Pins And Needles

Performed by barbra streisand

It's darker than the dark bottom
It rumbles more than the rumba
If you think that the two-steps got 'em
Just take a look at this number
It's got that certain swing
That makes you wanna sing

Don't go left, but be polite
Move to the right
Doing the reactionary

Close your eyes to where you're bound
And you'll be found
Doing the reactionary

All the best dictators do it
Millionaires keep steppin' to it
The four hundred love to sing it
Ford and morgan swing it

Hands up high and shake your head
You'll soon see red
Doing the reactionary

Don't go left, but be polite
Move to the right
Doing the reactionary

Close your eyes to where you're bound
And you'll be found
Doing the reactionary

All the best dictators do it
Millionaires keep steppin' to it
The four hundred love to sing it
Ford and morgan swing it

Hands up high and shake your head
You'll soon see red
Doing the reac-
Doing the reac-
Tionary

So get in it, begin it
It's smart, oh, so very
To do the reactionary!

Performed by barbra streisand

Are you ready to hear your lesson for the day?
-yes, teacher! yes, teacher!
Are you ready to learn what history has to say?
-yes, teacher! yes, teacher!
Then take your books and follow me to 1776 ad
And as the history page is turned we will see what we can learn
-yes, teacher! yes, teacher! yes, teacher!

In 1776 tom paine was writing books with a might and main
The tory said "now man alive"
Stop giving out with this here liberty jive
-stop giving out with this here liberty jive

Don't sing of people's rights that way
They might believe in what you say
So stop your song it's not polite
Pipe down before you start a fight

-you don't say, teacher, is that right?

Aha, but tom paine looked ahead
And to those tories thomas said no, no, no, no
When you got to go, you got to go
You can't stand still on freedom's track
If you don't go forward, you go back
You can't giddyup by saying whoa
And sitting on your status quo

-yes, teacher! yes, teacher! yes, teacher! yes, teacher!

To washington at valley forge
A wise guy whispered slow down, george
Why start up trouble for the king
This freedom racket is a corny thing

-this freedom racket is a corny thing

Your troops are ickys they can't move
You'll never get them in the groove
So if you're wise, you'll just lay low
And play with the guys that have the dough

-you don't say teacher, is that so?

Aha, but george just looked ahead
And to that tory georgie said...no...no, no, no
When you got to go, you got to go
You can't stand still on freedom's track
If you don't go forward, you go back
You can't giddyup by saying whoa
And sitting on your status quo

-yes, teacher! yes, teacher!

Now paul revere saw a bellfry light
And that boy rode to town one night
Sang to the farmers near and far
Here come the british beating eight to the bar

One slippery tory said now paul
You're manners aren't nice at all
Turn back, don't be an old hep cat
The right people don't sing like that

-butpaul revere turn him down flat
Aha, that's right, he rode ahead
And to that tory paul just said, no, no, no, no
When you got to go, you got to go
You can't stand still on freedom's track
If you don't go forward, you go back
You can't giddyup by saying whoa
And sitting on your status quo

Yes, teacher! yes, teacher! yes, teacher
So, students now you're hep, don't stop!
Keep stepping to that freedom hop
Although the tory's beef and blow
To keep you sitting on your status quo

-to keep you sitting on your status quo

When they say let's stand still a bit
Give up some rights, no harm in it
Remember those are just the tricks
That did not work in 76

-now ain't that right, the same old tricks?

Though torys talk: don't be misled
And do what all those others said

No, no, no, no
When you got to go, you got to go
You can't stand still on freedom's track
If you don't go forward, you go back
You can't giddyup by saying whoa
And sitting on your status ...
Sitting on, yes, sittin' on your, status...

Quo!

Oh!

Performed by barbra streisand

I want men that i can squeeze, that i can please, that i can tease
Two or three or four or more!
What are those fools waiting for?
I want love and i want kissing i want more of what i'm missing

Nobody comes knocking at my front door
What do they think my knocker's for?
If they don't come soon there won't be any more!
What can the matter be?

I wash my clothes with lux, my etiquette's the best,
I spend my hard-earned bucks on just what the ads suggest
Oh dear what can the matter be
Nobody makes a pass at me!

I'm full of kellogg's bran, eat grapenuts on the sly,
A date is on the can of coffee that i buy
Oh dear, what can the matter be?
Nobody makes a pass at me!

Oh beatrice fair-fax, give me the bare facts,
How do you make them fall?
If you don't save me, the things the lord gave me
Never will be any use to me at all.

I sprinkle on a dash of "fragrance de amour,"
The ads say "makes men rash" but i guess their smell is pour
Oh dear what can the matter be
Nobody makes a pass at me.

I use ovaltine and listerine, barbasol and musterole
Life buoy soap and flit, so why ain't i got it?

I use coca cola and marmola, crisco, lesco and mazola,
Ex-lax and vapex, so why ain't i got sex?

I use albolene and maybellene, alka seltzer, bromo seltzer,
Odorono and sensation
So why ain't i got fascination?

My girdles come from the best, times ads say they're chick
And up above i'm dressed in the brassier of the week
Oh dear, what can the matter be?
Nobody makes a pass at me!

I use pond's on my skin, with rye-crisp i have thinned
I get my culture in i began "gone with the wind"
Oh dear, what can the matter be?
Nobody makes a pass at me!

Oh dor'thy dix, please, show me some tricks,
Please, i want some men to hold
I want attention and things i can't mention
And i want them all before i get too old

I use mum ev'ry day and angelus liplure,
But still men stay away just like iv'ry soap i'm pure
Just like i result of 99 and 44
One hundred percent p.o.
Oh dear what can the matter be?
Nobody makes a pass at me

Performed by barbra streisand

Everywhere i go
I hear sweet songs about the moon
Songs about the stars above
And songs of love and june
Songs of hearts that beat as one
To some sweet lovers tune
But they're not songs that sing for me
Songs about the dream that lies
Within a lover's eyes
Songs about the cloudless sky
And lover's paradise
Songs about the joys of love
And lovers lullabies
But there not songs that sing for me
What good is love?
If you have to face
Cold hungry days and sighing
What good is love?
If life's just a race
To keep your heart from crying
Let the poet sing of skies above
And endless love
And hearts that dance
Where is my chance?
For the call of romance
What good is love?
If you haven't got
All that makes life worth living
What good is love?
If you haven't got
Even a thing worth giving
You can keep your little songs
That sing of all the joy that love can bring
What good's romance?
What good is love to me?
You can keep your little songs
That sing of all the joy that love can bring
What good's romance?
What good is love to me?

He:
I've decided the only way i can woo
Is to take a hint from the affl and the cio
She:
Now you're talking, perhaps i might listen to you
I don't say that i'll yes,
But don't say i'll say no
He:
Then it's not too late to negotiate
She:
Oh, well, we'll see
Both:
Perhaps we can agree
He:
I'm on a campaign to make you mine
I'll picket you until you sign
In one big union for two
No courts and junction can make me stop
Until your love is all closed shop
In one big union for two
Seven days a week i want the right
To call you mine both day and night
The hours may be long
But fifty million union members can't be wrong
She:
When we have joined up perhaps there'll be
A new recruit or two or three
For that's what team work can do
Both:
In one big union for two
She:
We won't have sit-downs inside our gate
We'll never need to arbitrate
In one big union for two
He:
We will have no lock-outs to make us frown
No stabbing when i'm out of town
In one big union for two
She:
Will you pay your dues,
They're very light
A kiss each day
And a kiss each night
Our life will be a song
For..
Both:
Fifty million union members can't be wrong
He:
When we have signed up and made the grade
We'll let a member-
She:
Union made
Both:
Who looks like me and like you
In one big union for two