The Basement Tapes

(by j.r. robertson and r. manuel)

Wrote a letter this mornin',
Put it in your hat,
'cause no one to read it
And i know you knew that.
I bought a joke, a trick or two,
Just to bring and show you,
Caught ya with the trickster too.
Sometimes i wonder how ya knew
A hypnotist, fancytalker,
Ruben remus ain't no doctor

I knew the man and tried to remember
Just where it was that i'd seen his face.
Long ago, in a movie show,
He was like that man singin' bass.
Knew him by his nurs'ry rhyme:
The story of the rabbit man.
Fell right in and said to him:
"i'd like to help you if i can."
I know the film would only shock ya,
Ruben remus ain't no doctor!

He only needed what you had,
Asked for nothing more,
Said he'd like to take you on,
But it's been done before.
You couldn't see he's a travelin' man
And he cannot take your hand.
It's very hard to understand
Why his songs were never banned.
Guess the man would never knock ya,
Ruben remus ain't no doctor!

No one seen ya since he's been gone,
It's been a day, maybe more.
I took a walk in your yard
And knocked on your back door.
Why don't you let me in?
I'm not the man who did ya in.
Is mr. remus still your friend?
You say you don't remember him.
Turn me down, would ya?
Well, i've got news for you.
Turn me down would ya,
Can't ya tell
I'm gonna change your mind before i'm... trough...

(r. danko and j.r. robertson)


Bessie was more than just a friend of mine
We shared the good times with the bad
Now many a year has passed me by
I still recall the best thing i ever had

I'm just goin' down the road t' see bessie
Oh, see her soon
Goin' down the road t' see bessie smith
When i get there i wonder what she'll do

Now all the crazy things i had to try
Well i tried them all and then some
But if you're lucky one day you find out
Where it is you're really comin' from

I'm just goin' down the road t' see bessie
Oh, see her soon
Goin' down the road t' see bessie smith
When i get there i wonder what she'll do

Now in my day i've made some foolish moves
But back then, i didn't worry 'bout a thing
And now again i still wonder to myself
Was it her sweet love or the way that she could sing

I'm just goin' down the road t' see bessie
Oh, see her soon
Goin' down the road t' see bessie smith
When i get there i wonder what she'll do

There's so much time has gone right on by
I didn't think one could be so wrong
And then one night i was drinkin' and a-thinkin'
In the bottom of the glass i could see bessie's face so strong

I'm just goin' down the road t' see bessie
Oh, see her soon
Goin' down the road t' see bessie smith
When i get there i wonder what she'll do

When she sees me will she know what i've been through?
Will old times start to feelin' like new?
When i get there will our love still feel so true?
Yet all i have, i'll be a-bringin' it to you
Oh bessie, sing them old-time blues

Old man sailin' in a dinghy boat
Down there
Old man down is baitin' a hook
On there
Gonna pull man down on a suckling hook
Gonna pull man into the suckling brook
Oh yeah!

Now, he's underneath that apple suckling tree
Oh yeah!
Under that apple suckling tree
Oh yeah!
That's underneath that tree
There's gonna be just you and me
Underneath that apple suckling tree
Oh yeah!

I push him back and i stand in line
Oh yeah!
Then i hush my sadie and stand in line
Oh yeah!
Then i hush my sadie and stand in line
I get on board in two-eyed time
Oh yeah!

Under that apple suckling tree
Oh yeah!
Under that apple suckling tree
Oh yeah!
Underneath that tree
There's just gonna be you and me
Underneath that apple suckling tree
Oh yeah!

Now, who's on the table. who's to tell me?
Oh yeah!
Who's on the table, who's to tell me?
Oh yeah!
Who should i tell, oh, who should i tell?
The forty-nine of you like bats out of hell
Oh underneath that old apple suckling tree

Don't ya tell henry,
Apple's got your fly.

I went down to the river on a saturday morn,
A-lookin' around just to see who's born.
I found a little chicken down on his knees,
I went up and yelled to him,
"please, please, please!"
He said, "don't ya tell henry,
Don't ya tell henry,
Don't ya tell henry,
Apple's got your fly."

I went down to the corner at a-half past ten,
I's lookin' around, i wouldn't say when.
I looked down low, i looked above,
And who did i see but the one i love.
She said, "don't ya tell henry,
Don't ya tell henry,
Don't ya tell henry,
Apple's got your fly."

Now, i went down to the beanery at half past twelve,
A-lookin' around just to see myself.
I spotted a horse and a donkey, too,
I looked for a cow and i saw me a few.
They said, "don't ya tell henry,
Don't ya tell henry,
Don't ya tell henry,
Apple's got your fly."

Now, i went down to the pumphouse the other night,
A-lookin' around, it was outa sight.
I looked high and low for that big ol' tree,
I did go upstairs but i didn't see nobody but me.
I said, "don't ya tell henry,
Don't ya tell henry,
Don't ya tell henry,
Apple's got your fly."

Now, too much of nothing
Can make a man feel ill at ease.
One man's temper might rise
While another man's temper might freeze.
In the day of confession
We cannot mock a soul.
Oh, when there's too much of nothing,
No one has control.

Say hello to valerie
Say hello to vivian
Send them all my salary
On the waters of oblivion

Too much of nothing
Can make a man abuse a king.
He can walk the streets and boast like most
But he wouldn't know a thing.
Now, it's all been done before,
It's all been written in the book,
But when there's too much of nothing,
Nobody should look.

Say hello to valerie
Say hello to vivian
Send them all my salary
On the waters of oblivion

Too much of nothing
Can turn a man into a liar,
It can cause one man to sleep on nails
And another man to eat fire.
Ev'rybody's doin' somethin',
I heard it in a dream,
But when there's too much of nothing,
It just makes a fella mean.

Say hello to valerie
Say hello to vivian
Send them all my salary
On the waters of oblivion

Crash on the levee, mama,
Water's gonna overflow,
Swamp's gonna rise,
No boat's gonna row.
Now, you can train on down
To williams point,
You can bust your feet,
You can rock this joint.
But oh mama, ain't you gonna miss your best friend now?
You're gonna have to find yourself
Another best friend, somehow.

Now, don't you try an' move me,
You're just gonna lose.
There's a crash on the levee
And, mama, you've been refused.
Well, it's sugar for sugar
And salt for salt,
If you go down in the flood,
It's gonna be your own fault.
Oh mama, ain't you gonna miss your best friend now?
You're gonna have to find yourself
Another best friend, somehow.

Well, that high tide's risin',
Mama, don't you let me down.
Pack up your suitcase,
Mama, don't you make a sound.
Now, it's king for king,
Queen for queen,
It's gonna be the meanest flood
That anybody's seen.
Oh mama, ain't you gonna miss your best friend now?
Yes, you're gonna have to find yourself
Another best friend, somehow.

I'm going down to rose marie's
She never does me wrong.
She puts it to me plain as day
And gives it to me for a song.

It's a wicked life but what the hell
The stars ain't falling down.
I'm standing outside the taj mahal
I don't see no one around.

Goin' to acapulco
Goin' on the run.
Goin' down to see fat gut
Goin' to have some fun.
Yeah goin' to have some fun.

Now, whenever i get up
And i ain't got what i see
I just make it down to rose marie's
'bout a quarter after three.

There are worse ways of getting there
And i ain't complainin' none.
If the clouds don't drop and the train don't stop
I'm bound to meet the sun.

Goin' to acapulco
Goin' on the run.
Goin' down to see some girl
Goin' to have some fun.
Yeah goin' to have some fun.

Now, if someone offers me a joke
I just say no thanks.
I try to tell it like it is
And keep away from pranks.

Well, sometime you know when the well breaks down
I just go pump on it some.
Rose marie, she likes to go to big places
And just set there waitin' for me to come.

Goin' to acapulco
Goin' on the run.
Goin' down to see some girl
Goin' to have some fun.
Yeah goin' to have some fun.

Well, the comic book and me, just us, we caught the bus.
The poor little chauffeur, though, she was back in bed
On the very next day, with a nose full of pus.
Yea! heavy and a bottle of bread
Yea! heavy and a bottle of bread
Yea! heavy and a bottle of bread

It's a one-track town, just brown, and a breeze, too,
Pack up the meat, sweet, we're headin' out
For wichita in a pile of fruit.
Get the loot, don't be slow, we're gonna catch a trout
Get the loot, don't be slow, we're gonna catch a trout
Get the loot, don't be slow, we're gonna catch a trout

Now, pull that drummer out from behind that bottle.
Bring me my pipe, we're gonna shake it.
Slap that drummer with a pie that smells.
Take me down to california, baby
Take me down to california, baby
Take me down to california, baby

Yes, the comic book and me, just us, we caught the bus.
The poor little chauffeur, though, she was back in bed
On the very next day, with a nose full of pus.
Yea! heavy and a bottle of bread
Yea! heavy and a bottle of bread
Yea! heavy and a bottle of bread

(by j.r. robertson)



Stranded out in the night,
Eliza took me down
To see the widow give
Rain to the town.
It's against the law
To be a tonic man,
But the widow knows
She's got the upper hand.
So i went on in
Feelin' kinda wheezy.
You know she soothed my mind, boys,
She rocked me kinda slow and easy
All day and all night.

Pick a card before you go
It's a long trip to mexico.

Eliza wait by the door,
I can't stay here anymore, no, no.

Then she took a pill
She washed her feet in the mud
She said "look out son,
You know, i just ordered a flood
For forty days and forty nights".

Then i dropped my shoes,
Eliza called my name.
She said it looked to her
Like it's gonna rain.
Then the cotton king
Came in chokin'
And the widow laughed and said:
"i ain't jokin'.
Take once for all"
She said "now don't ya tease me.
I just fell in love, boy,
So rock me kinda slow and kinda easy,
All day and all night."

Sweet william said
With a drunken head:
"if i had a boat,
I'd help y'all float".
Eliza stood there watching,
William in a trance,
As the widow did the st. vitus dance.
But just then an old man
With a boat named "breezy"
Said: "you can ride with clyde, boys,
If you rock it kinda slow and easy,
All day and all night".

After a while we took in the clothes,
Nobody said very much.
Just some old wild shirts and a couple pairs of pants
Which nobody really wanted to touch.
Mama come in and picked up a book
An' papa asked her what it was.
Someone else asked, "what do you care?"
Papa said, "well, just because."
Then they started to take back their clothes,
Hang 'em on the line.
It was january the thirtieth
And everybody was feelin' fine.

The next day everybody got up
Seein' if the clothes were dry.
The dogs were barking, a neighbor passed,
Mama, of course, she said, "hi!"
"have you heard the news?" he said, with a grin,
"the vice-president's gone mad!"
"where?" "downtown." "when?" "last night."
"hmm, say, that's too bad!"
"well, there's nothin' we can do about it," said the neighbor,
"it's just somethin' we're gonna have to forget."
"yes, i guess so," said ma,
Then she asked me if the clothes was still wet.

I reached up, touched my shirt,
And the neighbor said, "are those clothes yours?"
I said, "some of 'em, not all of 'em."
He said, "ya always help out around here with the chores?"
I said, "sometime, not all the time."
Then my neighbor, he blew his nose
Just as papa yelled outside,
"mama wants you t' come back in the house and bring them clothes."
Well, i just do what i'm told,
So, i did it, of course.
I went back in the house and mama met me
And then i shut all the doors.

Now, there's a certain thing
That i learned from jim
That he'd always make sure i'd understand
And that is that there's a certain way
That a man must swim
If he expects to live off
Of the fat of the land.
Open the door, homer,
I've heard it said before.
Open the door, homer,
I've heard it said before
But i ain't gonna hear it said no more.

Now, there's a certain thing
That i learned from my friend, mouse
A fella who always blushes
And that is that ev'ryone
Must always flush out his house
If he don't expect to be
Goin' 'round housing flushes.
Open the door, homer,
I've heard it said before.
Open the door, homer,
I've heard it said before
But i ain't gonna hear it said no more.

"take care of all your memories"
Said my friend, mick
"for you cannot relive them
And remember when you're out there
Tryin' to heal the sick
That you must always
First forgive them."
Open the door, homer,
I've heard it said before.
Open the door, homer,
I've heard it said before
But i ain't gonna hear it said no more.

Well, that big dumb blonde
With her wheel in the gorge
And turtle, that friend of theirs
With his checks all forged
And his cheeks in a chunk
With his cheese in the cash
They're all gonna be there
At that million dollar bash
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee
It's that million dollar bash

Ev'rybody from right now
To over there and back
The louder they come
The harder they crack
Come now, sweet cream
Don't forget to flash
We're all gonna meet
At that million dollar bash
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee
It's that million dollar bash

Well, i took my counselor
Out to the barn
Silly nelly was there
She told him a yarn
Then along came jones
Emptied the trash
Ev'rybody went down
To that million dollar bash
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee
It's that million dollar bash

Well, i'm hittin' it too hard
My stones won't take
I get up in the mornin'
But it's too early to wake
First it's hello, goodbye
Then push and then crash
But we're all gonna make it
At that million dollar bash
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee
It's that million dollar bash

Well, i looked at my watch
I looked at my wrist
Punched myself in the face
With my fist
I took my potatoes
Down to be mashed
Then i made it over
To that million dollar bash
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee
It's that million dollar bash