Hooray For Boobies

I was lonelier than kunta kinte at a merle haggard concert
That night i strolled on into uncle limpy's hump palace lookin' for love.
It had been a while.
In fact, three hundred and sixty-five had come and went
Since that midnight run haulin' hog to shakey town on i-10.
I had picked up this hitchhiker that was sweatin' gallons
Through a pair of daisy duke cut-offs and one of those fruit of the loom tank-tops.
Well, that night i lost myself to ruby red lips,
Milky white skin and baby blue eyes.
Name was russell.


Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well i find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'


Well, faster than you can say, "shallow grave",
This pretty little thing come up to me and starts kneadin' my balls
Like hard-boiled eggs in a tube sock.
Said her name was bambi and i said, "well that's a coincidence darlin',

Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on

Ouch it won't reach my mouth
If i could do it myself i'd probably never leave the house
But i can't so here's where you come in
Giving it "diff'rent strokes" just like arnold drummond
Hummin' hmm hmm good like campbell's
And you'll handle the sack like the quarterback randall
Cunningham like joanie loves chachi
They call him ralph mouth

Ooh, that was creepy
I would rather slurp rancid tunasalad out of my own ass
Or scour my boobies off with a rusty sls pad
Or hump a piece of splintered ...

"a" is for "apple"
"b" is for "balloons"
"c" is for "crayons"
"d" is for "drum"

Like my scrotum here it is in a nutshell

One thousand nine hundred and seventy-two
That's the year i got here when my dear mother's water blew
Not really realizing the prize that's been begot to her
The bona fide lo-fi high-octane philosopher
Genius with a penis the few the proud the me
I liked me so much i had to buy the company
Soul for sale sold to satan for a hell of a lotta luck
I'm hard to come by like a straight guy working at starbucks
Thank the thinkers that think they thunk the thoughts that theorized
Idolized or despised bet i'm gettin' recognized
Mount rushmore it? no ignore it can't rock with no big head
Half of the people want me half of the people want me dead
I am the angel of def with my rhymes against humanity
Teeter-tottering between brilliance and insanity
The one part the fuehrer the one part the pope
It's the inevitable return baby of the great white dope

Conclusions you drew proportions you blew
Lost son of iggy? false bigger nose than ziggy? true
Yes my name is jimmy pop no my pop's name is dick
Don't admit to kick it slick you thick derelict critic
Put down for missed notes put up with misquotes
Don't want the whole story? should have bought the cliff notes
Like fingerpainting 101 give me no credit for having class
One thumb on the pulse of the nation one thumb in your girlfriend's ass
Written on written off scoff callin' me a joke
I don't think that i'm a sell-out but i do "enjoy coke!"
I struck gold but never took it for granite that's how i planned it so can it
Around the planet fans demand it and you'll never understand it
When i die no lie plan on mass pandemonium
They may display my brain in a pickle jar at the smithsonian
The one part the fuehrer the one part the pope
It's the inevitable return baby of the great white dope

One part the fuehrer one part the pope
The inevitable return of the great white dope
One part the fuehrer one part the pope
The inevitable return of the great white dope
One part the fuehrer one part the pope
The inevitable return of the great white dope
One part the fuehrer one part the pope
The inevitable return of the great white dope

Great white dope
Great white dope
Great white dope
Great white dope