Cool For Cats

(difford/tilbrook)

She was frigid like a bible
When she met her boyfriend michael
He took her in his zephyr
They sat like salt and pepper
Looking out across the city
From lover's leap is pretty
The lights they flick and flutter
He told her how he loved her
Next night he called for her
But dad protected daughter
And told him she was poorly
A lie was told there surely
So michael felt rejected
This wasn't quite expected
He drove off to his local
Where he felt anti-social

She cried all night at missing
The boy she could be kissing
While he was falling over
He drunk himself back sober
And went home in a taxi
And crashed out in the back seat
He slept just like a baby
Which he hadn't done just lately
He saw her in the morning
Out with his sister pauline
She felt all shy and soppy
He acted cool and cocky
He said tonight at charlie's
There's going to be a party
I'll meet you at half seven
She visualised the heaven

If you ever change your mind
Which you do from time to time
Never chew a pickle
With a little slap and tickle
You have to throw the stone
To get the pool to ripple

That night they danced together
It looked like love forever
He put his hand on her leg
You should have heard what she said
He tried again much later
It seemed to aggravate her
He drove home in silence
Avoiding all violence
She said let's watch the city
From lover's leap is pretty
I think i need the fresh air
She put a comb through her hair
Then while she turned to kiss him
And very nearly missed him
She put her hand on his leg
He felt her tongue in his head

If you ever change your mind
Which you do from time to time
Never chew a pickle
With a little slap and tickle
You have to throw the stone
To get the pool to ripple

I wan't nervous when i got this date
I went along to investigate
She turned out to look like me *(see note)
I stood up and gave her the seat
I'm so infatuated
Seemed like its complicated
I was helpless and i was sober
She cracked her whip and knocked me over
She made me hop skip and jump
'm 'm 'm my baby's love
With a hop skip and jump
She's a pretty one
When you're sitting in you seat
With her hand on your knees
She makes you hop, skip and jump

She's got spice, she stops traffic
She's got her very special magic
I wasn't nervous, i was shaking
She needed no investigating
She made me hop skip and jump
'm 'm 'm my baby's love
With a hop skip and jump
She's a pretty one
When you're sitting in you seat
With her hand on your knees
She makes me

(difford/tilbrook)

I never thought it would happen
With me and the girl from clapham
Out on a windy common
That night i ain't forgotten
When she dealt out the rations
With some or other passions
I said you are a lady
Perhaps she said i may be
We moved into a basement
With thoughts of our engagement
We stayed in by the telly
Although the room was smelly
We spent our time just kissing
The railway arms we're missing
But love had got us hooked up
And all our time it took up

I got a job with stanley
He said i'd come in handy
And started me on monday
So i had a bath on sunday
I worked eleven hours
And bought the girl some flowers
She said she'd seen a doctor
And nothing now could stop her

I worked all through the winter
The weather brass and bitter
I put away a tenner
Each week to make her better
And when the time was ready
We had to sell the telly
Late evenings by the fire
With little kicks inside her

This morning at 4:50
I took her rather nifty
Down to an incubator
Where thirty minutes later
She gave birth to a daughter
Within a year a walker
She looked just like her mother
If there could be another

And now she's two years older
Her mother's with a soldier
She left me when my drinking
Became a proper stinging
The devil came and took me
From bar to street to bookie
No more nights by the telly
No more nights nappies smelling

Alone here in the kitchen
I feel there's something missing
I'd beg for some forgiveness
But begging's not my business
And she won't write a letter
Although i always tell her
And so it's my assumption
I'm really up the junction