Best Of Th

Hey toots, you put the life into living
You brought a sigh into sight
Ah hon, you make my legs turn to water
You bring the stars out at night
But they ain't half so bright
As your eyes
Gee whiz, you take the beauty out of beautiful
You play the strings of my heart
Oh babe, you take the wonder out of wonderful
Oh my, oh my, and my, if you were mine
The rain would turn to sweet sweet wine
Well he's been up all night
Breakin' his head in two to write
A little sonnet for his chickadee
But between you and me
I think its sssssssssssilly. silly
Ooh treas, you got a smile like a rembrandt
Aha, you got the style of a queen
Oh dear, you are the petal of a rosebud
Next to you all the others could be weeds
You're the only one my garden needs
Ooh, you know the art of conversation
Must be dying
Ooh, when a romance depends on
Cliches and toupees and threepes
We're up to here with moonin' and junin'
If you want to sound sincere -
Don't rely on crosby's croonin' -
Take a little time
Make up your own rhyme
Don't rely on mine
`cos it's sssssssssilly - silly - silly - silly

Here's a new dance that you all can do
Baby, baby, what's he gonna do?
Sit back and relax `cos it's good for you
Baby, baby, what's he gonna do?
What's he gonna say?
He's takin' my breath away
Well if you're tired of doing the boogaloo
And you're afraid of doing the swim
`cos you think you will drown
In the noise of the record
And the klutz on the floor
He ain't there anymore
`cos all you wanna do
Is be alone at the bar
All you wanna do is be alone at the bar
You wanna drown in your cocktail
You wanna leave with the laundry
If your mind is trippin'
But your disc is slippin'
Here's what you gotta do -
Nothing
In any tempo and any rhythm
C'mon mac do the sacro-iliac
C'mon back do the sacro-iliac
I said c'mon back do the sacro-iliac
Well it's easy
Here's the new dance that you 'll wanna do
So easy
Don't want to annoy ya with my paranoia
Now i'm doing the dance that is good for me
Baby, baby, what's it gonna be?
I ain't no astaire, but i've a right to be
Baby, baby, when's he gonna learn?
Where's he gonna stay?
He's taken my breath away
Well i'm bored with the beat of the shing-a-ling
And the lindy is leaving me cold
`cos i've never been freaky or funky or laid back
And the lush on the floor
Isn't me anymore
And i never ever wanna be alone
At the bar
Never ever wanna be alone at the bar
So c'mon mac do the sacro-iliac
C'mon back do the sacro-iliac
Won't you c'mon back do the sacro-iliac
C'mon back do the sacro-iliac
Won't you come on back do the sacro-iliac

I went to a party at the local county jail
All the cons were dancing and the band began to wail
But the guys were indiscreet
They were brawling in the street
At the local dance at the local county jail
Well the band were playing
And the booze began to flow
But the sound came over on the police car radio
Down at precinct 49
Having a tear-gas of a time
Sergeant baker got a call from the governor of the county jail
Load up, load up, load up with rubber bullets
Load up, load up, load up with rubber bullets
I love to hear those convicts squeal
It's a shame these slugs ain't real
But we can't have dancin' at the local county jail
Sergeant baker and his men made a bee-line for the jail
And for miles around
You could hear the sirens wail
There's a rumor goin' round death row
That a fuse is gonna blow
At the local hop at the local county jail
Whatcha gonna do about it, whatcha gonna do
Whatcha gonna do about it, whatcha gonna do
Sergeant baker started talkin'
With a bullhorn in his hand
He was cool, he was clear
He was always in command
He said "blood will flow;
Here padre
Padre you talk to your boys..."
"trust in me -
God will come to set you free"
Well we don't understand
Why you called in the national guard
When uncle sam is the one
Who belongs in the exercise yard
We all got balls and brains
But some's got balls and chains
At the local dance at the local county jail
Load up, load up, load up with rubber bullets
Load up, load up, load up with rubber bullets
Is it really such a crime
For a guy to spend his time
At the local dance at the local county jail
At the local dance at the local county jail
Whatcha gonna do about it, whatcha gonna do
Whatcha gonna do about it, whatcha gonna do

"i'm a clockwork creep
And i can't get to sleep
They wind me up and let me go
And i can't unwind
Going out of my mind
My time is coming soon you know"
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
"i'm a jumbo jet
With a brand new set
Of passengers and bags and crew
I'll spread my wings -
Do a thousand things
To prove how good i am to you"
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Meanwhile in the cargo of escargot
The temperature is rising
Advertising that our time is running
Down, down, down, down, down
Oh with just one minute to live
Oh, no you'll never get me up in one of these again
`cos what goes up must come
Down, down, down, down, down
Down, down, down, down, down
Oh, the gravity of the situation
It's only my willpower
That keeps this thing in operation
But we're gonna crash that's for certain
The pilot is too busy flirtin'
And he ain't aware
That there's a bomb down there
And if he don't do something it's curtains
"now just hold on,"
Said the little bomb,
"if you were just to hold my hands
Then time would stop
The plot would flop
And jumbo would be safe to land"
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
My landings are the envy
Of sabena and pan am
From chattanooga to japan
I taxi through the airways -
What a swell little plane
What a fine little plane
What a great little plane
I am
"hang on one sec
I'm a clockwork wreck
And though my fuse is burning slow
Must keep my date to detonate
Goodbye, ta ta, and cheerio
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a tick a time bomb
Tick a........."

In the middle of a caravan
On a four wheel drive oasis
There's a man with a thought in mind
To cash in on the desert faces
He's got a truckload of yorkshire girls
For your harem going places
And the border bums never saw
The guns in the whiskey cases
There's a real, big demand
And it's written in the palm of his hand
He's gonna change the face of the desert
He's gonna sweep away the sand
Hang on sheik, i've got a yellow streak
I ain't here, i'm a mirage
Get back des, keep it under your fez
And don't give us away in the massage
Look what i did for the pyramid
I put a pool in and made it pay
I built an elevator and a film theatre
And i shipped it to the u.s.a.
`cos there's a real big demand
And it's written in the palm of my hand
I'm gonna change the face of the desert
I'm gonna sweep away the sand
Hang on friends!
There's a lot more goodies in the pipeline
So this ain't the time to close the deal
Here's the deal
Ooh, now you've got a howitzer all of your own
Ooh, and a panzer division to chauffeur you home
Gun running is fun
But hang on, friends, hang on friends
Allah be praised, there's a whole new craze
We're gonna shoot up the foreign legion
And it's up with the sheik
And down with the frog
We're gonna liberate the region!
Oh effendi, we're gonna bury your head in the sand
Oh effendi, you better get off my doggone land
Hey, prince of the moonbeams
Son of the sun,
Light of a thousand stars
Your gorillas are urban
And there's bourbon on your turban
And the sun shines out of your ass
Oh effendi, i'm gonna grovel in your wake
Oh effendi, it's all been a big mistake
You're gonna cut out my liver
If i don't deliver
Things are getting out of hand
I'm going to ride off into the sunset and
Make a deal with the promised land
Goodbye friends
There's no more goodies in the pipeline

Down on the casting couch
A star is gonna be born
A star with the stature of a harlow
Who's doomed
And groomed to enrapture
All her co-stars, and stuntmen, the co-stars
Oh, let there be lights, action, sound
Lights, action, sound - roll `em!
Out in the mezzanine
On the arm of a dumb marine
Her beauty looks out like a trailer
Norman mailer
Waits to nail her
He's under the bed
And he's waiting for her to be dead
He's out on the patio
With his polaroid and scenario
And he's armed and he's dangerously....
Close was the weather
When i was a kid
She gave me a feather from her gown
To cool me down, to cool me down
And i was the galley slave
Who lost his heart when the ship went down
Lights, action, sound
Roll `em
I had a part in the talkies
When you were a little girl
I've taken lassie for walkies
When she was the pup that vaudeville threw up
And destiny lead her
Hand in paw to somewhere
In hollywood
That's crazy, a dog up in beverly hills
Crazy, crazy
La, la, la, la, la.... (you better lie low)

It's one thing to know it but another to admit
We're the worst band in the world
But we don't give a....
If garbo played guitar with valentino on the drums
Then we'd be nothing more than a bunch of darma bums
So tune up, tune up
Well we've never done a days work in our life
And our records sell in zillions
It irrigates my heart with greed
To know that you adore me
Up yours, up mine
But up everybody's that takes time -
But we're working on it
Working on it (ooh)
We never seen the van - leave it to the roadies -
Never met the roadies - leave them in the van
All because of circumstances way beyond control
We became the darlings of this thing called rock and roll, ooh
Here i am a record on a jukebox
A little piece of plastic with a hole, ooh
Play me
Buy me and you play me then my plastic turns to gold
Here we are together on your hi fi
A little piece of plastic with a hole, oh
Fade me, fade me, fade me, fade me.....

One fine day i started writing home
One finds
It's so hard
To make it
It's gotta be the right time
It's gotta be the right kind line
It's gotta be the mainline
It's gotta be
It better be
So let it be
One fine day

Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Johnny was an angel
An angel dressed in black
He used to hang around the guys
Down at the local track
He tried so hard to join them
But they always turned him back
Johnny don't do it
He was an angel
Johnny don't do it
Such an angel
He was only 17
Just got out of school
He stole a bike from joe's garage
To prove that he was cool
He didn't know that the brakes were worn
And fate can be so cruel
Johnny don't do it
He was an angel
Johnny don't do it
Such an angel
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Well johnny went a riding
With his girlfriend on the back seat
Looking for some action
And they found it down a back street
Suddenly a truck pulled out
He tried to step on the brake
Johnny don't do it (here is a news flash)
Johnny don't do it (today, johnny kowalski, also known as johnny
Angel)
Johnny don't do it (and his young fiance francine, were tragically
Killed)
Johnny don't do it (in a cycle accident)
Don't do it, don't do it (any witnesses please contact)
Don't do it, don't do it (the police at precinct 29)
Now johnny's with the angels
The angels in the sky
I wonder if he thinks of us
As he goes riding by
If only had listened
Oh the number of times we tried
To tell him
Johnny don't do it
He was an angel
Johnny don't do it
Such an angel
Johnny don't do it
He was an angel
Johnny don't do it
Such an angel
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it