Pants

There's a power within me
There's an empire down below
Where energy and miracles
Are free and often flow

So come on everyody now

Men, women, young and old
I can feel your pain
If you touch my pants

My pants love you,
My pants need you,
My pants want you in the middle of the night

C'mon everybody now want my pants
C'mon everybody now love my pants
C'mon everybody now touch my pants
C'mon everybody now lick my pants

My pants, they're a miracle
You know their strength
You know what they feel
When i move they do a dance,
Everybody loves my funky pants
London, england, paris, france,
C'mon down for a little romance
Everybody take a chance

C'mon on down and touch my pants

Everybody, everybody....
(touch my pants)

Mc combusta rockin the house with the microphone
He's gonna tell you a little bit about where he's from

I'm a sausage, i'm a sausage
I'm a spicy european sausage, baby

How ya doin' y'all,
Are you really getting funky now?
Are you ready to get funky in the middle of the night, c'mon

Let me hear you say "yo"
Let me hear you say "yoyo"
Let me hear you say.... (chanted gibberish)

Take a chance with my pants
Unzip my pants
Pants, pants (repeat)

Pants are like jesus
They can cure all known diseases
They get stained when you dip them in cheeses
They get cold in the breezes
You're an ocean, they're in season
You're a cat, they get fleases
My pants they always pleases

My pants can love you baby,
C'mon everybody now love my pants
C'mon everybody now lick my pants.

Hey!
Hey you know here i am
I'm here now
Here i am, i'm standing
I'm right here
Here i am, on my legs
I'm standing, standing here
Under me there is a place
And i'm standing on it
Here i am
And i'll be here forever
Unless i move over here

Remember how we dreamed
Remember how we screamed
The vegetables were steamed
The people that we seemed to know there<> there i was just a minute ago
But i'm not there now, no
I'm here, here again
But a different here
An eternal here, and eternal now
And i'm walking, i'm moving
I see you
My eyes are looking
I know you're there
Because at the end of my look you're there
I have eyes in my head
And i love you
When i look at you, you sometimes see me
If you're looking at me
And if you're not looking, then you don't
But i love you, i love you

Remember how we dreamed
Remember how we screamed
The vegetables were steamed
The people that we seemed to know there

I love you
I'm all alone
I'm here in my house alone
And i think of you
Lying in my bed
I look over out of the window
I see your face
And i'm frightened
'cause i live on the eighth floor
You must be really, really tall
You scare me

Remember how we dreamed
Remember how we screamed
The vegetables were steamed
The people that we seemed to know there

Don't forget
I'll be here
You know where i am
Eyes in my head
Teeth in my mouth
Legs on my body
Hey.

He lives down by the furnace
Janitor, janitor
And he makes the young kids nervous
Janitor, janitor
He tells everybody to call him tony
But he smells like oil, and his ass is bony
Janitor, janitor

He's got a lot of charms
Janitor, janitor
Like the prison tattoos on his arms
Janitor, janitor
He cleans the bathroom and tells dirty jokes
He dresses like a woman and rolls his own smokes
He's the janitor, janitor
He's the janitor, janitor

Hey there neil, how ya doin'

Hey, not too bad.

Hey, i guess i saw you talkin' to the janitor this morning


Well, strange thing...i went in early, eh, to practice my volleyball spike in the gym and he was buffin' the floor with that electronic, buffomatic floor waxing thing he's got, eh? and so i was
G to spike, eh, and he was tryin' to buff all around me as i was tryin' to spike, and i said, "hey pal, i'm tryin' to concentrate, mr. janitor, and i wanna work on my spike." and he sa
Quot;oh yeah?" and he dressed up like kate smith and touched himself on the leg with a big wooden spoon and then he waxed me so hard i felt the hairs givin' way on myself, and then i make a
Le kind of oven mitt with what i could put back together.

How's your spike now?

Brilliant!

I guess it would be.

Hey neils! neil! neils! neils! neil alert!

I was talkin' to the janitor this mornin' too, ya know.

Ohhhh..

Yeah, he took me down, he took me down behind the furnace

Oh really?

And he showed me that sausage collection that he's got.

I heard he only has one.

Yeah, but it's real pretty.

One day i wanna be like him
Janitor, janitor
Masturbating as i clean the gym
Janitor, janitor
I think it must be a really nice life
Cleaning your nails with a hunting knife
Being stained yellow, the rest of your life.
Janitor, janitor

He lived by the sea
The dolphin boy
And he loved the dolphins that swam so free
The dolphin boy
He was at one with the ocean
The dolphins he loved with devotion
And he could not hide his emotion
The dolphin boy

So he abandoned the land up above
The dolphin boy
So he could be with the mammals he loved
The dolphin boy
He was fulfilled in heart and mind
He was at one with all dolphin kind
And he knew god's greater design
Yes!
The dolphin boy

Then he was hit by a boat
The dolphin boy
He was torn wide open from groin to throat
The dolphin boy
He said to the dolphins, "please help me."
The dolphins said simply, "e! e! e!"
And they nibbled the pieces as they drifted free
Goodbye to dolphin boy
So long to dolphin boy

I belong to the church of the well-endowed man
My member's big as a grizzly bear's head
My pants can't hide the bulge god gave to me

I'm proud of the width and the length of my part
You should see me break the young girls' hearts
I always draw a crowd when i take a pee

Well i don't mean to brag but my main piece drags
And when i got to bed the mattress sags
It's hard to doze when you're long as a firehose
Oh lemmee tell ya...

We belong to the church of the well-endowed man
If you measured us in feet we'd be over ten
Thank you lord for making us well-endowed men

Thank you lord for making us well-endowed men.

I'll buy you an electric car
So we can go out and look at the stars some time
I'll adopt a third world family
And we can send them letters at christmas time

I'll give up meat

Give up meat?

Are you crazy?

Maybe not, but i won't eat it in front of you
We can hire a van
A propane van
And let all the animals out of the zoo

Environment girl
Let's live in a land of windmills
Environment girl
You give me a whirl

I'll buy you a needle and thread
And fly you high, so you can sew up the ozone layer
When we're old and i've gone bald
We'll hit the town in my new recycled hair
My new recycled hair
No cfcs!

Environment girl
Let's make the world young again
Environment girl
As long as i'm home before ten