Greatest Hits

Oh donna
You made me stand up
You made me sit down, donna
Sit down, donna
Sit down
You made stand up
Donna waiting by the telephone
Donna waiting for the phone to ring
Oh donna
You make me break up
You make me break down, donna
Break down, donna
Break down
You make me break up
Meanwhile waiting by the telephone
Donna is waiting for the phone to ring
"hello, darling
Yes i love you darling
Yes i love you"
Oh donna
You made me stand up
You made me sit down, donna
Sit down, donna
Sit down
You make stand up
Donna i'd stand on my head for you
Oh my love, my own one
Oh my love, my own one
Donna waiting by the telephone
Donna waiting for the phone to ring
Oh donna
Oh donna
Oh donna
Oh donna
Donna i love you

I got me a job on the local paper
Everybody there thinks i'm nice
But they'd better look twice
`cos it isn't me
I wanna be
Headline hustler
Scandal maker
Headline hustler
Money taker
You keep writing me letters
But i haven't got time
I'm busy looking at photographs
But they'd better not be from the bbc
You're gonna hear from me
Headline hustler
Scandal maker
Headline hustler
Money taker
Better not turn around
I'll stab you in the back
And you don't know what i'm hiding
Under my plastic mac, under my plastic mac
I got a very good friend in the cia
And he says that he never takes bribes
But he's telling lies
`cos he's into me
He knows i wanna be
Headline hustler
Scandal maker
Headline hustler
Money taker
If your brother's wearing dresses
And your neighbour's swapped his wife
Well, i'm gonna make the headlines
With your private life
With your other wife
Headline hustler
Scandal maker
Headline hustler
Money taker
Headline hustler
Scandal maker
Headline hustler
Money taker

Hey toots, you put the life into living
You brought a sigh into sight
Ah hon, you make my legs turn to water
You bring the stars out at night
But they ain't half so bright
As your eyes
Gee whiz, you take the beauty out of beautiful
You play the strings of my heart
Oh babe, you take the wonder out of wonderful
Oh my, oh my, and my, if you were mine
The rain would turn to sweet sweet wine
Well he's been up all night
Breakin' his head in two to write
A little sonnet for his chickadee
But between you and me
I think its sssssssssssilly. silly
Ooh treas, you got a smile like a rembrandt
Aha, you got the style of a queen
Oh dear, you are the petal of a rosebud
Next to you all the others could be weeds
You're the only one my garden needs
Ooh, you know the art of conversation
Must be dying
Ooh, when a romance depends on
Cliches and toupees and threepes
We're up to here with moonin' and junin'
If you want to sound sincere -
Don't rely on crosby's croonin' -
Take a little time
Make up your own rhyme
Don't rely on mine
`cos it's sssssssssilly - silly - silly - silly

"i'm a clockwork creep
And i can't get to sleep
They wind me up and let me go
And i can't unwind
Going out of my mind
My time is coming soon you know"
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
"i'm a jumbo jet
With a brand new set
Of passengers and bags and crew
I'll spread my wings -
Do a thousand things
To prove how good i am to you"
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Meanwhile in the cargo of escargot
The temperature is rising
Advertising that our time is running
Down, down, down, down, down
Oh with just one minute to live
Oh, no you'll never get me up in one of these again
`cos what goes up must come
Down, down, down, down, down
Down, down, down, down, down
Oh, the gravity of the situation
It's only my willpower
That keeps this thing in operation
But we're gonna crash that's for certain
The pilot is too busy flirtin'
And he ain't aware
That there's a bomb down there
And if he don't do something it's curtains
"now just hold on,"
Said the little bomb,
"if you were just to hold my hands
Then time would stop
The plot would flop
And jumbo would be safe to land"
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
My landings are the envy
Of sabena and pan am
From chattanooga to japan
I taxi through the airways -
What a swell little plane
What a fine little plane
What a great little plane
I am
"hang on one sec
I'm a clockwork wreck
And though my fuse is burning slow
Must keep my date to detonate
Goodbye, ta ta, and cheerio
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a........."

I looked in the mirror
(what did you see looking at you?)
I saw a nine stone weakling
(what will you do?)
Dynamic tension waiting for you?
Dynamic tension make a man out of you
I opened my magazine
(what did you see?)
I saw mr. france
(what did he have?)
A girl on each shoulder
(what else?)
And one in his pants
Dynamic tension can do this for you
Dynamic tension make a man out of
You you you you you
So our hero goes down to the beach
He's in real terrible shape
His chick's been seen with big alex
That mother kicked sand in his face
Now let me tell you about alex
He's got:
Hands like hams
Knees like trees
200 lbs
Of surfboard hercules
Mr. atlas won't you bring her on back to me
I lost my girl down by the beach
She's with alex and she's out of reach
So please mr. atlas won't you bring her on back to me
I saw your body in an advert on t.v.
But what convinced me was your money back guarantee
Now i'm stronger than alex
(where is he now?)
He's left in disgrace
(oh yeah?)
`cos i took back my girlfriend
(ha, ha, ha, ha)
And kicked sand in his face
(in his eyes, in his ears, in his nose)
Dynamic tension waiting for you
Dynamic tension make a man out of you
Dynamic tension, dynamic tension
Dynamic tension, dynamic tension

Hum drum days
And a hum drum ways
Hey kids, let me tell you how i met your mom
We were dancin' and romancin' at the senior prom
It was no infatuation
But a gradual graduation
From a boy to a man
Let me tell you while i can
The soda pop came free
Hey sis, one kiss, and i was heaven bound
Now who would have guessed milton's paradise lost could
Be found
But in the eyes of the dean, his daughter
Was doin' what she shouldn'a oughta
But a man's gotta do
What a man's gotta do
The consequence should be
Church bells, three swells
The dean, his daughter and me
They were dating in the park
They were smooching in the dark
Of a doorway for two
She whispered "i love you -
Ooh, you know i never felt this way before
Ooh, you know the elevator in my heart
Has gone awol, awol, awol, awol"
And then i kissed her
And when i kissed her
It's a wonderful world
When you're rolling in kisses
Now, the paint is peeling
(hum drum days and hum drum ways)
Now, and when the chips are down
(hum drum days and hum drum ways)
Now, you kinda lose all feeling
(hum drum days and hum drum ways)
Now, your head goes round and round
(hum drum days and hum drum ways)
Round and round and round and round and round
I'm throwing myself off this train
Hum drum days
And a hum drum ways
Hum drum days, he's got
Hum drum ways, oh boy
Hey, you know i'm really earning now
My ship came in with a cargo of dollars
My name's lit up on the prow
It's a wonderful world
When you're rolling in dollars
Now!

Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Johnny was an angel
An angel dressed in black
He used to hang around the guys
Down at the local track
He tried so hard to join them
But they always turned him back
Johnny don't do it
He was an angel
Johnny don't do it
Such an angel
He was only 17
Just got out of school
He stole a bike from joe's garage
To prove that he was cool
He didn't know that the brakes were worn
And fate can be so cruel
Johnny don't do it
He was an angel
Johnny don't do it
Such an angel
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Well johnny went a riding
With his girlfriend on the back seat
Looking for some action
And they found it down a back street
Suddenly a truck pulled out
He tried to step on the brake
Johnny don't do it (here is a news flash)
Johnny don't do it (today, johnny kowalski, also known as johnny
Angel)
Johnny don't do it (and his young fiance francine, were tragically
Killed)
Johnny don't do it (in a cycle accident)
Don't do it, don't do it (any witnesses please contact)
Don't do it, don't do it (the police at precinct 29)
Now johnny's with the angels
The angels in the sky
I wonder if he thinks of us
As he goes riding by
If only had listened
Oh the number of times we tried
To tell him
Johnny don't do it
He was an angel
Johnny don't do it
Such an angel
Johnny don't do it
He was an angel
Johnny don't do it
Such an angel
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it