1. _ Ozzy
Ozzy ozzy ozzy ozzy
Ozzy ozzy ozzy ozzy ozzy
Ozzy ozzy ozzy...(can i get a little echo on this?)
Ozzy ozzy ozzy ozzy ozzy
What does it mean?
The fire is green
The demons just came through the window
Ozzy ozzy ozzy ozzy
Ozzy ozzy ozzy ozzy
Ozzy ozzy ozzy ozzy ozzy
Ozzy ozzy ozzy ozzy ozzy
Big-league man
The future looks dim
Using [???] forever
Ozzy ozzy ozzy
Ozzy! you're the man!
How can i grasp you power?
I'm sittin' here lookin' at this keychain
And you...uh, there's mascara bleeding out of your eyes
The microphone is in flames
And there's a giant chicken claw above your head
Ozzy ozzy ozzy ozzy ozzy
Ozzy ozzy ozzy ozzy ozzy ozzy ozzy ozzy
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2. _ Jagermeister Pie
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3. _ Cut 1/2 Blues
I thought i heard a chainsaw
Rather late last night
I woke this mornin' and i knew i was right
I got the cut-in-half blues
Well the last thing i saw was the big long saw
I got the cut-in-half blues
I knew we were in trouble
I knew she lost her head
When she started bringin' all those power tools to bed
I got the cut-in-half blues
Well the last thing i saw was the big long saw
I got the cut-in-half blues
(little beck skat riff)
I'm layin' in my grave
All i do is grunt
Cause the undertaker got all mixed up
And put my ass in the front
I got the cut-in-half blues
Well the last thing i saw was the big long saw
I got the cut-in-half blues (achoo!)
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4. _ Modesto
You came, you went
My mind it got a dent
I couldn't make my rent
'cause all my cash was lent
This town is filled
With thousand-dollar-bills
Laminated songs
Contaminated lawns
Well we eat about fifteen times a day
Starin' through a bag of frito-lay
And i play with the fire in the stove
When my eyes peel out and my fingertips get cold
Well it's real and it's fake
And it's flamin' like a steak
And she's puttin' out my face with the rake
Oh honey you knew
That you were my one and only blur
Unglued, depressed
The meatloaf in my chest
Personality test
I failed with the best
And i stomped and i stormed
And i passed out in your dorm
Then you hustled me outside
I couldn't catch a ride
But the subway trains speak to me now
I'm browsing through the supermarket town
And the girls don't talk when i'm around
And i'm feelin' bad even though nothing's wrong
Chokin' on a breathmint
That's cool
Yeah, that's cool
(........stuck out here in the sand, they shot my mule and burned my wagon--
Ran out of sourdough 2 days ago; ain't got no more lard. god bless you folks...)
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5. _ Aphid Manure Heist
Amanda
Lied o'er the man's light
Made sure the faith in the light had made her
The greatest woman
The greatest woman
To be the man's greatest wife
I thought it all over
Lord knows i've tried
It's awful great struggle
In any man's life
To look in the mirror
In total surprise
At the great hair on her shoulders
And the great big, big, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful eyes...
Aman.....
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6. _ 8.6.82
It's august 6th, 1982.
And uh, we were jammin' over at the house.
My pants caught on fire.
We were smokin' a lotta... whiskey, and uh, chicken.
And uh, got some food and...
I got some food and came home and got a call, uh...
No wait, i got some calls then, uh, came home, then i got some food.
Came home, got some food and then :::cough::: got some calls, uh...
Couldn't find the fridge for a while and...
Wait, first we couldn't...we got the food and then...
No wait, first we had the fridge.
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7. _ Tasergun
I got a room down in hollywood
Rent was cheap
It was this rooming house
There was an old man who lived in the room next to me
We shared a bathroom in the hall
Stare at me through a crack in the door
Day i moved in i was playin' my guitar
Started bangin' on the wall with a boot
Then he came out, started banging on my door
Kicked it open
Watch out son, i got a tasergun
Watch out son, i got a tasergun
He's on the loose
He's got the juice
Like a mad dog with no teeth
Spent his pension in adult bookstores
Bringin strange young men home
He'd leave me notes in the bathroom
Accusin' me of stealin' his toilet paper
Come out into the hallway
Dressed up in a greasy bathrobe
Tryin' to start a fight
He became known as the electric old man
And i still see him with his taser
Comin' at me
Watch out son, i got a tasergun
Watch out son, i got a tasergun
He's on the loose
He's got the juice
Like a pigeon with no wings
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8. _ 8.4.82
Today's, uh, august 4th, 1982.
I'm really bored and there was some dead animals that we played with.
There was a weed-wacker...we stole two of them.
A cop car was on fire.
My friend scott, he was running and he, uh, slipped on a twinkie.
And his nose was covered with blood...
The security helicopter shot a spotlight...
Somebody pulled their pants d...
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9. _ 11.6.45
It's, uh, november 6th, 1945, and we...
...went up to, and uh, back to the house and watched mtv...
...and playin' pac-man.
It's all really gross and all the kids were diseased.
Giant airplanes, uh, crashing underneath...
...electro-magnetic fuse...guys with flamethrowers...melting.
Taco trucks were crashed.
There was sausage meat all over the...
Sasquatch was eating a burrito.
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10. _ Dead Wild Cat
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11. _ Rowboat
Rowboat
Row me to the shore
She don't
Wanna be my friend no more
She dug a hole
In the bottom of my soul
She don't
Wanna be my friend no more
Pick me up
Give me some food to eat
In your truck
Goin' no place
I'll be home
Talkin' to nobody
You'll be strange
You'll be far away
Big fat moon
And my body's out of tune
With the burnin' waves
She's a billion years away
Dogfood on the floor
And i've been like this before
She is all
And everything else is small
Pick me up
Give me some alcohol
In your truck
Playin' the radio
I'll be home
With the gasoline
You'll be stoned
You'll be far away
Rowboat
Row me to the shore
She don't
Wanna be my friend no more
She dug a hole
In the bottom of my soul
She is all
And everything else is small
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12. _ No Money No Honey
No money, no honey [x16]
One more time
Keep goin'
One more time
No money, no honey [x6]
What's your name?
My name's ken.
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13. _ Puttin' It Down
Big pain
Burnin' down
Givin' me a cow
What you seem to be saying
Is you're patiently waiting
Like an ashtray for the butt
Well i'm puttin' it down
But you're not pickin' it up
Well i'm puttin' it down
But you treat me like a clown
And i don't wanna be funny
Fat chance
Glued to the wall
Like a centerfold
Of an old cannonball
Will you put me inside
Your tv tonight
'cause you're treatin' me like a rerun
Well i'm puttin' it down
But you're not pickin' it up
Well i'm puttin' it down
But you treat me like a clown
And i don't wanna be funny
No no no no
So what
I lost my job at the hut
My ass got cut
But i'll be better at kissin'
When my teeth are all missin'
And the silverware's burnt
And i'm eatin' with my fingers
And i'm puttin' it down
And you're not pickin' it up
Well i'm puttin it down
But you treat me like a clown
And i don't want to be funny
Yeah yeah yeah yeah, etc.
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14. _ Thunder Peel
It's a cold ass fashion when she stole my passion
It's an everlasting, it's a ghettoblasting
On the wonderwheel i let my thunder peel
I made an effort to get just what i deserve
I got all maxed out, i got faxed some doubt
I was jumping around, she was a runnin' coming down
In the thick of a trick, i couldn't take my pick
Between a slime and a fist just to cool off your dog
I'm taking morphine[?]
Now i'm rolling in sweat
With a loaf of cold bread
And a taco in my jeans
On the map if you glide
She's got such ugly thighs
I got taken by surprise
With the plate of flaming noodles
It's a cold ass fashion when she stole my passion
It's an everlasting, it's a ghettoblasting
On the wonderwheel i let my thunder peel
I made an effort to get just what i deserve
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15. _ Today Has Been A Fucked Up Day
Today has been a fucked-up day
Today has been a fucked-up day
Today has been a fucked-up day
Looks like tomorrow'll be the same old day
Today has been a fucked-up day
Today has been a fucked-up day
Today has been a fucked-up day
Looks like tomorrow'll be the same old day
There's people runnin' up and down the line
With grocery bags on they heads
And dollar bills pasted onto their faces
Squeegee in their hand
Woo, woo, woo...
Woo!
Woohoo!
Woohoohoo!
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16. _ Rollins Power Sauce
[slowed down:] ummm...my throat muscles are completely shredded
You tell no one
'bout barney
Leaning on you
Dirty pictures
False faces
Bloody wallet
Ripped out your heart
Put on my clothes
No one'll want you
With a bloody bozo
With a bloody bozo
And i got no focus
Got no focus...
Oh...
Ow...
[slowed down:] use the taser
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17. _ Waitin' For A Train
[the following intro is spoken over someone speaking in french
And english, perhaps giving a french lesson]:
I'm an alien from another sphere. the thing i like about the
Earth is the range of colours -- fantastic to mundane; brilliant
To dull. as i was penetrating the ozone, i c.. perchanced to
Notice the orange peel-like quality of the light playing upon the
S.. the ocean. i gotta go right now; someone is videotaping me
In my spaceship.
All around a water tank
Just a-waitin' for a train
A thousand miles away from home
Just a-waitin' in the rain
I walked up to a breakman
Just to give him a line of talk
He said, if you got money,
I'll see that you don't walk
I haven't got a nickel,
Not a penny for to show
Get off, get off, you railroad bum
And he slammed the boxcar door
They let me off in texas
A state i dearly love
The moon 'n' stars above me... and what else?
( song written by jimmie rodgers and performed by ken)
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18. _ The Spirit Moves Me
Walkin' back to the burnin' schoolhouse
And the kids drinkin' in the park
Late at night and the spirit moves me
And i don't mind bein' afraid
Old man with no clothes
Leanin' on my fence
Tell me where the money goes
And the food don't taste the same
I'm gettin' fast at being the last
You know i don't need to waste no time
You can call me once a week
Tell me where i been
Phony lady layin' flat on the road
And the helicopter goin' by
And i'm down to the sound
Of a sky turned brown
And i'm lovin' everything you say
I don't think it's funny
When you shave both of my arms
Lately i been spittin' out the things
That i didn't mean to say
But that's alright, now
You don't listen to me anyway
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19. _ Pink Noise (rock Me Amadeus)
The tortures! the torment! pink noise! delicious!
The danger! the victims! demeanin'! religion!
She writhes! she rolls! olympic control!
The bricks! assaultin'! the rest homes are rotten!
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20. _ Crystal Clear (beer)
Plastic donut, can of spam
There's no kindness in this land
Better not let my good gal catch you here
She's gettin' all juiced up with a bottle of plain-wrap beer
Coffee clothing pasted on
Clean my gravestone when i'm gone
And you better not let my good gal catch you here
She's got a whole pile of things you don't wanna hear
Hitch my horse up to the town
I got my toenails painted brown
And you better not let my good gal catch you here
She'll cut you down and put the blame on me
Just a muscle in a bag
Throw my baby, don't let her sag
Ya better not let my good gal catch you here
She's getting all juiced up with a bottle of plain-wrap beer
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21. _ Satan Gave Me A Taco
Satan gave me a taco
And it made me really sick
The chicken was all raw
And the grease was mighty thick
The rice was all rancid
And the beans were so hard
I was getting kinda dizzy
Eatin' all the lard
There was aphids on the lettuce
And i ate every one
And after i was done
The salsa melted off my tongue
Pieces of tortilla
Got stuck in my throat
And the stains on my clothes
Burned a hole through my coat
My stomach was a'tremblin'
And i broke out in a rash
I was so dry and thirsty
And i didn't have no cash
So i went and found a hose
Tore off all my clothes
Turned on the water
And it shot right up my nose
Some old lady came along
And she thought i was a freak
So she beat me with her handbag
'til i could hardly speak
I was lying there naked
My body badly bruised
In a pool of my own blood
Unconscious and confused
Well the cops came and got me
And threw me in their van
And i woke up on the ceiling
And i couldn't find my hand
They took me to the judge
His eyes a'glowin' red
The courtroom was filled
With witches and the dead
Well the sheriff was a hell-hound
With fangs and claws
The prisoners were tied up
And chained to the walls
The air was getting thick
The smoke was getting thicker
The judge read the verdict
Said "cut off his head!"
Well they placed me on the altar
And they raised up the axe
My head was about to explode
When i noticed the marshall stacks
I noticed all the smoke machines
Cameras and the lights
Some guy with a microphone
Runnin' around dancin' in tights
And i noticed the crew
And the band playin' down below
And i realized i was in a rock video
So i went and joined the band
And i went out on tour
And i smoked a lot of heroin
And i passed out in manure
I made out with the groupies (aw yeah)
Started fires backstage (aw yeah, start 'em up)
Made a lot of money (aw yeah, i'm makin it)
And i gave it all away (give it all to me)
Well the band got killed (aw, bunch of losers)
So i started a solo career (aw haw, yeah
And i won all the awards (get 'em all now)
And i drank all the beer (drink it all up; get funky)
And i opened up the taco stand (aw haw, etc.)
Just to smell the smell
Cookin' with the devil
Fryin' down in hell
(git busy)
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22. _ Total Soul Future (eat It)
She got the soul
Yeah, she got's the soul
And she got's the soul
Now, she got some soul
She got a finger snap
With the lit cigarette
On my birthday cake
And she's the kickin' the shit
Ah, yeah
She rock 'n' roll
She got the soul
She rock 'n' roll
She got the soul
She rock 'n' roll
She got some soul
She rock and roll
She got the soul
Oh yeah, bring it on down, [etc.]
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23. _ One Foot In The Grave
There's a dead hobo on the patio
And an old barbed wire on the funeral fire
Well, you roll out the carpet and it better be red
And it better be long as the troubles in my head
Gonna be livin' one foot in the grave
Well, i was sittin' at home, cookin' up a steak
Satan came down, dressed like a snake
Well, he called my name as i turned up the flames
And then i realized i was out of mayonnaise
Well, you be livin' one foot in the grave
Yeah, don't go throwin' no coupons on my grave
Don't go carvin' no happy face on my tombstone
Woo!
Woo!
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