Disintegration

I've been looking so long at these
Pictures of
You that i almost beleive that they're real i've
Been living so long with my pictures of you that
I almost believe that the pictures are all i can
Feel
Remembering you standing quiet in the rain as
I ran to your heart to be near and we kissed as
The sky fell in holding you close how i always
Held close in your fear remembering you
Running soft through the night you were bigger
And brighter and wider than snow and
Screamed at the make-believe screamed at the
Sky and you finally found all your courage to
Let it all go

Remembering you fallen into my arms crying
For the death of your heart you were stone
White so delicate lost in the cold you were
Always so lost in the dark remembering you
How you used to be slow drowned you were
Angels so much more than everything oh hold
For the last time then slip away quietly open
My eyes but i never see anything

If only i had thought of the right words i could
Have hold on to your heart if only i'd thought of
The right words i wouldn't be breaking apart all
My pictures of you

Looking so long at these pictures of you but i
Never hold on to your heart looking so long for
The words to be true but always just breaking
Apart my pictures of you

There was nothing in the world that i ever
Wanted more than to feel you deep in my heart
There was nothing in the world that i ever
Wanted more than to never feel the breaking
Apart all my pictures of you

I'm running out of time
I'm out of step and closing down
And never sleep for wanting hours
The empty hours of greed and uselessly
Always the need to feel again
The real belief of something more than mockery
If only i could fill my heart with love

Oh i miss the kiss of treachery the shameless
Kiss of vanity the soft and the black and the
Velvety up tight against the side of me and
Mouth and eyes and heart all bleed and run in
Thickening streams of greed as bit by bit it
Starts the need to just let go my party piece
Oh i miss the kiss of treachery the aching kiss
Before i feed the stench of a love for a younger
Meat and the sound that it makes when it cuts
In deep the holding up on bended knees the
Addiction of duplicities as bit by bit it starts
The need to just let go my party piece

But i never said i would stay to the end so i
Leave you with babies and hoping for frequency
Screaming like this in the hope of the secrecy
Screaming me over and over and over i leave
You with photographs pictures of trickery
Stains on the carpet and stains on the scenery
Songs about happiness murmured in dreams
When we both us knew how the ending would
Be...

So it's all come back round to breaking apart
Again breking apart like i'm made up of glass
Again making it up behind my back again
Holding my breath for the fear of sleep again
Holding it up behind my head again cut in deep
To the heart of the bone again round and round
And round and it's coming apart again over and
Over and over

Now that i know that i'm breaking to pieces
I'll pull out my heart and i'll feed it to anyone
Crying for sympathy
Crocodile cry for the love of the crowd and the three cheers from everyone
Dropping through sky through the glass of the roof through the roof of your mouth
Through the mouth of your eye through the eye
Of the needle it's easier for me to get closer to
Heaven than ever feel whole again

I never said i would stay to the end i knew
I would leave you with babies and everything
Screaming like this in the hole of sincerity
Screaming me over and over and over i leave
You with photographs pictues of trickery
Stains on the carpet and stains on the memory
Songs about happiness murmured in dreams when
Both of us knew how the end always is...

How the end always is...

I'm so glad you came i'm so glad
You remembered to see how we're ending our last
Dance together expectant too puctual but
Prettier than ever i really believed that this time
It's forever
But older than me now more constant more real
And the fur and the mouth and the innocence
Turned to hair and contentment that hangs in
Abesement a woman now standing where once
There was only a girl

I'm so glad you came i'm so glad you
Remembered the walking through walls in the
Heart of december the blindness of happiness
Of falling down laughing and i really believed
That this time was forever

But christmas falls late now flatter and colder
And never as bright as when we used to fall all
This in an instant before i can kiss you a woman
Now standing were once there was only a girl

I'm so glad that you came i'm so glad you
Remembered to see how we're ending our last
Dance together reluctantly cautiously but
Prettier than ever i really beleived that this time
It's forever

But christmas falls late now flatter and colder
And never as bright as when we used to fall and
Even if we drink i don't think we would kiss in
The way that we did when the woman was only a
Girl

Whenever i'm alone with you you make me feel
Like i am home again whenever i'm alone with
You you make me feel like i am whole again
Whenever i'm alone with you you make me feel
Like i am young again whenever i'm alone with
You you make me feel like i am fun again

However far away i will always love you however
Long i stay i will always love you whatever
Words i say i will always love you i will always
Love you

Whenever i'm alone with you you make me feel
Like i am free again whenever i'm alone with
You you make me feel like i am clean again

However far away i will always love you however
Long i stay i will always love you whatever
Words i say i will always love you i will always
Love you

Kiss me goodbye
Pushing out before i sleep
Can't you see i try
Swimming the same deep water as you is hard
"the shallow drowned lose less than we"
You breathe the strangest twist upon your lips
"and we shall be together..."
"kiss me goodbye bow your head and join with me"
And face pushed deep reflections meet
The strangest twist upon your lips and dissapear
The ripples clear and laughing break
Against your feet and laughing break the mirror sweet
"so we shall be together..."

"kiss me goodbye" pushing out before i sleep
It's lower now and slower now the strangest
Twist upon your lips but i don't see and i dont
Feel but tightly hold up silently my hands
Before my fading eyes and in my eyes your
Smile the very last thing before i go...

I will kiss you i will kiss you i will kiss you
Forever on nights like this i will kiss you i will
Kiss you and we shall be together...