man

My head is spinning round faster and faster
Here i stand on the edge of disaster
I'm shattered like a piece of crystal porcelain or alabaster
Crowds surround loudspeakers hanging from the lampposts
Listening to the murder mystery
Meanwhile someone's hiding in the classroom
Forging books of history
Never mind there's a good film showing tonight
Where they hang everyone everybody who can read and write
Oh that could never happen here but then again it might