Swordfishtrombones

Well the eggs chase the bacon
Round the fryin' pan
And the whinin' dog pidgeons
By the steeple bell rope
And the dogs tipped the garbage pails
Over last night
And there's always construction work
Bothering you
In the neighborhood
In the neighborhood
In the neighborhood

Friday's a funeral
And saturday's a bride
Sey's got a pistol on the register side
And the goddamn delivery trucks
They make too much noise
And we don't get our butter
Delivered no more
In the neighborhood
In the neighborhood
In the neighborhood

Well big mambo's kicking
His old grey hound
And the kids can't get ice cream
'cause the market burned down
And the newspaper sleeping bags
Blow down the lane
And that goddamn flatbed's
Got me pinned in again
In the neighborhood
In the neighborhood
In the neighborhood

There's a couple filipino girls
Gigglin' by the church
And the windoe is busted
And the landlord ain't home
And butch joined the army
Yea that's where he's been
And the jackhammer's diggin'
Up the sidewalks again
In the neighborhood
In the neighborhood
In the neighborhood

[instrumental]

I plugged 16 shells from a thirty-ought-six
And a black crow snuck through
A hole in the sky
So i spent all my buttons on an
Old pack mule
And i made me a ladder from
A pawn shop marimba
And i leaned it up against
A dandelion tree

And i filled me a sachel
Full of old pig corn
And i beat me a billy
From an old french horn
And i kicked that mule
To the top of the tree
And i blew me a hole
'bout the size of a kickdrum
And i cut me a switch
From a long branch elbow

Chorus
I'm gonna whittle you into kindlin'
Black crow 16 shells from a thirty-ought-six
Whittle you into kindlin'
Black crow 16 shells from a thirty-ought-six

Well i slept in the holler
Of a dry creek bed
And i tore out the buckets
From a red corvette, tore out the buckets from a red corvette
Lionel and dave and the butcher made three
You got to meet me by the knuckles of the skinnybone tree
With the strings of a washburn
Stretched like a clothes line
You know me and that mule scrambled right through the hole

Repeat chorus

Now i hold him prisoner
In a washburn jail
That stapped on the back
Of my old kick mule
Strapped it on the back of my old kick mule
I bang on the strings just
To drive him crazy
I strum it loud just to rattle his cage
Strum it loud just to rattle his cage

Repeat chorus

[instrumental]

He went down down down
And the devil called him by name
He went down down down
Hangin' onto the back of a train
He went down down down
This boy went solid down
Always chewed tobacco
And the bathtub gin
Always chewed tobacco
And the bathtub gin
He went down down down
This boy went solid down
He went down

Well he went down down down
And the jumped on his head
He went down down down
Stayin' in a broken down shed
He went down down down
Sleepin' in the devil's bed
He went down down down
Never listened to the words i said
He went down down down down
He went down

Well he went down down down
And the devil said where you been
He went down down down
He screamin' down around the bend
Down down down
This boy went solid down

He was always cheatin'
And he always told lies
He was always cheatin'
And he always told lies
He went down down down
Down down down
This boy went solid down
He went down

Davenports and kettle drums
And swallow tail coats
Table cloths and patent leather shoes
Bathing suits and bowling balls
And clarinets and rings
And all this radio really
Needs is a fuse
A tinker, a tailor
A soldier's things
His rifle, his boots full of rocks
And this one is for bravery
And this one is for me
And everything's a dollar
In this box

Cuff links and hub caps
Trophies and paperbacks
It's good transportation
But the brakes aren't so hot
Neck tie and boxing gloves
This jackknife is rusted
You can pound that dent out
On the hood
A tinker, a tailor
A soldier's things
His rifle, his boots full of rocks
Oh and this one is for bravery
And this one is for me
And everything's a dollar
In this box

I got a belly full of you
And that leavenworth stuff
Now i'm gonna get out
And i'm gonna get tough
You been lying to me
How could you crawl so low
With some gin-soaked boy
That you don't know

I come home last night
Full a filth of old crow
You said you goin' to your ma's
But where the hell did you go
You went and slipped out nights
You didn't think that i'd know
With some
Gin-soaked boy that you don't know

Well i would bet you as far
As oklahoma by now
The dogs are barking out back
And you're knittin' your brow
Well i'm on your tail i sussed your m.o.
From some gin-soaked boy
Boy that you don't know

Well he came home from the war
With a party in his head
And modified brougham deville
And a pair of legs that opened up
Like butterfly wings
And a mad dog that wouldn't
Sit still
He went and took up with a salvation army
Band girl
Who played dirty water
On a swordfishtrombone
He went to sleep at the bottom of
Tenkiller lake
And he said "gee, but it's
Great to be home."

Well he came home from the war
With a party in his head
And an idea for a fireworks display
And he knew that he'd be ready with
A stainless steel machete
And a half a pint of ballentine's
Each day
And he holed up in room above a hardware store
Cryin' nothing there but hollywood tears
And he put a spell on some
Poor little crutchfield girl
And stayed like that for 27 years

Well he packed up all his
Expectations he lit out for california
With a flyswatter banjo on his knee
With a lucky tiger in his angel hair
And benzedrine for getting there
They found him in a eucalyptus tree
Lieutenant got him a canary bird
And shaked her head with every word
And chesterfielded moonbeams in a song
And he got 20 years for lovin' her
From some oklahoma governor
Said everything this doughboy
Does is wrong

Now some say he's doing
The obituary mambo
And some say he's hanging on the wall
Perhaps this yarn's the only thing
That holds this man together
Some say he was never here at all

Some say they saw him down in
Birmingham, sleeping in a
Boxcar going by
And if you think that you can tell a bigger tale
I swear to god you'd have to tell a lie...