Licensed To Ill

Girls - all I really want is girls
And in the morning it's girls
Cause in the evening it's girls

I like the way that they walk
And it's chill to hear them talk
And I can always make them smile
From White Castle to the Nile

Back in the day
There was this girl around the way
She liked by home-piece M.C.A.
He said he would not give her play
I asked him, 'Please?' - he said, 'You may.'
Her pants were tight and that's ok
If she would dance - I would D.J.
We took a walk down to the bay

I hope she'll say, 'Hey me and you should hit the hay!'
I asked her out - she said, 'No way!'
I should of probly guessed her gay
So I broke North with no delay
I heard she moved real far away
That was two years ago this May
I seen her just the other day
Jockin' Mike D. to my dismay

Girls - to do the dishes
Girls - to clean up my room
Girls - to do the laundry
Girls - and in the bathroom
Girls - that's all I really want is girls
Two at a time - I want girls
With new wave hairdos - I want girls
I ought to whip out my - girls, girls, girls, girls, girls!

(chorus) Let it flow - let yourself go
Slow and low - that is the tempo

It's never old school - all brand new
So everybody catch - the bugaloo flu
Not like a fever - not like a cold
The beats are clear - the rhymes are bold
So don't see a doctor or see a nurse
Just listen to the music - first things first
First of all - get off the wall
It's time to party so have a ball
Because we slowed it on down - so get the hell up
Like a volcano I'll erupt
We got determination - bass and highs
White Castle fries only come in one size
What you see is what you get
And you ain't seen - nothing yet

(repeat chorus)

I do not sing - but I make a Def song
You could live your whole life - and I hope you live long
On the Gong Show we won't get gonged
We're the Beastie Boys - not Cheech and Chong
Strong as an ox - fresh out the box
The crowd is so live - they're coming in flocks
And when we go on - the crowd goes off
It's all hard rock - there's nothing soft
(repeat chorus)
We don't only rock the house but we'll house we rock
We don't stroll but we roll straight to the top
M.C.A., Adrock, Mike D. makes three
And we can do it like this in the place to be
When I'm recorded - you'll be rewarded
I know my song is Def 'cause you all applauded
Not P.C.P. or L.S.D. - just me Mike D. in the place to be
This is not free - you must pay a fee
Cash on delivery like a C.O.D.
(repeat chorus)
The beat is slow in order to dance
I wanna hear I dos and no I can't
First you move your legs - and then your arms
It's not fast and nervous - this dance is calm
It's truly stable and you ought to be able
To dance to the record when it's on the turntable
(repeat chorus)

Well this girl came up to me - she says she's new in town
But the crew been said they seen her around
I thought they were right but I didn't wanna know
The girlie was Def and she wanted to go
I think her name is Lucy but they all call Loose
I think I thought I seen her on eighth and forty-deuce
The next think she said, 'My place or yours?
Let's kick some bass behind closed doors!'
We got into the cab - the cab driver said
He recognized my girlie from the back of her head
He said a little something about tip to base
So I made him stop the cab to get out of the place
I shouldn't have looked back man I'll always regret it
Something's going on and I'll probably never get it
She was crying like a baby - stupid dumb
It's just too bad that girl's a bum

(chorus) She's crafty - she's gets around
She's crafty - she's always down
She's crafty - she's got a gripe
She's crafty - and she's just my type
She's crafty

I spent my last dollar to by a Sabrett
When I seen this girl I could never forget
Now I like nothing better than a pretty girl smile
And I haven't seen a smile that pretty in a while
The girl came up to me she said she loved the show
Asked her to come home and she couldn't say, 'No!'
We got the crib - there's Adam and D.
We didn't say a word - they just stared at me
I said, 'I don't know her just met her tonight.'
And Adrock started hiding everything in sight
D. pulled me over said, 'Hid your gold,
The girl is crafty like ice is cold!'
The girl is crafty - she knows all the moves
I started playing records - she knew all the grooves
He thought she was a thief - and D. was right
But I just figured she'd spend the night
When I woke up late in the afternoon
She had taken all the things from inside his room
I found myself sleeping in the middle of the floor
She had taken the bed and the chest of drawers
The mirror, the TV, the guitar cord
My remote control and my old skateboard
She robbed us blind - she took all we owned
And the boys blamed me for bringing her home

(repeat chorus)

Because mutiny on the bounty's what we're all about
I'm gonna board your ship and turn it on out
No soft sucker with a parrot on his shoulder
'Cause I'm bad gettin' bolder - cold getting colder
Terrorizing suckers on the seven seas
And if you've got beef - you'll get capped in the knees
We got sixteen men on a dead man's chest
And I shot those suckers and I'll shoot the rest

(chorus) Most illingest b-boy - I got that feeling
Cause I am most ill and I'm rhymin' and stealin'

Snatching gold chains - vicking pieces of eight
I got your money and your honey and the fly name plate
We got wenches on the benches - and bitties with titties
Housing all girlies from city to city
One for all and all for one
Taking out M.C.'s with a big shotgun
All for one and one for all
Because the Beastie Boys have gone A.W.O.L.
Friggin' in the riggin' and cuttin' your throat
Big biting suckers getting thrown in the moat
We got maidens and wenches - man they're on the ace
Captain Bly is gonna die when we break his face

(repeat chorus)

Ali Baba and the forty thieves

Torching and crakin' and rhymin' and stealin'
Robbin' and raping - busting two in the ceiling
I'm wheeling' - I'm dealin' - I'm drinking, not thinking
Never cower, never shower - and I'm always stinking
Yo ho ho and a pint of Brass Monkey
And when my girlie shakes her hips - she sure gets funky
Skirt chasing, free basing - killing every village
We drink and rob and rhyme and pillage

(repeat chorus)

I've been drinking my rum - a Def son of a gun
I fought the law and I cold won
Black Beard's weak - Moby Dick's on the tick
'Cause I pull out my jammy and squeeze off six
My pistol is loaded - I shot Betty Crocker
Deliver Colonel Sanders down to Davey Jones' locker
Rhymin' and stealin' in a drunken state
And I'll be rockin' my rhymes all the way to Hell's gate

(repeat chorus)

There's no confusion in her conclusion
She wants to waste my time and that's no delusion
Her final decision is perfection and precision
She's grade A class - number one in her division

(chorus) She's on it

She acts like a nag - I don't know how it started
Even when I'm chillin' - she acts retarded
It's gets annoying - so high on the tip
If a pirate had a Def Jam shirt - she'd be hard on his tip

(repeat chorus)

Cold chillin' in the spot - and she won't stop
She'll do what's best just to reach the top
She studies real hard - all night she'll cram
In school she majors in advanced Def Jam

(repeat chorus)

Her bedroom eyes - they start to twitch
But she won't front cause she's got that itch
She'd drop to her knees if I'd only say please
Instead of counting sheep - cold counting Beasties

(repeat chorus)

I'm not the type of person who likes to waste my time
And when I'm on the mic - I just say my rhymes
Because I'm out on bail - the check is in the mail
They can sentence me to life - but I won't go to jail
I'm cool calm collected - from class I was ejected
Just me, Mike D., and M.C.A. - we're rarely disrespected
I got all the time that I need to kill
What's the time? - it's time to get ill

You been fully captivated by that funky ass bass
Your girlfriend screams when M.C.A.'s in the place
He stumbles in the room with the Chivas in his hand
Cold chillin' on the spot at the microphone stand
I'd have the pedal to the metal if I had a car
But I'm chiller with the Miller - cold coolin' at the bar
I can drink a quart of Monkey and still stand still
What's the time? - it's time to get ill

Went outside my house - I went down to the deli
I spent my last dime to refill my fat belly
I got rhymes galime - I got rhymes galilla
And I got more rhymes than Phillis Diller
M.C.A. takes a stand - man you're in command
Homeboy, turn it out and don't give a damn
My name is M.C.A. - I've got a license to kill
What's the time? - it's time to get ill

Riding down the block with my box in my hand
Today I feel like chillin' just as chill as I can
Coolin' on the corner with a forty of O.E.
'Cause me and M.C.A. we're down with Mike D.
When I run a jam - I don't give a damn
When I'm throwing bass - I say, 'Thank you ma'am.'
Fuel injected, rhyme connected - running things
I'm the King Adrock and I'm the king of all kings
I'm looking for a spot - things are gettin' hot
I'm M.C.A., I'm here to stay - and you sir, are not
Oh no, it could not be - it's such a sight to see
It's such a trip - you're on my tip so listen to Mike D.
My work is my play - cause I'm playing when I work
My name's Mike D., as you can see and I can dot the jerk
M.C.A., Adrock, Mike D. - it's chill
What's the time? - it's time to get ill

And on the cool check in
Center stage on the mic
And we're puttin' it on wax
It's the new style

Four and three and two and one (What up!)
And when I'm on the mic - the suckers run (Word!)
Down with Adrock and Mike D. and you ain't
And I got more juice than Picasso got paint
Got rhymes that are rough and rhymes that are slick
I'm not surprised you're on my dick
B-E-A-S-T-I-E, what up Mike D.
Ah yeah, that's me
I got franks and pork and beans
Always bust the new routines
I get it - I got it, I know it's good
The rhymes I write - you wish you would I'm never in training - my voice is not straining
People always biting and I'm sick of complaining
So I went into the locker room during classes
Bust into your locker and I smashed your glasses
You're from Secausus - I'm from Manhattan
You're jealous of me because your girlfriend is cattin'

(bridge) There it is - kick it!!!

Father to many - married to none
And in case you're unaware I carry a gun
Stepped into the party - the place was over packed
Saw the kid that dissed my homey and shot him in the back
I had to get a beeper 'cause my phone is tapped
You better keep your mouth shut 'cause I'm fully strapped
I got money in the bank - I can still get high
That's why your girlfriend thinks that I'm so fly
I've got money and juice - twin sisters in my bed
Their father had envy so I shot him in the head
If I played guitar I'd be Jimmy Page
The girlie's I like are underage (Check it!)
Girls with boyfriends are the kind I like
I'll steal your honey like I stole your bike
Your father - he's jealous 'cause I'm making that green
I've got the girlie's numbers from the places I been

(repeat bridge)

You wanna know why - because I'm
October 31st - that is my date of birth
I got to the party and I did the Smurf
Taxing all females from coast to coast
And when I get my fill I'm chilly most
We rag-tag girlies back at the hotel
And then we all switch places when I ring the bell
I chill at White Castle 'cause it's the best
But I'm fly at Fat Burger when I way out west
K-I-N-G-A-D whammy
All the fly ladies are on my jammy
Went to the prom - wore the fly blue rental
Got six girlies in my Lincoln Continental
Met this girl at the party and she started to flirt
I told her some rhymes and she pulled up her skirt
Spent some bank - I got a high powered jumbo
Rolled up a wooly and I watched Colombo

Let me clear my throat - Kick it over here baby pop
And let all the fly skimmies, feel the beat...drop

Coolin' on the corner on a hot summer day
Just me, my posse and M.C.A.
A lot of beer - a lot of girls - and a lot of cursing
Twenty-two automatic on my person
Got my hand in my pocket and my finger's on the trigger
My posse's gettin' big - and my posse's gettin' bigger
Some voices got treble - some voices got bass
We got the kind of voices that are in your face
Like the bun to the burger - like the burger to the bun
Like the cherry to the apple - to the peach to the plum
I'm the king of the Ave. - and I'm the king of the block
I'm M.C.A. - and I'm the King Adrock
I'm Mike D. - I got all the fly juice
On the checkin' at the party on the forty deuce
Walking down the block with the fresh fly threads
Beastie Boys fly the biggest heads