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1. _ Donna
Oh donna
You made me stand up
You made me sit down, donna
Sit down, donna
Sit down
You made stand up
Donna waiting by the telephone
Donna waiting for the phone to ring
Oh donna
You make me break up
You make me break down, donna
Break down, donna
Break down
You make me break up
Meanwhile waiting by the telephone
Donna is waiting for the phone to ring
"hello, darling
Yes i love you darling
Yes i love you"
Oh donna
You made me stand up
You made me sit down, donna
Sit down, donna
Sit down
You make stand up
Donna i'd stand on my head for you
Oh my love, my own one
Oh my love, my own one
Donna waiting by the telephone
Donna waiting for the phone to ring
Oh donna
Oh donna
Oh donna
Oh donna
Donna i love you
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2. _ Old Wild Men
Where are my boys?
They are in deepest water
Where are they now?
They are over the hill and far away
But they are broken men who lie low
Waiting for miracles
Old men of rock and roll
Came bearing music
Where are they now?
They are over the hill and far away
But they're still gonna play guitars
On dead strings, and old drums
They'll play and play to pass the time
The old wild men
Old wild men
Old wild men, waiting for miracles
Lord have mercy upon the many
Lord have mercy upon the few
Lord have mercy upon the many
Lord have mercy on me and on you
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3. _ Headline Hustler
I got me a job on the local paper
Everybody there thinks i'm nice
But they'd better look twice
`cos it isn't me
I wanna be
Headline hustler
Scandal maker
Headline hustler
Money taker
You keep writing me letters
But i haven't got time
I'm busy looking at photographs
But they'd better not be from the bbc
You're gonna hear from me
Headline hustler
Scandal maker
Headline hustler
Money taker
Better not turn around
I'll stab you in the back
And you don't know what i'm hiding
Under my plastic mac, under my plastic mac
I got a very good friend in the cia
And he says that he never takes bribes
But he's telling lies
`cos he's into me
He knows i wanna be
Headline hustler
Scandal maker
Headline hustler
Money taker
If your brother's wearing dresses
And your neighbour's swapped his wife
Well, i'm gonna make the headlines
With your private life
With your other wife
Headline hustler
Scandal maker
Headline hustler
Money taker
Headline hustler
Scandal maker
Headline hustler
Money taker
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4. _ Hotel
On de uber side ob de island
Dere's a sky so clear and blue
Can see, cross water, to de mainland
New life for me and you
Let's buy a hotel
Let's get a yacht
We'll get a golden island
In the sun made of coconut
Let's buy an old car
We'll crash in a hut
We'll feed the food to the ford
And we'll live off the coconut
Well there's a big black mama
In a tree
She's gonna cook us
She's gonna call up the rest of the tribe
And it looks like the ghost of tarzan lied
He went over to the other side
And he rang like a bell
From tree to tree
They never ever let you go
They never ever let you go
We get american menus
With all american men
We're getting sick of things american
We ate our way through half the pentagon
We had our share of big palookas
Yankee go home
Yankee go ho ho home
They never ever let you go
They never ever let you go
Yankee go home
Yankee go ho ho home
Let's buy a hotel
Let's get a yacht
We'll get a golden island
In the sun made of coconut
Let's buy an old car
We'll crash in a hut
We'll feed the food to the ford
And we'll live off the coconut
Well there's a big black mama in a tree
She's gonna cook us
She's gonna call up the rest of the tribe
And it looks like the ghost of tarzan lied
He went over to the other side
And he rang like a bell
From tree to tree
Tree to tree, tree to tree
They never ever let you go
They never ever let you go
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5. _ Silly Love
Hey toots, you put the life into living
You brought a sigh into sight
Ah hon, you make my legs turn to water
You bring the stars out at night
But they ain't half so bright
As your eyes
Gee whiz, you take the beauty out of beautiful
You play the strings of my heart
Oh babe, you take the wonder out of wonderful
Oh my, oh my, and my, if you were mine
The rain would turn to sweet sweet wine
Well he's been up all night
Breakin' his head in two to write
A little sonnet for his chickadee
But between you and me
I think its sssssssssssilly. silly
Ooh treas, you got a smile like a rembrandt
Aha, you got the style of a queen
Oh dear, you are the petal of a rosebud
Next to you all the others could be weeds
You're the only one my garden needs
Ooh, you know the art of conversation
Must be dying
Ooh, when a romance depends on
Cliches and toupees and threepes
We're up to here with moonin' and junin'
If you want to sound sincere -
Don't rely on crosby's croonin' -
Take a little time
Make up your own rhyme
Don't rely on mine
`cos it's sssssssssilly - silly - silly - silly
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6. _ Rubber Bullets
I went to a party at the local county jail
All the cons were dancing and the band began to wail
But the guys were indiscreet
They were brawling in the street
At the local dance at the local county jail
Well the band were playing
And the booze began to flow
But the sound came over on the police car radio
Down at precinct 49
Having a tear-gas of a time
Sergeant baker got a call from the governor of the county jail
Load up, load up, load up with rubber bullets
Load up, load up, load up with rubber bullets
I love to hear those convicts squeal
It's a shame these slugs ain't real
But we can't have dancin' at the local county jail
Sergeant baker and his men made a bee-line for the jail
And for miles around
You could hear the sirens wail
There's a rumor goin' round death row
That a fuse is gonna blow
At the local hop at the local county jail
Whatcha gonna do about it, whatcha gonna do
Whatcha gonna do about it, whatcha gonna do
Sergeant baker started talkin'
With a bullhorn in his hand
He was cool, he was clear
He was always in command
He said "blood will flow;
Here padre
Padre you talk to your boys..."
"trust in me -
God will come to set you free"
Well we don't understand
Why you called in the national guard
When uncle sam is the one
Who belongs in the exercise yard
We all got balls and brains
But some's got balls and chains
At the local dance at the local county jail
Load up, load up, load up with rubber bullets
Load up, load up, load up with rubber bullets
Is it really such a crime
For a guy to spend his time
At the local dance at the local county jail
At the local dance at the local county jail
Whatcha gonna do about it, whatcha gonna do
Whatcha gonna do about it, whatcha gonna do
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7. _ Clockwork Creep
"i'm a clockwork creep
And i can't get to sleep
They wind me up and let me go
And i can't unwind
Going out of my mind
My time is coming soon you know"
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
"i'm a jumbo jet
With a brand new set
Of passengers and bags and crew
I'll spread my wings -
Do a thousand things
To prove how good i am to you"
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Meanwhile in the cargo of escargot
The temperature is rising
Advertising that our time is running
Down, down, down, down, down
Oh with just one minute to live
Oh, no you'll never get me up in one of these again
`cos what goes up must come
Down, down, down, down, down
Down, down, down, down, down
Oh, the gravity of the situation
It's only my willpower
That keeps this thing in operation
But we're gonna crash that's for certain
The pilot is too busy flirtin'
And he ain't aware
That there's a bomb down there
And if he don't do something it's curtains
"now just hold on,"
Said the little bomb,
"if you were just to hold my hands
Then time would stop
The plot would flop
And jumbo would be safe to land"
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
My landings are the envy
Of sabena and pan am
From chattanooga to japan
I taxi through the airways -
What a swell little plane
What a fine little plane
What a great little plane
I am
"hang on one sec
I'm a clockwork wreck
And though my fuse is burning slow
Must keep my date to detonate
Goodbye, ta ta, and cheerio
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a........."
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8. _ The Sacro-iliac
Here's a new dance that you all can do
Baby, baby, what's he gonna do?
Sit back and relax `cos it's good for you
Baby, baby, what's he gonna do?
What's he gonna say?
He's takin' my breath away
Well if you're tired of doing the boogaloo
And you're afraid of doing the swim
`cos you think you will drown
In the noise of the record
And the klutz on the floor
He ain't there anymore
`cos all you wanna do
Is be alone at the bar
All you wanna do is be alone at the bar
You wanna drown in your cocktail
You wanna leave with the laundry
If your mind is trippin'
But your disc is slippin'
Here's what you gotta do -
Nothing
In any tempo and any rhythm
C'mon mac do the sacro-iliac
C'mon back do the sacro-iliac
I said c'mon back do the sacro-iliac
Well it's easy
Here's the new dance that you 'll wanna do
So easy
Don't want to annoy ya with my paranoia
Now i'm doing the dance that is good for me
Baby, baby, what's it gonna be?
I ain't no astaire, but i've a right to be
Baby, baby, when's he gonna learn?
Where's he gonna stay?
He's taken my breath away
Well i'm bored with the beat of the shing-a-ling
And the lindy is leaving me cold
`cos i've never been freaky or funky or laid back
And the lush on the floor
Isn't me anymore
And i never ever wanna be alone
At the bar
Never ever wanna be alone at the bar
So c'mon mac do the sacro-iliac
C'mon back do the sacro-iliac
Won't you c'mon back do the sacro-iliac
C'mon back do the sacro-iliac
Won't you come on back do the sacro-iliac
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9. _ Sand In My Face
I looked in the mirror
(what did you see looking at you?)
I saw a nine stone weakling
(what will you do?)
Dynamic tension waiting for you?
Dynamic tension make a man out of you
I opened my magazine
(what did you see?)
I saw mr. france
(what did he have?)
A girl on each shoulder
(what else?)
And one in his pants
Dynamic tension can do this for you
Dynamic tension make a man out of
You you you you you
So our hero goes down to the beach
He's in real terrible shape
His chick's been seen with big alex
That mother kicked sand in his face
Now let me tell you about alex
He's got:
Hands like hams
Knees like trees
200 lbs
Of surfboard hercules
Mr. atlas won't you bring her on back to me
I lost my girl down by the beach
She's with alex and she's out of reach
So please mr. atlas won't you bring her on back to me
I saw your body in an advert on t.v.
But what convinced me was your money back guarantee
Now i'm stronger than alex
(where is he now?)
He's left in disgrace
(oh yeah?)
`cos i took back my girlfriend
(ha, ha, ha, ha)
And kicked sand in his face
(in his eyes, in his ears, in his nose)
Dynamic tension waiting for you
Dynamic tension make a man out of you
Dynamic tension, dynamic tension
Dynamic tension, dynamic tension
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10. _ Wall Street Shuffle
Do the wall street shuffle
Hear the money rustle
Watch the greenbacks tumble
Feel the sterling crumble
You need a yen to make a mark
If you wanna make money
You need the luck to make a buck
If you wanna be getty, rothschild
You've gotta be cool on wall street
You've gotta be cool on wall street
When your index is low
Dow jones ain't got time for the bums
They wind up on skid row with holes in their pockets
They plead with you, buddy can you spare the dime
But you ain't got the time
Doin' the....
Doin' the....
Oh, howard hughes
Did your money make you better?
Are you waiting for the hour
When you can screw me?
`cos you're big enough
To do the wall street shuffle
Let your money hustle
Bet you'd sell your mother
You can buy another
Doin' the....
Doin' the....
You buy and sell
You wheel and deal
But you're living on instinct
You get a tip
You follow it
And you make a big killing
On wall street
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11. _ Oh Effendi
In the middle of a caravan
On a four wheel drive oasis
There's a man with a thought in mind
To cash in on the desert faces
He's got a truckload of yorkshire girls
For your harem going places
And the border bums never saw
The guns in the whiskey cases
There's a real, big demand
And it's written in the palm of his hand
He's gonna change the face of the desert
He's gonna sweep away the sand
Hang on sheik, i've got a yellow streak
I ain't here, i'm a mirage
Get back des, keep it under your fez
And don't give us away in the massage
Look what i did for the pyramid
I put a pool in and made it pay
I built an elevator and a film theatre
And i shipped it to the u.s.a.
`cos there's a real big demand
And it's written in the palm of my hand
I'm gonna change the face of the desert
I'm gonna sweep away the sand
Hang on friends!
There's a lot more goodies in the pipeline
So this ain't the time to close the deal
Here's the deal
Ooh, now you've got a howitzer all of your own
Ooh, and a panzer division to chauffeur you home
Gun running is fun
But hang on, friends, hang on friends
Allah be praised, there's a whole new craze
We're gonna shoot up the foreign legion
And it's up with the sheik
And down with the frog
We're gonna liberate the region!
Oh effendi, we're gonna bury your head in the sand
Oh effendi, you better get off my doggone land
Hey, prince of the moonbeams
Son of the sun,
Light of a thousand stars
Your gorillas are urban
And there's bourbon on your turban
And the sun shines out of your ass
Oh effendi, i'm gonna grovel in your wake
Oh effendi, it's all been a big mistake
You're gonna cut out my liver
If i don't deliver
Things are getting out of hand
I'm going to ride off into the sunset and
Make a deal with the promised land
Goodbye friends
There's no more goodies in the pipeline
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12. _ The Dean And I
Hum drum days
And a hum drum ways
Hey kids, let me tell you how i met your mom
We were dancin' and romancin' at the senior prom
It was no infatuation
But a gradual graduation
From a boy to a man
Let me tell you while i can
The soda pop came free
Hey sis, one kiss, and i was heaven bound
Now who would have guessed milton's paradise lost could
Be found
But in the eyes of the dean, his daughter
Was doin' what she shouldn'a oughta
But a man's gotta do
What a man's gotta do
The consequence should be
Church bells, three swells
The dean, his daughter and me
They were dating in the park
They were smooching in the dark
Of a doorway for two
She whispered "i love you -
Ooh, you know i never felt this way before
Ooh, you know the elevator in my heart
Has gone awol, awol, awol, awol"
And then i kissed her
And when i kissed her
It's a wonderful world
When you're rolling in kisses
Now, the paint is peeling
(hum drum days and hum drum ways)
Now, and when the chips are down
(hum drum days and hum drum ways)
Now, you kinda lose all feeling
(hum drum days and hum drum ways)
Now, your head goes round and round
(hum drum days and hum drum ways)
Round and round and round and round and round
I'm throwing myself off this train
Hum drum days
And a hum drum ways
Hum drum days, he's got
Hum drum ways, oh boy
Hey, you know i'm really earning now
My ship came in with a cargo of dollars
My name's lit up on the prow
It's a wonderful world
When you're rolling in dollars
Now!
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13. _ Johnny Don't Do It
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Johnny was an angel
An angel dressed in black
He used to hang around the guys
Down at the local track
He tried so hard to join them
But they always turned him back
Johnny don't do it
He was an angel
Johnny don't do it
Such an angel
He was only 17
Just got out of school
He stole a bike from joe's garage
To prove that he was cool
He didn't know that the brakes were worn
And fate can be so cruel
Johnny don't do it
He was an angel
Johnny don't do it
Such an angel
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Well johnny went a riding
With his girlfriend on the back seat
Looking for some action
And they found it down a back street
Suddenly a truck pulled out
He tried to step on the brake
Johnny don't do it (here is a news flash)
Johnny don't do it (today, johnny kowalski, also known as johnny
Angel)
Johnny don't do it (and his young fiance francine, were tragically
Killed)
Johnny don't do it (in a cycle accident)
Don't do it, don't do it (any witnesses please contact)
Don't do it, don't do it (the police at precinct 29)
Now johnny's with the angels
The angels in the sky
I wonder if he thinks of us
As he goes riding by
If only had listened
Oh the number of times we tried
To tell him
Johnny don't do it
He was an angel
Johnny don't do it
Such an angel
Johnny don't do it
He was an angel
Johnny don't do it
Such an angel
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
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14. _ The Worst Band In The World
It's one thing to know it but another to admit
We're the worst band in the world
But we don't give a....
If garbo played guitar with valentino on the drums
Then we'd be nothing more than a bunch of darma bums
So tune up, tune up
Well we've never done a days work in our life
And our records sell in zillions
It irrigates my heart with greed
To know that you adore me
Up yours, up mine
But up everybody's that takes time -
But we're working on it
Working on it (ooh)
We never seen the van - leave it to the roadies -
Never met the roadies - leave them in the van
All because of circumstances way beyond control
We became the darlings of this thing called rock and roll, ooh
Here i am a record on a jukebox
A little piece of plastic with a hole, ooh
Play me
Buy me and you play me then my plastic turns to gold
Here we are together on your hi fi
A little piece of plastic with a hole, oh
Fade me, fade me, fade me, fade me.....
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