1. _ Cartrouble
Have you ever had a ride in a light blue car?
Have you ever stopped to think
Who's the slave and who's the master?
Have you ever had trouble with your
Automobile?
Have you ever had to
Push push push push?
Cartrouble
You might have seen them very busy at the
Weekends licking and polishing the beep-
Beeps into
Shape and then its proudly up the m.1. m.2.
M.3.
And keep your feet off the upholstery ronnie
Cartrouble oh yeah
And remember this:-
You don't need anything after an icecream
I used to sit at home silently and wonder
Why all the preference is polishing the
Chrome
While all the mothers and the sisters and the
Babies
Sit and rot at home
Cartrouble oh yeah
And remember this
You don't need anything after an icecream
Car carcar trouble car carcar trouble ...
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2. _ Whip In My Valise
When i met you you were just sixteen
Pulling the wings off flies
When an old lady got hit by a truck
I saw the wicked gleam in your eyes
Your sadistic suits my masochistic
And theres a whip in may valise on yeah
Who taught you to torture?
Who taught ya?
Who taught ya?
Who taught ya?
Who taught ya?
Describe the special punishment room
Over my garage, theres a
Whipping post, a vertical beam
You have to be in charge
I payed a packet
For a new straight jacket
And theres a whip in my valise oh yeah
You put my head into the stocks
And then you went to choose a cane
But hey your cat has got nine tails
You like to leave me lame
I can't thank her, my sunday spanker
There's a whip in my valise oh yeah
Who taught you to torture?
Who taught ya?
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3. _ The Idea
I went to the zoo
To look at the animals
The first thing i saw
Was a wallfull of handclaps
Some wearing green hats
And all sucking chocky bars
So i went and looked at
The three horned chameleon
The idea
He walked up and down
Just trying to get close to me
A split little hand
Scratching at the glass
I looked at the snakes
And i looked at the crocodiles
You'd better
Show me the man
Who made all of this
The idea
I could be religious if ...
You didn't have to kneel down
I could be religious if ...
A god would say "hello"
I could be religious if ...
An angel touched my shoulder
I could be religious if ...
They set the hymns to disco
(like this)
Holy holy holy
Lord god almighty
God in three persons
Beloved trinity
Holy holy holy
All the saints adore thee
Christ in three persons
Belovedtrinity
The idea
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4. _ Never Trust A Man (with Egg On His Face)
A man and a woman walking down the
Street
With a son and a daughter it was oh so sweet
When mummy turned to daddy and she
Said:
'my dear, write out your will the end is near'
Then she pulled out the gun
I saw the sparks
Messed up the suit that he'd bought from
Marks
Because
She'd heard the voices from outer space
She'd heard the voices from outer space
She'd heard the voices from outer space
Saying,'never trust a man with egg on his
Face'
Three months later mrs b stands
A smile on her face, blood on her hands
The kiddies got scared and have run to bed
The headlines in the papers said that:
'she was the victim of an awful plan.
Announced through the mouthpiece of a
Little green man
She'd heard the voices from outer space
Saying:
'never trust a man with egg on his face'
La-la
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5. _ Digital Tenderness
Why does this feeling of togetherness
Always scare me away?
Why do the feelings that i have for you
Have to become a word ?
Don't say you "love" me-oh no
Don't ask that from me-oh no no
That alphabet you call love
That alphabet you call love
That alphabet you call love
Is just a digital tenderness
Tenderness
Here is the start for so many broken people
All with a hard luck story
And a sad sad tale
Don't say you love me-oh no
Don't ask that from me-oh no no
That alphabet you call love
That alphabet you call love
That alphabet you call love
Is just a digital tenderness
Tenderness
Sometimes
I need to be by myself
I need to be by your side
I need
Sometimes
I need the company of art
I ned the company of friends
I need you
And my heart is stronger
Than a four-letter-long word
Searching the eyes of so many broken
People
Whose cowardice proved much too strong
For vice
Don't say you "love" me ...
Oh no
Don't ask that from me
No no no
That alphabet you call "love"
That alphabet you call "love"
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6. _ Kick
See a nation on its knees
And its heritage dead
See a nation needing 'civilization'
Like a hole in the head
One race! today! one chant! kick
So now you're trying it on me
But i'm aware of the plan
To save the 'man' you have to kill the 'indian'
By simply shaking his hand
One race! today! one chant! kick
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7. _ Zerox
Lock up your brain
Because i'm here again
I'm never bored to steal your chords
Ooh-ooh zerox machine
Ooh-ooh zerox machine
Give me a line
Or a middle eight
I've got the best so i want the rest
Ooh-ooh zerox machine
Ooh-ooh zerox machine
Lets get together before its too late
Collect up the ideas, duplicate
Filling up the forms, send them off tonight
And you'll be the owner of the copyright
Of the copyright, of the copyright
Time of the essence get your ears to the
Ground
However else can the hits be found?
I may look happy, healthy and clean
A dark brown c voice and suit pristine
But behind the smile there is a zerox
Machine
I'm a zerox machine
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8. _ Cleopatra
Cleopatra did ten thousand in her iifetime
Now that a wide mouth
Cleopatra gave a service with a smile
She was a wide mouthed girl
A wide mouthed girl
Cleopatra did a hundred(100) roman
Centurions
For after dinner mints
Cleopatra used a suction oh so unheard of
She was a wide mouthed girl
A wide mouthed girl (believe it)
Show me a bigger mouth
Show me a bigger mouth
Show me a bigger mouth
Show me a bigger mouth
What a weak distorted image
Elizabeth and richard gave you the screen
Of the wide mouthed girl
Wide mouthed girl
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9. _ Animals And Men
Uno, due, tre, quattro ...
Marinetti boccioni, carra balla palasechi!
Marinetti boccioni, carra balla palasechi!
Futurist manifesto!
Futurist manifesto!
War is the worlds lowly hygeine
Energy and fearlessness
Racing car the beauteous beast
Hurl defiance at the stars
Futurist manifesto!
Voices of animals animals men!
Voices of animals animals men!
Noises obtained by percussion
Metal, wood on skin and bone
Voices of animals and men
Laugh, shout, scream and moan
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10. _ Tabletalk
Don't like your stare
Don't like the arm in the air
Your style is so brash
And that silly moustache
It was, tabletalk
The evil i see
Sends bad vibrations through me
And oh what a square
With your diagonal hair
It was, tabletalk
L said to gilly
'how do you do tabletalk?'
'how do you do tabletalk?'
And this is what she said;
'love love love love...'
The love of his life
Too close to become a wife
And the death of this girl
Came close to saving the world
From his tabletalk
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11. _ Family Of Noise
A lot of people in this great big-world
Say "love everybody"
A lot of people busy busy busy busy busy
Being very modern
Chorus:
But the family of noise is here
And it's come to save everybody
The family of noise is here
And it's come to save you and me
It goes:
The family of noise is here
And it's come to save everybody
The family of noise is here
And it's come to save you and me
A lot of people in the ancient world
They loved only quiet
And then along came the machine
And a new direction
The family of noise is here
And it's come to save everybody
The family of noise is here
And it's come to save you and me
It goes:
In the morning
Last thing at night
In the darkness
Standing in the light
A lot of people in this great big world
Just searching for the "pure" sound
They're just looking to the machine
They don't listen to the noise
The family of noise is here
And it's come to save you and me
-in croydon
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12. _ Nine Plan Failed
After nine years in the army
They took away his brain
They tattooed "defect" on his brow
And signed him up again
He killed ten thousand germans
A hundred japanese
A family of hindus
And a lot of portugese
Nine plan failed
I could never see the point
Of showing them you're boss
When they drag you through the city streets
And naii you to a cross
They took him to the office
They strapped him to the bed
They fastened lots of pretty wires
Securely to his head
They wheeled him down the corridor
Upon a metal trolley
Now he wears big spectacles
And he sings like buddy holly
Nine plan failed
I could never see the point
Of showing them you're boss
When they drag you through the city streets
And nail you to a cross
The world declared its armistice
And took away his guns
And now he satisfies himself
On piss-weak tea and buns
On piss-weak tea and buns
Oh oh
At the disco
Rome is very pretty
And rome is very grand
But the pope lost his four fingers
When they gave this boy his hand to kiss
When they gave this boy his hand to kiss
It wasn't funny no
He wasn't very good at school
His highest grade was c
But he believed the managers
When they said:-
"you leave it all to me"
They gave him suits from saville row
The quality so fine
So now he sits in the desert wastes
Just waiting for a sign
Nine plan failed
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Íslenska 
Dirk Wears White Sox » The lyrics