Best Of Roger Miller

Hot afternoon, sometime in june
Sittin' on the front porch waitin' on the moon
Talkin' to my neighbor next door ain't never ever very much fun
Go get my car, and my guitar, ride through town with the top down
Maybe i could buy me some beer, run out and look at the farms

And they call it the south, it's the land of the free
It lost the only war it ever fought in history
But i love the south, it's the land of the free
It's the land of hush your mouth, 'n joe south
And that's home to me

She was born in '52, she finished in a mississippi school
And something about her that turns you on
She's different, like another world
And you can tell she's not a new york girl
And something about her kiss that takes you home

But she was born in the south, memphis, tennessee
She was rich in looks from a poor memphis family
But she will stay in the south, it's the land of the free
It's the land of hush your mouth, 'n joe south
And that's home to me

California, i love you, your hills are high and your oceans blue
In la there's always something to do, and you're never alone
But i like fall,and i like spring, i love snow and i love rain
And there's something about la i can't call home

I guess i'll stay in the south, it's the land of the free
It lost the only war it ever fought in history
But i love the south, it's the land of the free
It's the land of hush your mouth, 'n joe south
And that's home to me...

Her head rolls back and forth
Against the billows of her long black shiny hair
As she contemplates the ecstasy
Of some other love that now she wished was there

If she could only realise that the love i have could beckon her command
Instead of laughing endlessly and pushing back advances with her hands

Every night i see her leaves a nightmare of illusions when she's gone
And it leaves a longing feeling in a man with a pain that lingers on

The gaudy goodbye can't replace the girlish giggle of her sweet hello
But tonight i've made my crumbled mind up that i'll never ever let her go

Too many nights i've watched her tease
By shifting all her weight from hip to hip
And with her hands brush back the falling strands
That cover up her satin lips

She struts upon the stage and her fallen victims are calling out for more
But she leaves them stranded helplessly and exits to her dressing room door

Tonight i'm gonna take her, i've infiltrated past the guarded door
But she just hurries by me carrying all those scanty costumes that she wore

And she asks a sawed off cigar smoking cat if he would open up the door
Then she told him to load the baggage
Because they open tomorrow night in baltimore

God' if i have to crawl, i'm gonna be there tomorrow night in baltimore

Two broken hearts lonely, looking like houses
Where nobody lives
Two people each having so much pride inside
Neither side forgives

The angry words spoken in haste
Such a waste of two lives,
It's my belief pride is the chief cause
In the decline in the number of husbands and wives

A woman and a man, a man and a woman some can,
And some can, and some can't.

Two broken hearts lonely, looking like houses
Where nobody lives
Two people each having so much pride inside
Neither side forgives

The angry words spoken in haste
Such a waste of two lives,
It's my belief pride is the chief cause
In the decline in the number of husbands and wives

Husbands and wives

You've painted up your lips an rolled and curled your tinted hair
Ruby are you contemplating going out somewhere
The shadows on the wall tell me the sun is going down
Ruby, don't take your love to town

It wasn't me that started that old crazy asian war
But i was proud to go and do my patriotic chore
And it's true i'm not the man, ruby, that i used to be
Ruby, i still need some company

It's hard to love a man whose legs are bent and paralysed
And the wants and the needs of a woman your age, ruby i realize
But it won't be long i've heard them say until i'm not around
Oh ruby, don't take your love to town

She's leavin' now 'cause i just heard the slamming of the door
The way i know i've heard it slam one hundred times before
And if i could move i'd get my gun and put her in the ground
Ruby, don't take your love to town
For god's sake turn around
Don't take your love to town

My uncle used to love but she died
A chicken ain't chicken 'til he's licken good and fried
Keep on the sunny side
My uncle used to love me but she died

Who'll bid me quarter, thirty cents for a ring of keys
Three sixty-five for a dollar bill of groceries
I'll have me a car of my own someday but 'til then i need a ride (thanks steve)
My uncle used to love me but she died

My uncle used to love but she died
A chicken ain't chicken 'til he's licken good and fried
Keep on the sunny side
My uncle used to live me but she died

Hamburger cup of coffee lettuce and tomato
Two times a dime to see a man kiss the alligater
One more time around free on the ferris wheel ride
My uncle used to love me but she died

My uncle used to love but she died
A chicken ain't chicken 'til he's licken good and fried
Keep on the sunny side
My uncle used to live me but she died

Apples are for eatin and snakes are for hissin
I've heard about a'huggin and i've heard about kissin
I read about it free in a fifty cent illustrated guide
My uncle used to love me but she died

My uncle used to love but she died
A chicken ain't chicken 'til he's licken good and fried
Keep on the sunny side
My uncle used to live me but she died

Well my uncle used to love but she died
A chicken ain't chicken 'til he's licken good and fried
Keep on the sunny side
My uncle used to live me but she died

I've been a fool, i've been a foo-ooo-ooool
Forgivin' you each time you done me wrong
I've been a long time leavin' ya, but i'll be a long time gone

Loved you so much, loved you so mu-u-huuuch
I stayed around when i should've moved along
I've been a long time leavin' ya, but i'll be a long time gone

I say hi there high line, hello highway
Here come a big old semi my way
I stick up my thumb, hear the truck come
But the truck goes by and he looks like he's flyin'
And he whoops the big legs on my levi's
They go woop woop woop woop woop

I've been a fool, i've been a foo-oo-ooool
Forgivin' you each time that you've done me wrong
I've been a long time leavin' ya, but i'll be a long time gone

I say hi there high line, hello highway
Here come a big old semi my way
I stick up my thumb, hear the truck come
But the truck goes by and he looks like he's flyin'
And he's whoopin' the big legs on my levi's
Woop woop woop woop woop woop woop woop

I've been a fool, i've been a foo-oo-ooool
Forgivin' you each time that you've done me wrong
I've been a long time leavin' ya, but i'll be a long time gone

Gone gone gone
Gone gone gone