Okenspay Ordway I

Spoken word.
Have ya heard?
What's it all mean?
What does it really mean?
What is it?
What exactly is it, is it poetry?
Is it prose?
What is it, rants and raves?
Some people want you to be...political.
And they want you to be pissed off.
They don't want you to try and be honest.
God forbid you try to be funny.
So, there's nothing more i can say, except that, right now, wherever you are, listening to this, i can guarantee you, i'm probably, somewhere. else.
[laughs]

This phallic snowboard beckons my sensuality
The silence of the snowfall is playing with my concentration
These blasted goggles hinder the shading of this god forsaken run
Whipper snappers whipping by
Shredding by
Carving through my heart
They flow as if on water
Gorgeous, delicious airs
My heart stops as the cartwheels commence
I soar
My eyes close
I taste the mountain
This glorious creation of heaven
My body is taut and ripe
I give myself wholly and completely to the earth and snow and ice
It takes me
Harder than my favorite lover
And the mountain eats me alive

Testing

On the t.v. rosanne is all upset because she has to go to some dumb party with dan and she has absolutely nothing to wear and dan isn't very sympathetic and i feel bad for her cuz i feel the sam
About never having anything to wear when you feel like you have to look nice. i mean i have my favourite outfit consisting of my green holly hobby dress with the pink buttons, pink ballet tigh
D my docs and my hello kitty barretts..more the arial ones, but you can only let someone see you with a dress like that around your neck - once.

Cursed nightmare
Beaming headlights
No help for them, no hope for them
Jumping, bouncing, black - eye giving
Not a sport
Supoort
Fuck all will assist my swollen, tender ouchy boobies?
Gig neck? no!
Gig tits!!

I am a t.v. baby it's weird when you stop and think about it. "donna martin graduates! donna martin graduates!" totally different head...nanoo nanoo. reeaaaaaaar!! 911! i remember wa
G harvey corman the carol brunett show from behind the couch where my parent sat. i was supposed to be in bed. once we were old enough to complain and whine about hind????????? every sunday ni
We had popcorn and watched the muppet show in the living room. you know, my t.v. is wortha a million dollars. why i call it my "million dollar t.v."? this is because when i was 20 ye
Ld i had a day job, a skateboard and a band. but no savings account. i couldn't ask my parents for money it wasn't an emergency. my roomate told me to go to this certain rent to own company.
Like 20 bucks a month for a t.v.! unreal! so i went and picked out a cute 12 inch colour t.v. and walked home with it that day. i got a remote control unit, and i ordered cable. life was ama
Before work in the morning i could watch the to
Day show i remember when bryant announced to the viewing audience that katie got caps on her teeth! he busted her right on t.v.! can you believe that? after i came home from work, i'd leave th
. off until i got into the kitchen, made a cup of coffee or tea with like 4 sugars, got my cigarettes; 100s matches; wooden and took a seat in front of the television and turned on some talk sho
This is the life! i used to think. i didn't even own a bicycle or any transportation. i got my skateboard deck out of the garbage and got trucks and
Risers for free! why one of the wheels was practically square! i had tofu hot-dogs in the fridge , and milk and diet soda and that was it. no new clothes just ratty t-shirts and jeans and stu
I had minimal shoes--no makeup but soap, and, uh, no furniture. but fuck! did i have a beautiful t.v.! i'd watch it while i ate supper and then 'till i left for band rehearsal. after that, i
Ome late and go to sleep cause i'd wake up at 7 to go to work. this was my routine it was the greatest. i was truly blessed with my little t.v. and adored it. i put hello kitty stickers all o
T and the remote. it was beautiful. i would get a bill in the mail every month. i mostly paid them on time cause i could go downtown to the rent to own store and hand them my payment. how co
Ent! as the last 6 years went by, my t.v. saw me through 7 apartments, 4 boyfriends, 2 bands, 1 job--my same job for 5 years and 10 tours--and 1 fuckin' asshole at the credit bureau. here's wha
Pened: because even though i
Was often getting late on my payments. this rent to own stuff was you know, giving me, a credit
Rating. i started getting all these credit card applications in the mail. "what luck!" i got a visa card pronto. i bought dickie's engineering overalls--the first thing i bought.
Econd thing, of course, was some shoes. the third, of course, was dinner for a boyfriend. this is the life! then i got a bay card, then i got a holt renfrew card. i got a fuschia perry ellis,
Y sized duffel bag for touring. i got elizabeth arden products for touring, i got m.a.c makeup and lots of clothes for touring.
Then i went on tour! life on the road got good! that van never smelled better! then, while we were on tour in a strange city at soundcheck, we get a phone call from the chick whose place we cr
At that she got broken into. we went back there. all that got stolen was my pink duffel bag with all my new clothes and girly panties and shower gels and you name it! everyone else had their
Rock bags and t-shirts and stuff left alone. just me..the girl..the girl with the shiny pink bag. the policeman at precinct 51 were awesome. they made a report and i even got a real police s
They felt sorry for me cause all i was left with was the dress on my back. the other band we played with on the bill last night, the singer, leslie and the mary-anne lady who ran the bar donate
E dresses and panties and makeup and stuff. i was glad it was me that was robbed and not one of my band guys i mean i still have my day-job and i still had credit cards i'm glad the van wasn't
N. i mean, it was just me. i
Was bawling when i phoned my manager long-distance, don't get me wrong! but i had to get over it quickly. because i was my own tour manager so i couldn't be a baby. i mean, i still had to get
L
Buy-out out of the club-owner that night. you know, the show must go on! but my point is, everything i mean, everything in that duffel bag and the bag itself was a credit card purchase. i figu
Was shown lessons. it gave me alot to think about. by the time i got off the tour and luckily
Went back to my day-job, my bills were all piling up. i couldn't keep up! my credit cards were all maxed. and i had no cash. i couldn't even eat. i was fucked. the credit guy called at my
And asked if i was stupid. he said that him and his cronies were going to wait for me at my house. i
Was crying and freaked out. he was a legit bill collector too! phone to freak me out..and he did! so i phoned home and i figured out i had to get my dad to co-sign a loan so i could consolidat
Debts. bag itself was a credit card purchase. i figured i was shown lessons. it gave me alot to think about. by the time i got off the tour and luckily went back to my day-job, my bills were
Piling up. i couldn't keep up! my credit cards were all maxed. and i had no cash. i couldn't even eat.
I was fucked. the credit guy called at my work and asked if i was stupid. he said that him and his cronies were going to wait for me at my house. i was crying and freaked out. he was a legit
Collector too! phone to freak me out..and he did! so i phoned home and i figured out i had to
Get my dad to co-sign a loan so i could consolidate my debts. which brings me to my million dollar t.v. so my t.v., my beautiful t.v. was about 20 bucks a month. i think it was about a 400 dol
.v. remember it was a 12 inch. so, you'd think it would be paid off in about in less than 2 years. here's the snag. out of my 20 dollar month payment like a buck 50 would go to my actual purc
Can you believe that? so even though over three years, i paid like 700 bucks...it wasn't paid off. fuck me! needles to say, my t.v. was included in my bill consolidation. that's when i dub
T
My million dollar t.v. i got rid of all those credit cards, well, except for one for emergencies and got rid of my bill collectors. i have my own apartment now, lost my day job to touring. i
A stereo and a gt bmx and i go to the gym. but more important than anything. i have my t.v.--my
Million dollar t.v. with the hello kitty stickers all over it..still have it! i watch rosie, the x-files, baywatch, sometimes i turn the telephone off so i can watch the nanny! i don't have a
Ne except hmm..sunday night when i watch the community cable channel for the italia t.v. and soccer report. or hockey night in canada or cbc on saturday morning for "fashion file". t
S still really fun. i'm addicted, i guess. life is still amazing. and i still love my million dollar t.v. and i truly, truly am a t.v. baby.

I have recently graduated from light sleeper to insomniac, and quite frankly i find it startling. i lie there, staring at the dark ceiling, and wait. wait for sleep to smack me square in the ja
T is so slow in coming, like my precious lover thank god. my neurotic brain races for hours about everything possible but nothing in particular. i then become greatly disturbed as i notice the

Time, and figure out the hours left before i must rise. sometimes at this point, i become panic-filled and toss and turn and huff and puff, and of course, out of frustration my heart races, and
Naline begins its crawl through me, and i become upset. because i'm incorrigible, as a spoiled child, my sniffles and whines and pouting wake my snoring lover on purpose, so i may notify him o
Unhappy crank overtiredness, and patiently as always he gently plays with me until i finally fall fast asleep. i have recently graduated from light sleeper to insomniac, and quite frankly i fin
Startling.

Second guessing count your blessings look what i've become!
Sit and wallow thank god i swallow gosh what have i done?
Baby jane puttin' blame on every man she meets.
Stop being a victim, just delete them and i mean toute suite!
Navy sweater, yup, he'll get her ar-ti-cul-a-tion.
Wanna see where she bit me in my curriculum?
Monkey business, not even christmas,
A fine how do you do.
Look here feller yer in these yeller
Can't get the monkey -- sue!
Muffins missin, i'm just kissin sweet potato man.
Don't look back faults yers heck!
Had no b or c plan.
Sit and wallow thank god you swallow, gosh what have you
Second guessing count your blessings look what you've become.

Anxiety
Breathless
Cunt
Damn
Excitement
Fucking
Goodness
Heaven
Interesting
Jitters
Kitten
Love
Mine
Never
Open
Pussy
Quite
Restless
Stay
This
Understanding
Vitality
Willing
Xcuses
Yes
Zany

Satan shows up on tv every sunday morning
I would have kissed her once again but i found her rather boring
To listen to his messages
Is like licking razor blades
Seems like every time i play my hand shits commn' up in spades
My clothing's nothing buy miss~matched
As you can see i broke my arm
The fucker swore to take care of me
But he only brought me harm
The blueberries on my toast
Are red and stale and rotten
You ask me what all their names were and its guaranteed i'd forgotten
If she could only anticipate the damage that's begun
I would have caught the flight with her but i'm too tired to run
When you find my naked body
Please do heed my warning
Satan shows up on tv every sunday morning

Okay, trivia question #152. name the ballet in which the principal lead dancer, female, does 32 fuetes. i'm expecting an answer from you. i already know. the answer. to the question.

metal queen i've never been
Or a punker chick
Often heard but never seen and dated mostly dicks
Angry white female's a term
You should say for your mothers
I'd be sleeping the whole tour
If i had my brothers
I don't party i'm not down with bull-shit anymore
Too many times i came to with the devil at my door
That great word "alternative" applied in 1989
Now it's a cop-out catch phrase that covers us like grime
Music will be to you and me
Whatever it becomes
Sometimes makes us feel happy and
Sometimes makes us glum
The only thing i have to say and you may think it's bent
But it's all just about emotions up for entertainment

All you ever do is complain
Some trivial event has you in agony again
Why stay so full of frustration
When all you need to do is change your situation

All you ever is whine
Don't tell it to me
You're wasting my time
How can you expect me to help?
When you cant even be bothered to help yourself

All you ever do is whimper
Change your mind theres nothing simpler
Why you just sit there i don't understand
You idiot your life's in your own hands!!

All you ever do is bitch
You think you're the only one?

I know this is gonna sound...kinda bad, but i really have to say, and this is kinda what i believe, alcohol is the root of all evil. don't worry, it's just my opinion. don't get so...defensive
N't look so..pissed off. i'm not talking about you specifically. i don't eve know you. i'm talking about my life. on my 12th birthday at mary's house in lexington, i had my first beer. i sp
Ost of it out. her older sister's friend was feeding it to me in his truck, in the driveway. he was 16. oh, we were listening to foreigner, and he was putting his fingers down my pants. i wa
Ing to be a grown up girl, drinking a beer. well, i drank beer for 14 years. you know, every bad thing that has ever happened to me would not have occurred if alcohol was not involved. the la
Ve boyfriends, out of my total ten, would never even have started if i hadn't been drunk as hell when i met him. god, looking back i shake my head. it's surprising isn't it? i never could hol
Liquor. never once in my dri
Nking history did i not get fully pissed. everytime. i have never, ever, been sober after two. cheap date. the funnest date. the loudest jokes, the potty mouth. why, i remember this one ti
Anding behind the bar where the bartenders were workin', and because i knew that 2 photographers from national geographic were sittin' at the bar, i was showing 'em my tricks. "watch the c
An girl pick the pimento out of the olive with her tongue." yeah, always a barrel of laughs. how could i be taken seriously i was drunk! i don't know, i feel kinda weird. i feel kinda st
It's weird. i feel kinda stupid. it's weird. i'm not necessarily bitter, but i can't ever drink again, but i feel better, i feel in control, i don't know how i ever drank. i really don't k
Ow i drank all that time. i don't
Think that, uh, drinking is for everybody, and i don't think not drinking's for everybody. but i gotta say, sobriety makes hindsight beyond 20/20. and i still think, and will always maintain,
Ol is the root of all evil.

I have found a lack of sympathy for my chemically dependent brothers and sisters. it disturbs me, my eye-rolling attitude. i search through my studies of gods. i search for the compassion wit
E, and i only have it half a day a week. i try and i try and i try, having myself crossed the fucking death junk line. the forced cock, the backhand of love. i know, i know, i know,
My shit clean, after all the shit i've seen, if i can still fall in love, if i can laugh my fool head off at my life, and my hard, hard lessons, then why don't you, you rich, thirty-five year ol
Kie fuck? i want compassion for you, but my friend i have none. you bear your victimization like a cross. a crutch. you're lazy. believe me. believe you me. i can't now is that half day a

I'll make a search for compassion. for you, poor you. you fucking white millionaire. my eyes are aching from roll.