Licensed To Ill

They got a committee to get me off the block
'Cause I say my rhymes loud and I say 'em nonstop
Because being bad news is what we're all about
We went to White Castle and we got thrown out
I got my boy Mike D. - I got the King Adrock I got the jammy with the ammo inside my sock
I shot homeboy but the bullet was a dud
So I reached in the Miller cooler - grabbed a cool Bud
Slow riding, gun hidin' on the go
I'm fly like an eagle and I drink Old Crow
I'm the king of the classroom - coolin' in the back
My teacher had beef so I gave her a smack
She chased me out of class 0 she was strapped with a ruler
Went to the bathroom - rolled myself a wooler
With bottle in hand at the microphone stand
A. yo homeboy - what you drinkin' man

I got money - I got juice
I got to the party and I got loose
I got rhythm - I got rhymes
I got the girlies with the Def behinds
I got ill - I got busted
I got dust and I got dusted
I got gold - I got funky
I got the new dance - they call the Brass Monkey

Because I'm hard hittin' - always biten - cool as hell
I got trees on my mirror so my car won't smell
Sittin' around the house - gettin' high and watchin' tube
Eating Colonel's chicken - drinkin' Heineken brew
I'm a gangster, I'm a prankster - I'm the king of the Ave.
I'm hated, confrontated for the juice that I have
All the fly ladies are making a fuss
But I can't pay attention - 'cause I'm on that dust

How here's a little story - I've got to tell
About three bad brothers - you know so well
It started way back in history
With Adrock, M.C.A., and me - Mike D.
Been had a little horsy named Paul Revere
Just me and my horsy and a quart of beer
Riding across the land - kicking up sand
Sheriff's posse on my tail cause I'm in demand
One lonely Beastie I be
All by myself - without nobody
The sun is beating down on my baseball hat
The air is gettin' hot - the beer is getting flat
Lookin' for a girl - I ran into a guy
His name is M.C.A., I said, 'Howdy' - he said, 'Hi'

He told a little story - that sounded well rehearsed
Four days on the run and that he's dying of thirst
The brew was in my hand - and he was on my tip
His voice was hoarse, his throat was dry - he asked me for a sip
He said, 'Can I get some?'
I said, 'You can't get none!'
Had a chance to run
He pulled out his shotgun
He was quick on the draw - I thought I'd be dead
He put the gun to my head and this is what he said,

'Now my name is M.C.A. - I've got a license to kill
I think you know what time it is - it's time to get ill
Now what do we have here - an outlaw and his beer
I run this land, you understand - I make myself clear.'
We stepped into the wind - he had a gun, I had a grin
You think this story's over but it's ready to begin

'Now I got the gun - you got the brew
You got two choices of what you can do
It's not a tough decision as you can see
I can blow you away or you can ride with me' I said, I'll ride with you if you can get me to the border
The sheriff's after me for what I did to his daughter
I did it like this - I did it like that
I did it with a whiffleball bat
So I'm on the run - the cop's got my gun
And right about now - it's time to have some fun
The King Adrock - that is my name
And I know the fly spot where they got the champagne.'
We rode for six hours the we hit the spot
The beat was a bumping and the girlies was hot
This dude was staring like he knows who we are
We took the empty spot next to him at the bar
M.C.A. said, 'Yo, you know this kid?'
I said, 'I didn't.' - but I know he did
The kid said, 'Get ready cause this ain't funny
My name's Mike D. and I'm about to get money.'
Pulled out the jammy - aimed it at the sky
He yelled, 'Stick 'em up!' - and let two fly
Hands went up and people hit the floor
He wasted two kids that ran for the door
'I'm Mike D. and I get respect
Your cash and your jewelry is what I expect'
M.C.A. was with it and he's my ace
So I grabbed the piano player and I punched him in the face
The piano player's out - the music stopped
His boy had beef - and he got dropped
Mike D. grabbed the money - M.C.A. snatched the gold
I grabbed two girlies and a beer that's cold.

(chorus) Brass Monkey - that funky Monkey
Brass Monkey - junkie
That funky Monkey

Got this dance that's more than real
Drink Brass Monkey - here's how you feel
Put your left leg down - your right leg up
Tilt your head back - let's finish the cup
M.C.A. with the bottle - D. rocks the can
Adrock gets nice with Charlie Chan
We're offered Moet - we don't mind Chivas
Wherever we go with bring the Monkey with us
Adrock drinks three - Mike D. is D.
Double R. foots the bill most definitely
I drink Brass Monkey and I rock well
I got a Castle in Brooklyn - that's where I dwell

(repeat chorus)

Cause I drink it anytime - and anyplace
When it's time to get ill - I pour it on my face
Monkey tastes Def when you pour it on ice
Come on y'all it's time to get nice
Coolin' by the lockers getting kind of funky
Me and the crew - we're drinking Brass Monkey
This girl walked by - she gave me the eye
I reached in the locker - grabbed the Spanish Fly
I put it with the Monkey - mixed it in the cup
Went over to the girl, 'Yo baby, what's up?'
I offered her a sip - the girl she gave me lip
It did begin the stuff wore in and now she's on my tip

(repeat chorus)

Step up to the bar - put the girl down
She takes a big gulp and slaps it around
Take a sip - you can do it - you get right to it
We had a case in the place and we went right through it
You got a dry Martini - thinking you're cool
I'll take your place at the bar - I smack you off your stool
I'll down a '40 dog' in a single gulp
And if you got beef you'll get beat to a pulp
Monkey and parties and reelin' and rockin'
Def, def - girls, girls - all y'all jockin'
The song and dance keeping you in a trance
If you don't buy my record I got my advance
I drink it - I think it - I see it - I be it
I love Brass Monkey but I won't give D. it
We got the bottle - you got the cup
Come on everybody let's get ffffff

(repeat chorus)

Now I chill real ill when I start to chill
When I fill my pockets with a knot of dollar bills
Sipping pints of ale out the window sill
When I get my fill I'm chilly chill
Now I just got home because I'm out on bail
What's the time? - it's time to buy ale
Peter eater - parking meter all of the time
If I run out of ale - it's Thunderbird wine
Miller drinking - chicken eating - dress so fly
I got friends in high places that are keeping me high
Dow with Mike D. and it ain't no hassle
Got the ladies of the eighties from here to White Castle

(chorus) Hold it now - hit it !

M.C. - Adam Yauch in the place to be
And all the girls are on me cause I'm down with Mike D.
I'm down with Mike D. and it ain't no baloney
For real, not phony - 'O.E.' and Rice-a-Roni
I come out at night 'cause I sleep all day
And I'm the King Adrock and he's M.C.A.
Well I'm cruising, I'm bruising - I'm never ever losing
I'm in my car - I'm going far and dust is what I'm using
Around the way is where I'm from
And I'm from Manhattan and I'm not a bum
Because you're pud-slapping, ball-flapping - got that juice
My name's Mike D. and I can do that Jerry Lewis

(repeat chorus)

Hip-hop, body rockin' - doing the do
Beer drinking, breath stinking, sniffing glue
Belly flipping, always illing, busting caps
My name's Mike D. and I write my own snaps
I'm a peep-show seeking on the forty-deuce
I'm a killer at large and I'm on the loose
Pistol packing, Monkey drinking, no money bum
I come from Brooklyn 'cause that's where I'm from
Cheap-skate, perpetrating - money hungry jerk
Everyday I drink a 'O.E.' and I don't go to work
You drippy nose knuckle-head - you're we behind the ears
You like men - and we like beer.

(repeat chorus)

King of the Ave. with the Def female
You're rhyming and stealin' with the freshest ale
Cooling at the crib watching my TV
Ed Norton - Ted Knight - and Mr. Ed
Pump it up homeboy - just don't stop
Chef Boy-ar-dee cooling on the pot
I take no slack cause I got the knack
And I'm never dusting out cause I torch that crack
The King Adrock - that is my name
And you're drinking Moet - we got the champagne
A quarter dropping - going shopping buying wigs
Surgeon general cut professor - D.J. Thigs

(repeat chorus)

There's no confusion in her conclusion
She wants to waste my time and that's no delusion
Her final decision is perfection and precision
She's grade A class - number one in her division

(chorus) She's on it

She acts like a nag - I don't know how it started
Even when I'm chillin' - she acts retarded
It's gets annoying - so high on the tip
If a pirate had a Def Jam shirt - she'd be hard on his tip

(repeat chorus)

Cold chillin' in the spot - and she won't stop
She'll do what's best just to reach the top
She studies real hard - all night she'll cram
In school she majors in advanced Def Jam

(repeat chorus)

Her bedroom eyes - they start to twitch
But she won't front cause she's got that itch
She'd drop to her knees if I'd only say please
Instead of counting sheep - cold counting Beasties

(repeat chorus)

And on the cool check in
Center stage on the mic
And we're puttin' it on wax
It's the new style

Four and three and two and one (What up!)
And when I'm on the mic - the suckers run (Word!)
Down with Adrock and Mike D. and you ain't
And I got more juice than Picasso got paint
Got rhymes that are rough and rhymes that are slick
I'm not surprised you're on my dick
B-E-A-S-T-I-E, what up Mike D.
Ah yeah, that's me
I got franks and pork and beans
Always bust the new routines
I get it - I got it, I know it's good
The rhymes I write - you wish you would I'm never in training - my voice is not straining
People always biting and I'm sick of complaining
So I went into the locker room during classes
Bust into your locker and I smashed your glasses
You're from Secausus - I'm from Manhattan
You're jealous of me because your girlfriend is cattin'

(bridge) There it is - kick it!!!

Father to many - married to none
And in case you're unaware I carry a gun
Stepped into the party - the place was over packed
Saw the kid that dissed my homey and shot him in the back
I had to get a beeper 'cause my phone is tapped
You better keep your mouth shut 'cause I'm fully strapped
I got money in the bank - I can still get high
That's why your girlfriend thinks that I'm so fly
I've got money and juice - twin sisters in my bed
Their father had envy so I shot him in the head
If I played guitar I'd be Jimmy Page
The girlie's I like are underage (Check it!)
Girls with boyfriends are the kind I like
I'll steal your honey like I stole your bike
Your father - he's jealous 'cause I'm making that green
I've got the girlie's numbers from the places I been

(repeat bridge)

You wanna know why - because I'm
October 31st - that is my date of birth
I got to the party and I did the Smurf
Taxing all females from coast to coast
And when I get my fill I'm chilly most
We rag-tag girlies back at the hotel
And then we all switch places when I ring the bell
I chill at White Castle 'cause it's the best
But I'm fly at Fat Burger when I way out west
K-I-N-G-A-D whammy
All the fly ladies are on my jammy
Went to the prom - wore the fly blue rental
Got six girlies in my Lincoln Continental
Met this girl at the party and she started to flirt
I told her some rhymes and she pulled up her skirt
Spent some bank - I got a high powered jumbo
Rolled up a wooly and I watched Colombo

Let me clear my throat - Kick it over here baby pop
And let all the fly skimmies, feel the beat...drop

Coolin' on the corner on a hot summer day
Just me, my posse and M.C.A.
A lot of beer - a lot of girls - and a lot of cursing
Twenty-two automatic on my person
Got my hand in my pocket and my finger's on the trigger
My posse's gettin' big - and my posse's gettin' bigger
Some voices got treble - some voices got bass
We got the kind of voices that are in your face
Like the bun to the burger - like the burger to the bun
Like the cherry to the apple - to the peach to the plum
I'm the king of the Ave. - and I'm the king of the block
I'm M.C.A. - and I'm the King Adrock
I'm Mike D. - I got all the fly juice
On the checkin' at the party on the forty deuce
Walking down the block with the fresh fly threads
Beastie Boys fly the biggest heads

(chorus) No sleep 'til - Brooklyn

Foot on the pedal - never ever false metal
Engine running hotter than a boiling kettle
My job's ain't a job - it's a damn good time
City to city - I'm running my rhymes
On location - touring around the nation
Beastie Boys always on vacation
Itchy trigger finger but a stable turntable
I do what I do best because I'm illing and able
Ain't no faking - your money I'm taking
Going coast to coast - watching all the girlies shaking
While you're at the job working nine to five
The Beastie Boys at the Garden - cold kickin' it live

(bridge) No sleep 'til -

Another place - another train
Another bottle in the brain
Another girl - another fight
Another drive all night
Our manager's crazy - he always smokes dust
He's got his own room at the back of the bus
Tour around the world - you rock around the clock
Plane to hotel - girls on the jock
We're thrashing hotels like it's going out of style
Getting paid along the way cause it's worth your while
Four on the floor - Adrock's out the door
M.C.A.'s in the back because he's skeezin' with a whore
We got a safe in the trunk with money in a stack
With dice in the front and Brooklyn's in the back

(repeat bridge)

(repeat chorus)

Ain't seen the light since we started this band
M.C.A. - get on the mic my man
Born and bred Brooklyn - U.S.A.
They all me Adam Yauch - but I'm M.C.A.
Like a lemon to a lime - a lime to a lemon
I sip the def ale with all the fly women
Got limos, arena, TV shows
Autograph pictures and classy hos
Step off homes - get out of my way
Taxing little girlies form here to L.A.
Waking up but I get to sleep
Cause I'll be rocking this party eight days a week

(repeat chorus)