Welcome To The Beautiful South

(heaton/rotheray)
Why don't you sing 'i need you baby'?
'cause it rhymes with crazy and it rhymes with maybe
It rhymes with lady and much much more
And it doesn't rhyme with the 'f' word

Well simon le bon stayed round my house before
And he was sick on the plants and he was sick on the floor
And he wouldn't go home until he'd sung his song
With a backing harmony from paul young

Shell we dance again?
In our special way
With our trousers round
Our knees

Why don't your video have dancing girls?
With hips that curve and lips that curl
Legs are where the heartbeat starts
It's low in neckline and high in charts

But it's the partially clothed for the partially sighted
Behind over matter keeps the crowds delighted
We want rambo in a ra-ra skirt
Nastassia kinski in a brazilian shirt

(heaton/rotheray)
Birds are singing in the trees
As we rise up on a beautiful morning
But i can't hear
That beautiful sound
Because i'm permanently yawning

What about the time of the fancy dress
When you came dressed as your mum
And there i was splendid in my penguin suit
So scared to show my bill

You must have been listening to your carousel
Your carousel, that carousel

Remember the time
When i turned the house into a rocket ship
And you refused to come to mars
You said "it's too far"
You had to be back by six to watch your carousel
Saturn's much too far
You had to watch carousel (what's going on in there?)

When we first met
I asked you for your hand
I didn't really mean that hand
I meant join hands
Bake phallic cake (bake phallic cake)
Carry round sticky tape
And love those devil dogs
Be an indian elephant (be an indian elephant)
Bait straight people
But you must have missed my wink
You must have missed my wink

(i love you,
But you're boring, you know,
I really do love you
But you're so particularly boring)

Maybe you were too busy listening to carousel
Watching carousel, living carousel
You were listening to carousel
You were watching carousel

(heaton/rotheray)
Ooh you care, you really, really care
From the first 12" i made to the colour of my underwear
Ooh you know, you really, really know
Inside, outside in, from head to toe

But where were you in the colder days?
I'd like to know, i'd like to know
And where will you be in years to come?
I'd like to know, i'd like to know

So don't beg and don't plead
You can't have the heart you made bleed
You're in love with fame
So whilst we love, please don't scream my name

You're my friends, my only real friends
But i'd like to know where you'll be when the party ends
I remember your face the dance was slow
"easy" by the commodores and you said 'no'

But where were you in colder days?
I'd like to know, i'd like to know
And where will you be in years to come?
I'd like to know, i'd like to know

So here's an invitation to this caring nation
25 years from now will you come my cremation
Sherry or beer, family and friends
Will you be there? will you be there?
No fame, no fortune, no name in lights
Will you be there? will you be there?

(heaton/rotheray)
He was just a social drinker but social every night
He enjoyed a pint or two or three or four
She was just a silent thinker, silent every night
He'd enjoy the thought of killing her before

Well he was very rarely drunk but very rarely sober
And he didn't think the problem was his drink
But he only knew his problem when he knocked her over
And when the rotting flesh began to stink

Cry freedom for the woman in the wall
Cry freedom for she has no voice at all
I hear her cry all day, all night
I hear her voice from deep within the wall
Made a cross from knitting needles
Made a grave from hoover bags
Especially for the woman in the wall

She'd knitted him a jumper with dominoes on
So he wore it everyday in every week
Pretended to himself that she hadn't really gone
Pretended that he thought he beard her speak

Then at last it seemed that he was really winning
He felt that he had some sort of grip
But all of his new life was sent a-spinning
When the rotting wall began to drip

(heaton/rotheray)
You know your problem
You keep it all in
You know your problem
You keep it all in

That's right
The conversation we had last night
When all i wanted to do was
Knife you in the heart
I kept it all in

You know your problem
You keep it all in
You know your problem
You keep it all in

Midnight, a husband getting ready to fight
A daughter sleeps alone with the light
Turned on, she bears but
Keeps it all in

Just like that murder in '73
Just like that robbery in '62
With all there things that have happened to me
I kept it all in
Why do you keep on telling me now

You know your problem
You keep it all in
You know your problem
You keep it all in

That's sweet
That conversation we had last week
When you gagged and bound me up to my seat
You're right, i do
I keep it all in

(heaton/rotheray)
Your `fight them on the beaches' speeches make me despair
'cause if there's one thing we can guarantee is you will not he there
Tidying your room, making up your bed
And if your diary's full that week you'll send us lot instead

Send us lot instead, put a poppy by my lovers bed
We believe you when you say you've hurt your back

Have you ever been away
Where were you when we took calais?
You don 't know, you don't care
You 're just glad that you wasn't there
Have you ever been away

I'm afraid your rule britannia mania doesn't ring so true
If i was captain of the waves i'd turn the gun on you
Any last requests before you join dead?
I'll crap into your union jack and wrap it round your head

Wrap it round your head, take a look at all the blood we've shed
We'll believe you when you say it was worth it

Liberate the streets of europe, give our kids a chance
Give them beaujolais by tap and cheap day trips to france
But you have never seen or smelt this ungodly death
It's like the stench of roasted lamb upon your father's breath