unknown

Rumour spreadin' a-'round in that texas town
'bout that shack outside la grange
And you know what i'm talkin' about.
Just let me know if you wanna go
To that home out on the range.
They gotta lotta nice girls.

Have mercy.
A haw, haw, haw, haw, a haw.
A haw, haw, haw.

Well, i hear it's fine if you got the time
And the ten to get yourself in.
A hmm, hmm.
And i hear it's tight most ev'ry night,
But now i might be mistaken.
Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.

Have mercy.

(diane warren)
Originally performed by toni braxton
Available on her album, secrets
Performed by crash test dummies during live performances, never recorded

Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Come back and bring back the smile
Come and take these tears away
I need your arms to hold me now
The nights are so unkind
Bring back those nights when i held you beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked outta my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart

Take back that sad word good-bye
Bring back the joy to my life
Don't leave me here with these tears
Come and kiss this pain away
I can't forget the day you left
Time is so unkind
And life is cruel without you here beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked outta my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart

Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Bring back those nights when i held you beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked outta my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many, many nights
Un-break my

Un-break my heart
Come back an say you love me
Un-break my heart
Sweet darlin'
Without you i just can't go on
Can't go on

i can barely feel the sheets with all these crumbs down in my bed
How can i get to sleep with all this buzzin' in my head
And who'd have ever thought i'd not complain about a mess
Servers me right i guess
This is what i get
For eatin' crackers with my gin
And drinkin' in my sunday dress

The telephone is by the bottle, which is always by my bed
From time to time i give it a rattle to make sure that it's not dead
I will wait here for your call till i run out of cigarettes
I love to play the part of the damsel in distress
Flickin' ashes in my coffee
Drinkin' in my sunday dress

Well i

Oh baby baby
Oh baby baby

Oh baby baby
How was i supposed to know
That something wasn't right here?
Oh baby baby
I shouldn't have let you go
And now you're out of sight, yeah

Show me
How you want it to be
Tell me, baby
'cause i need to know now, oh because

My lonliness is killing me
I must confess i still believe
When i'm not with you i lose my mind
Give me a sign
Hit me baby one more time

Oh baby baby
The reason i breathe is you
Boy, you got me blinded
Oh pretty baby
There's nothing that i wouldn't do
That's not the way i planned it

Show me
How you want it to be
Tell me, baby
'cause i need to know now, oh because

My lonliness is killing me
I must confess i still believe
When i'm not with you i lose my mind
Give me a sign
Hit me baby one more time

Oh baby baby
Oh baby baby

Oh baby baby
How was i supposed to know?
Oh pretty baby
I shouldn't have let you go

I must confess
That my lonliness
Is killing me now
Don't you know i still believe?
That you will be here
Give me a sign
Hit me baby one more time

My lonliness is killing me
I must confess i still believe
When i'm not with you i lose my mind
Give me a sign
Hit me baby one more time

My lonliness
Is killing me now
Don't you know i still believe
That you will be here
Give me a sign
Hit me baby one more time

Oh you are a mucky kid
Dirty as a dustbin lid
When he hears the things that you did
You'll get a belt from your dad

You really have your old man's nose
So crimson, in the dark it glows
If you're not asleep when the boozers close
You'll get a belt from your dad

You look so scruffy lying there
Strawberry jam all through your hair
Though in the world you haven't a care
And your mummy's got so many

Oh you are a mucky kid
Dirty as a dustbin lid
When he hears the things that you did
You'll get a belt from your dad

Although you have no silver spoon
Better days are coming soon
Sister's working at the mill
And she gets her pay on friday
Perhaps one day we'll make a splash
If the irish sweeps provides the cash
We'll have a house that's oh-so posh
And buy your dad a brewery

Oh you are a mucky kid
Dirty as a dustbin lid
When he hears the things that you did
You'll get a belt from your dad

You really have your old man's face
You're growing up a real hard case
But no one else can take your place
Go to sleep for mummy

Sometimes its hard to be a woman
Givin' all your love to just one man
You'll have bad times
And he'll have good times
Doin' things that you don't understand

But if you love him you'll forgive him
Even though he's hard to understand
And if you love him
Oh, be proud of him
'cause, after all, he's just a man

Stand by your man
Give him two arms to cling to
And something warm to come to
When nights are cold and lonely

Stand by your man
And show the world you love him
Keep givin' all the love you can
Stand by your man

(repeat last stanza)

Brad:
She is the queen, oh yeah, alright
Long live the queen, oh yeah, alright

Ellen:
It's not that i'm so tricky
It's not that i'm so dumb
It's not that i'm a filter queen
That sucks up all the scum

Put two and two together
Put on a little salt and pepper, baby
Put two and two together
Put on a little salt and pepper
Let's have a little get-together, baby

We played some little tricks
And told some stupid lies
I've spent some time with filter queens
And baked some apple pies

Put two and two together
Put on a little salt and pepper, baby
Put two and two together
Put on a little salt and pepper
Let's have a little get-together, baby

Brad:
She is the queen, oh yeah, alright
Long live the queen, oh yeah, alright

Ellen:
I like the smell of your upholstery
I like the polish on your hood
So flip the switch on this filter queen
And i'll do what i do so good

Put two and two together
Put on a little salt and pepper, baby
Put two and two together
Put on a little salt and pepper
Let's have a little get-together, baby

Brad:
She is the queen, oh yeah, alright
Long live the queen, oh yeah, alright

Ellen:
Put two and two together
Put on a little salt and pepper, baby
Put two and two together
Put on a little salt and pepper
Let's have a little get-together, baby

Take off your mink coat, take off your muff
Get on the table and show us your stuff
Right here next to me
I'm a fat old man, sweatin' and huffin'
A gin in my hand and your pretty little muffin
Right here next to me

Just don't feed me with no tube
Or change my dirty diaper
If i'm back at mommy's boob
Call in the frickin' snipers
And just shoot me, baby

Stuff me in the cracks, stuff me
In the toilet, sweetie, put me in the trash
But be next to me
Send me to my room, hold me down
And spank me, use the wooden spoon
But be next to me

Just don't feed me with no tube
Or change my dirty diaper
If i'm back at mommy's boob
Call in the frickin' snipers
And just shoot me, baby

Dip me in the river
You'll never wash my dirt away
Rip out my liver, baby
But be next to me

Just don't feed me with no tube
Or change my dirty diaper
If i'm back at mommy's boob
Call in the frickin' snipers
And just shoot me, baby

When i wake up, well, i know i'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you
When i go out, yeah, i know i'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you

If i get drunk, well, i know i'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you
And if i haver, hey, i know i'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you

But i would walk five hundred miles
And i would walk five hundred more
Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles
To fall down at your door

When i'm working, yes, i know i'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's working hard for you
And when the money comes in for the work i do
I'll pass almost every penny on to you

When i come home, oh, i know i'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you
And if i grow old, well, i know i'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you

But i would walk five hundred miles
And i would walk five hundred more
Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles
To fall down at your door

When i'm lonely, well, i know i'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's lonely without you
And when i'm dreamin' well, i know i'm gonna dream
I'm gonna dream about the time when i'm with you

When i go out, well, i know i'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you
When i come home, yes, i know i'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home with you
I'm gonna be the man who's coming home with you

But i would walk five hundred miles
And i would walk five hundred more
Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles
To fall down at your door

And i would walk five hundred miles
And i would walk five hundred more
Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles
To fall down at your door

You said you like mixin' it up
I said i don't like to chat
You said you smoked the big kahunas
I said i'm not like that

I'm just chillin', i'm just hangin'
So don't be spillin' your stuff on me
I'm just chillin', i'm just hangin', baby

You said you played some pocket pool
I said i played some myself
You wanna try it together sometime
I only play by myself

I'm just chillin', i'm just hangin'
So don't be spillin' your stuff on me
I'm just chillin', i'm just hangin', baby

You've got your friends in high places
Babe, i can pull my own strings
You said i'm a name in a phone book
I don't have one of those things

I'm just chillin', i'm just hangin'
So don't be spillin' your stuff on me
I'm just chillin', i'm just hangin', baby

You said we're cogs in a great big machine
Babe, i've got the right tools
You said it's all just a crazy dream
Well, i've got plenty of fuel

I'm just chillin', i'm just hangin'
So don't be spillin' your stuff on me
I'm just chillin', i'm just hangin', baby
I'm just chillin', i'm just hangin'
So don't be spillin' your stuff on me
I'm just chillin', i'm just hangin', baby

I want it cheap, i want it now
I want it fast, and i want it with feeling
I want it deep, i want a vow
I want it to last, and i want it with meaning

I will come and get you in the morning
We'll just go and not give any warning

I am the cheap, i'm right here now
I'm moving fast, and i've got the feeling
I'm going deep, i've made my vow
It is my last, and it's the one i'm keeping

I will come and get you in the morning
We'll just go and not give any warning
I will come and get you in the morning

I'm on my game, i walk the walk
I smell the smell, and i feel the feeling
It's in my name, i talk the talk
I ring the bell, and i do the dealing

I am the name, i am the walk
I've got the smell, and i've got the feeling
I'm going deep, i'm going fast
I'm going now, and i'm going with meaning

I will come and get you in the morning
We'll just go and not give any warning
I will come and get you in the morning
We'll just go and not give any warning
I will come and get you in the morning
We'll just go and not give any warning
I will come and get you in the morning

The steaks are getting cold on the table
I've got the tv on to "that's incredible"
Every other woman is hot apple pie
So why isn't he home on time?

He's working late
And there aint nothin in the world that you can do
To bring him home to you
'cause when he says he's working late..

Oh lord, when we first moved in together
He just couldn't wait
To hold me in his arms
So he'd never hesitate

Talk in words love, make me feel like a little girl
Well now his living in another world

He's working late
And there aint nothin in the world that you can do
To bring him home to you
'cause when he says he's working late..

You give him all the love you could
And sometimes i give alone
You think he's looking for something he can't find at home
Well tomorrow night, lets not go home

-harmonica-

I just go home, hang out by the tv set
There aint no more shows on and he aint home yet
Try to close my eyes, and tell myself
That he would never fall in love with someone else

He's working late
And there aint nothin in the world that you can do
To bring him home to you
'cause when he says he's working..

He's working late
And there aint nothin in the world that you can do
To bring him home to you
'cause when he says he's..
He's working late - oh i know he's working
He's working late - then he just better be working late

[brad]
Give me a bud and a slice
And leave me alone
If i want your advice, i'll ask ya
They tell me caviar's nice, but i wouldn't know
So what's it to you?
Who needs your airs
And your micro-brew?

[together]
Look at the sun
See how it hangs
So still in the sky

[brad]
Give me the new tv guide
And get off the phone
Go on and take sides, it's not my problem
Waiting for worlds to collide in the comfort of home
They say lucifer's free
What shall we do?
Don't ask me

[joe]
But it's not like i never go beyond these walls
I've got culture
I go to the movies
Last week, saw the new tarantino
Starring - shit, what's that guy's name again?
You know the scene where they put the blowtorch to his balls?
Bloody brilliant
My daughter threw up, she didn't understand
I told her, it's just like the beano
It's not real
And if it was, well, so what?
Let's all lighten up

[brad]
Give me a bud and a slice
And leave out the book
I've got one of those, thank you
As for the guru you prize, he might be a crook
And la's so hot
Still, i might go
Or might not

[together]
Look at the sun
See how it hangs
So still in the sky

Mccormack and richard tauber are sitting by the bed
There's a glass of punch below your feet and an angel at your head
There's devils on each side of you with bottles in their hands
Gimme one more drop of poison and you'll dream of foreign lands

When you pissed yourself in frankfurt and got syph down in cologne
And you heard the rattling death trains as you lay there all alone
Frank ryan brought you whiskey in a brothel in madrid
And you decked some fucking blackshirt who was screaming at all the yids
At the sick bed of cuchulainn we'll kneel and say a prayer
And the ghosts are rattling at the door and the devil's in his chair

And in the euston tavern you said it was your show
But they wouldn't give you service so you kicked the windows out
They took you out into the street and kicked you in the brains
So you walked back in through the revolving door and did it all again
At the sick bed of cuchulainn we'll kneel and say a prayer
And the ghosts are rattling at the door and the devil's in his chair

Do you remember that foul evening when you heard the banshees howl?
There were lazy drunken bastards singing billy and the bowl
They took you up to midnight mass and left you in the lurch
So you dropped a button in the pledge and spewed up in the church

Now you'll sing a song of liberty with blacks and paks and jocks
And they'll take you from this dump you're in and stick you in a box
Then they'll take you to cloughprior and shove you in the ground
But you'll stick your head back out and shout "we'll have another round"
At the sick bed of cuchulainn we'll kneel and say a prayer
And the ghosts are rattling at the door and the devil's in his chair

Hello, mr. fussy
Hello, mrs. nice
Have you ever shared a bathtub
Full of beer and ice?

I know you want to
I know you can
Put down your children
And free up your hands

Come on and free up your hands
Come on and free up your hands

Do you still like to kiss her?
Do you still hold her hand?
Would you cheat with her sister?
Do you march to her band?

And when you're by yourself
With a drink in one hand
Do you break your little rule
And give yourself the other hand?

C'mon and give yourself a hand
C'mon and give yourself a hand
C'mon and give yourself a hand
C'mon and give yourself a hand

I know your wife's uncle
He's a very nice man
He's got long clever fingers
On his lovely pink hands

Did you give that bad boy
The back of your hand?
I know you want to
I know you can

Give him the back of your hand
Give him the back of your hand
Give him the back of your hand
Give him the back of your hand